Is this common in a second marriage?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been married twice. My first marriage was very difficult and abusive, lasted about 12 years, and we had children together. After a number of years, I remarried and after seven years we’re still doing well. For a while, I’ve found myself occasionally thinking “I really wish he (second hubs) was their father” referring to my children from my first marriage. I’d never tell them that, nor my first husband either. But, I have said it to my second hubs who’s sweet enough to agree. I think it’s understandable, but I can’t help but wonder if this is a common feeling.

Yes

No

Other

[BCRanger10]

It's one of those "have your cake and eat it too" kind of things. Your first husband is a part of the equation, even if he is a dirtbag. However, the feeling is understandable. We all want the things we have now, but still wish we had what we had before, that we'd gotten it right then.

[BCRanger10]

Thank you for MHO.

[najekim]

Yes. The son of my third wife thought me more of a dad than his real dad. After his mom and I got married, I offered to adopt him if he wished it (he was 12 then) but he declined preferring to still legally be in his grandfathers line of family.

[Anonymous]

personally i don't think that's common. should keep those thoughts separate. but i do feel like you may have gotten married too young, which lead to you ultimately becoming a single mom. don't rush into things

[LazerBean]

Well yes, I would think it would be logical for someone to wish they did things right the first time.