Will a baby save a relationship/marriage?

[Anonymous]

If it's already a broken one. Why do some think it does?

[BCRanger10]

If a couple is asking that question, the relationship is already doomed. A child ought to be the fruits of the love and fidelity of his or her parents (who, for the record, ought to be married prior).

If they see a child as a possible means of saving their relationship, they are preparing that child for a lifetime of anxiety and placing an undue burden on them.

As for why they do it? My theory is that it's one result among many of a selfish and utilitarian approach to and understanding of relationships that people have today. They enter marriage and relationships with a mentality of what they get out of it and what satisfies them emotionally and physically. They have a compatibility mindset; they ask "how does this person fit into the mold of what I want them to be?" They don't realize that love is ultimately a choice. And that love finds its greatest fruitfulness in children.

[BCRanger10]

Thank you for MHO 🙌

[EricSummer]

It depends on the situation. If the difficulties are due to one of the partners having an unfulfilled wish for a baby but the other partner finally goes along with that wish then things may get better.

Statistically, the median duration of a long-term relationship without kids is 4 years, but with at least one kid it is 15 years. It is possible that the adults pull themselves together somewhat when they have a child together, at least while it is still small.

[Asker]

No. The difficulty is just being a rocky relationship, lots of arguments and disagreements, with the guy being abusive (not physical really but possible to the kid) and often demanding

[EricSummer]

Ok. I've reviewed some studies on the topic and it is true that the risk is great when the relationship is not stable as the baby will add further strain.

[RoseySaraah]

Never does only make sit worse or puts off ending it!

So no idea why we think that a baby will help our awful relationships? Maybe it is baby fever or bad advice but those marriages and relationships always end bad with cheating and worse cause of the kid... Who now has 2 homes if lucky or child support.

[Apple1996]

A baby will either make or break a relationship. It really comes down to how the couple manages stress. If they can handle the stress of a child together it will make their relationship better. If they can't then it'll break up their relationship.

[Asker]

Well the relationship is already pretty rocky between the two

[Asker]

Why would they manage stress when their own relationship was always pretty bad?

[Asker]

Most likely the relationship stress will always exist

[TonyMetal___86]

Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't but usually when there are kids involved, a couple should work a lot harder on each other to stay together ans to also think about the kids, especially that the kids are innocent and deserves a father and a mother raising them in the same house...

[richardcory]

It just makes it more difficult to escape the misery, while adding yet more misery. Having a baby when you are in a bad relationship is a terrible idea - especially terrible for what it does to the child

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, it will just prevent the people from moving on or ever having a relationship with a compatible person.

Single parenthood is a metaphorical death sentence on future relationships, because pretty much no one wants a single parent.

[HelpfulWoman]

Never. EVER. have a baby to "save" a marriage/relationship. The last thing a failing relationship between two people needs is another person to factor in.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Because they're desperate idiots. "Everything sucks now, so lets add more stressors to the relationship and it'll get better!."

Nope.

[Marmara]

It will do only if the relationship is already good.

Otherwise the baby will be a victim.

[sheikalana]

Probably not. Everything is new when you have a baby and your attention will be mostly towards the baby. Terrible time to rekindle a relationship. I would leave that for later.

[gothbxtch]

no that’s not healthy for the people in the relationship/marriage or for the baby/child

[ShesRad80]

no- it only compounds the situation and adds an innocent to it all

[Anonymous]

ouch haha

a ton of mental health issues will be placed on that child because of the decision their dumb parents made. sad...

[jahaims]

Yeah adding more stress, less sleep, amd more financial responsibility to relationship that isn't working will definitely help.

[Grovermint]

It sometimes does, but it's often the final nail in the coffin.

[Pterodon]

Nope. It makes a relationship more complicated

[gotace1234]

Hahahaha, never.

[Anonymous]

no..