Please give me urgent advice on how to make things better for myself as there's a series of stuff thats happened to me in my personal life?

[Anonymous]

I got pressured into marriage by my father mentioning it to me a year ago and kept getting me proposals to the point. I then decided to seek a guy of my own who turned out to be my worse nightmare. He was a narcissistic abuser but in fear of my dad getting me marriage through a arrange marriage. I told this guy I wanted to marry him the narc then he ended up leading me on and was acting like he did in the beginning only to later use and abuse me. Now am married to a choice of my fathers and my family got me married off in a rush so i had no time to spend alone or to heal and I never healed after my narasssist ex discarded me and used me, cheated on me. Now am in this rebound marriage where am stuck with a guy am not necessarily into his a rebound and when I voiced my concen to a family member about getting cold feet. I got told off and said I won't find anyone else. Now the problem is am married and am expecting with my rebound husband. I spent months crying since December due to my ex but I don't trust anyone anymore or even care about anyone else. I just wanna do my own thing tbh. I feel so defeated by life and I lost hope. Am drowning in depression. Didn't clean my room in months and when I left go of my ex straight away after that I got married. My ex broke me so badly and now am trying to heal but how I don't even like spending time with the guy i married. His always lecturing me and wants a traditional wife and doesn't accept me for me tbh. I am so hurt and in pain. I cried a lot for my ex recently and thinking about the narc breaks me but am trying to forget about him now. I digged myself a bigger hole by getting married to someone who literally isn't my type tbh. I feel nothing towards my husband, no care, attraction nothing. In the beginning I felt quite blessed to have met him but he doesn't let me be free and wants me to base my life around marriage where I don't want too. I wanna live as I did before meeting the narc. I missed being my own person.

[Anonymous]

From the perspective I see your problem i feel that you are blessed and actually got saved from the more worse situation you were about to be enter yourself. Life is abuser is worse than the hell.

The problem now is the pain which is inside you because of your horrible relationship experience. The solution is acceptance.

Accept the reality that you are now in. See it as blessing what has saved you. As long as you would be fighting with yourself like this you would always feel terrible and depressed. Start seeing the positive side.

About you don't feel love towards your husband. Love is not simply just feeling but it's a choice. When you would start seeing the good side of your husband when you would automatically start loving him.

And about your husband wants you to be traditional. I know in this so called modern world when a man says a woman to be traditional to look after house they are seen as torture backward but same time we forget to notice that woman also expect from man to be financially well and support the family. God has designed the both genders differently like female are automatically good in caring and hospitality and man are automatically good in taking challenges do tough works what's wrong in accepting truth as truth?

No I'm not old fashioned old minded girl who says a woman should look after house always but it was my own view my own suggestion specific to your problem. In the situation you are in now. You can't change the parter. Why fighting with yourself daily?

Isn't it better to accept reality and try to do whatever better we could do NOW IN THIS SITUATION IN THIS REALITY?

And what's wrong in that? Is there anything wrong? I don't see anything impossible kind thing what your husband is expecting from his wife. I don't see wrong here.

This was my perspective.

[midnightmoon05]

Well said! 👍

[Anonymous]

why didn't you like, run away or something? why did you allow it? why did you then allow to get pregnant? you said you were expecting. that makes it even worse. and now i feel like your child will be put through the same exact thing. don't allow that to happen.

[boggboss]

Not really sure what to say I sound like you are in a situation where their are no good options realisticly work out what choices u have and pick is all I could think

[Anonymous]

Are you from India?💀
Anyways, are your parents cooperative and understanding? If yes talk to them and get a divorce

[midnightmoon05]

Is your husband abusive towards you? If not, you are lucky.
get rid of the pass.. take time to heal. We all have a pass…but we must I’ve forward to the now and appreciate what we have.
tell us more about your husband.

[Paris13]

Go back to your Family and Get a Good lawyer. xxoo