Should I marry a man with no money at all?

Question

Marry entirely for love, knowing he may or may not find work?

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

This is a really tough call sis. On one hand, if you truly love him to pieces then I know you wanna make it work. But you also gotta think long-term here.

Have you talked to him fully about finances and his plans? Does he have a clear path to finding work and supporting y'all, even if it takes time? Is he willing to hustle like crazy to help out however he can in the meantime?

You guys definitely need a real heart-to-heart laying it all out honestly before making that kinda long-term commitment.

Personally, I'd say don't rush into marriage until he's at least showing steady progress job-wise. Love is amazing but it don't pay the bills, ya know? If he's trying real hard and y'all communicate well as a team, maybe it could work out though.

Talk to your family too - get their perspectives since they just wanna see you taken care of.

Ultimately do what feels right deep down. But don't settle or take on more risk than you're ready for just yet. Feel him out more before deciding. Your future matters too sis!

rigmarole · Accepted Answer

Marriage is suppose to be about love. Clearly girls on this site are only looking for a cash cow. The same women will probably recite Corinthians 13:4-5 at their weddings to guys they hate...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

or Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Sad state of affairs we face these days...

ohsheeT · Answer

well I think you should look at it a little bit deeper

you say would you marry just for love see you're the only person that's loving. or in love.. because if he truly loved you he would have a job he would do whatever it takes to support you and just keep trying for his dream job meanwhile but that's not love if he's not going to do anything to help and want you to do it all that's just not love.

don't get blinded.
because of an emotion or a feeling. you have to step out of the picture and be 100% honest with yourself before you do anything

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would say everyone needs money but not everyone needs other people’s money. If you don’t need his money and you think he has a good heart, then you can choose what you want. But you’re not evil for wanting food and shelter and water. Some people need a second wage earner in their house to make it happen.

Summeroflove · Answer

If you genuinely love him

Anonymous · Answer

What kind of man is he and for what reason is he broke?

Acceptable reasons:

He is hard working and normally independent. But he had a traumatic event happen in his life that left him (temporarily) financially destitute. But he has the pride to get his shit together.
He is chasing a dream but is also realistic if he doesn’t attain it then he will need to go back to reliable work (this was me 12 years ago).

Unacceptable reasons.

He succumbed to addiction that left him financially destitute and has made zero effort to get help and recover from it.*
He has no work ethic and financially responsibility. He actually enjoys being a bum
Worst case scenario: he has been financially dependent on his family, friends and others all his life. He had no legitimate reason for it either. Now it’s your turn to support him. Go sugar mama.

The acid test is can he reliably make enough money to be fully independent. Renting an apartment and riding a bicycle because he doesn’t own a car is sufficient. No shame in that if you can 100% pay your own bills. But if he can’t realistically survive on his own you got a big problem on your hands.

I am also just curious why you are considering this? Is he extremely good looking, funny, etc? Do you want to be in full control of him? That emotional angle he’s got on you will wear thin over time and we get to brass tacks (who pays the bills wears the pants). Enjoy being married to a deadbeat.

*note: I used to be a compulsive gambler and at one point it ultimately led to an absolute financial calamity. No decent women in her right mind would have married me at that point in my life. However I righted the ship and I did it all by myself. I joined a 12 step program, got clean (two years now) and have worked my ass off to make additional (legit) money and get out debt. I had no one bail me out financially and took full responsibility. But I was raised with a strong moral compass to own to my actions and take responsibility. I make 6 digits and own a house by the way. My betting days are over.

normalice · Answer

Hard to say. I don't have a "one that got away" story but rather the reverse. When I was going to a community College living in my grandparents' basement there was a girl there who was clearly out of place in terms of attractiveness, considering how unattractive the rest of the town was. But because I was making top grades and even tutoring she obviously assumed I was a person she should "study" with, until she learned I still lived with my grandparents. Now, 20+ years later her beauty has likely faded (I haven't kept track) while I'm living comfortably. I didn't ask but assumed she wanted to cash in on her looks - get her MrS degree as they used to say. And I would have even been amenable to that sort of thing back then, considering how attractive she was and how horny I was all the time. Although, maybe if she would have taken the chance I might have assumed life couldn't possibly get any better and dropped out. Who knows..

Anyway, money and love have nothing to with each other. You must have money to survive. You don't need it from a man but you need it from somewhere and men generally have an easier time getting it. I think something like 90% of divorces are the result of financial hardship. It's not shallow to want to be able to survive - or if it is then shallow must be a good thing.

pethouse · Answer

The decision to marry someone should be based on a multitude of factors, including love, compatibility, shared values, and individual circumstances. Financial stability is, of course, an important consideration, but it's not the sole factor to base such an important decision on.

It's important to have open and honest discussions about financial expectations and ambitions with a potential partner, especially when facing the prospect of uncertain employment. Both individuals should come to a mutual understanding and be willing to work together to address any financial challenges.

Considerations to make before getting married include:

- Communicate openly about financial goals, expectations, and concerns. This may include discussing how both partners plan to handle financial responsibilities and deal with potential challenges.

- Consider the impact of financial uncertainty on the potential for long-term stability and well-being within the marriage and for any future family.

- Examine the broader context and current financial situation - can both partners realistically work toward a viable financial plan together?

- Ensure that the decision to marry is founded on a combination of love, resilience, commitment, and a shared, realistic view of managing financial challenges.

Every person's situation and relationships are unique, so it may be helpful to seek advice from trusted individuals, including family, friends, financial advisors, or counseling professionals, to understand all relevant aspects of such an important decision. Ultimately, the decision to marry, especially under financial uncertainty, is deeply personal and should actively involve open and respectful communication, understanding, and mutual support.

TenderFantasy · Answer

Like it or not, money is very important in this society. Even if you two didn't get married, how is he paying for his bills or living/survivng? Unfortunately, money is VERY important in this world/society to survive.

Not saying it's the only thing to consider though, yeah. If you love him and he loves you, then I say go for it, as long as there is a pre-nup. What you earned before the marriage you get to keep. What you earn during the marriage, you can/could share. If (or when) the marriage ever ends, then that's when you guys can decide what is what and who's is who's.

But yeah, acting as if money isn't important is sadly a foolish thing to do.

lightbulb27 · Answer

If you are financially in a good place, then he can play the house dad, tend to the kids, cook, clean, repair things, find deals, deal with doctors, manage the household.

That's fair and reasonable. It's a little risky depending upon your job, so you may have to think that through, consider buying term insurance on you.

Personally, I think it's a long shot because no money at all is a red flag. but if you are very secure, could work.

he doesn't have to do "nothing", he could do "something". but he isn't the main income source.

Now lazy no good for nothing sits around eating chocolates all day, watching football, addicted to soap operas, and drinks. who wants that?

PonyCar · Answer

If you're fine with

(maybe) Financially supporting him for years and the relationship perhaps ending once his feelings change (& he takes all that you've invested in him and moves on to the next person of interest)
Increased stress, decreased happiness (post-honeymoon phase)
Increased workload (assuming you'll be living together) for you and decreased workload for him
Supporting 3 people on one income after you have a child
Dealing w/his feelings of inadequacy (that he will ultimately boost off on you or worst-case-scenario cheat on you to avoid) that will develop as he has to depend on you for daily financial support
Reduced lifespan
Him taking 50% of your assets if/when the relationship ends

then yeah, go for it.

Anonymous · Answer

Will he have money in the future? Do you have a near future alternative that does?

Ultimately marriage is a practical commitment to a security partnership, primarily for children NOT you.

If your feelings were the deciding factor then you would have no need for the legal institution as he would simply be a friend that you can leave when your feelings change and vice versa.

The partnership on the other hand must provide something that is worth committing to. If he has no money at all then your committing to get secure access to whatever it is he does have. Is that a better deal than what someone else Right now is offering?

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

My wife did... I still don't work... she's happy.

This idea that a man needs to be judged on how much money he makes... it sort of flies in the face of everything feminism has taught us right? Why can't I stay home with the kids? What are they... sexist?

See what I'm saying? Money is a factor because we need it to survive, but if you can provide... I don't see why that is a problem.

LazerBean · Answer

My first impulse was to say yes, if he is a good man and you love him. But the description of your question makes me second guess. A person can ALWAYS find work somewhere. If he would rather not work at all than get a job that he thinks is beneath him, then that's a no.

jshm2 · Answer

That's like buying an expensive car, just so it can sit in your drive way!

May look good, but is going to cost you a lot more than its worth.

If he's studying and bringing other value to the relationship, then it's a different thing. But marrying for "love" alone, never works out.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Yes.

Money and work have nothing to do with marriage or love.

It also gives the opportunity to start a business together if you don't work either, or if you do work, to have him come work at your job and be able to spend more time with you.

desidoll · Answer

No money? You mean doesn’t earn good amount of money or jobless? Hmmm, as much as how love is important to make marriage works, money can be a big issue in our life. We need money for food, health, shelter and other necessities.

Unit1 · Answer

Do as you wish. But I implore not to make kids with him or else you'll birth kids, who - at best - end up like me. 29 Years old with a bachelors degree in computer science and 8 years of working experience in Software Engineering and being broke, sleeping on a mattress on the floor, wanking to porn because I'm too broke to afford 3 meals/day, let alone buy women their meal on dates or some flowers.

Itsasecret74 · Answer

Yes,,, absolutely... here's why... myself, as a guy.. I was raised with everything at my fingertips. Fortunately, I grew up and realized that $ means fuck all.. I would live in a cardboard box with happiness then the poison that accompanies $.. my girl at the end of the day.. just sighs in my arms.. and feels the power of love we give each other

Anonymous · Answer

If you love him and are okay with that possibility, then go ahead. It may/will involve much sacrifice, but if you are willing to make those sacrifices for the sake of your marriage, and he is also willing to do the same for you, then your marriage will succeed.

Nikki1989 · Answer

My husband was unemployed when I met him, but he had determination to make something of himself, and he did. Money is overrated.

slatyb · Answer

Would you be happy supporting him? How will he contribute? Do you want to have children?

Anonymous · Answer

Should I also marry a woman with no money? What's your opinion on this? But the woman I like dropped out of her education. She's so kind. She has feelings for me, and I also have feelings for her. Should I marry her? She wants to marry me because I'm handsome, 6'1 tall, and an investment banker. Should I look for another girl who earns the same amount of money as me? Like at least 200k a year?

I want your opinion on this first you'll get your answer!

Apple1996 · Answer

If your comfortable with that then sure but personally I cannot be with a man that didn't fully provide for me. I see a man providing as a way of love

FreyaRed · Answer

If do you need his money then don't marry him. If you have good paid job with high probability you can always make a lot of money, why would you care about his empty wallet?

exitseven · Answer

It depends. Is he have any ambitions? Does he have any marketable skills. ? Has he had a string of jobs? everyone had tough luck in the job market but if it is a pattern he might not be the guy for you.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

No that's moronic... what, are you going to live under a bridge with someone who "may not find work?"

Sevenpointfive · Answer

you don't live in a disney fairytale. marrying for love doesn't exist anymore. depending on the color of his skin, he may never get a job.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

nah. never marry a man who cannot at minimum afford his own lifestyle

Paris13 · Answer

No. Big Mistake. He May Even Rely on Your Own Money, honey. xxoo

molonski2 · Answer

in a word - NO , NEVER , unless you wish to live a life of misery.

laly520 · Answer

if he has a job n making money then yes marrying a man who's jobless n isn't ready to earn for his family is silly

Anonymous · Answer

you will be supporting him for life... or at least a very long time. he could even use you. it's best to marry when you BOTH have money. not one mooching off the other.

Berethor · Answer

You strong independent woman, why you need man's money. :)

JayBones · Answer

No you shouldn't. A man with no money isn't going to be able to provide for you and children. You can love him but marriage has nothing to do with love.

Novemberr_ · Answer

Even though financial stability matters a lot but does not mean everything unless there's heavenly connection and spiritual networks between spouses. Money can be found but true love is a challenge.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Stop worrying about money. Marry a man with character and the money part will take care of itself.

JacobJordan · Answer

Entirely up to you. Just because he has no money doesn't mean he will always have no money.

DextroShade · Answer

If he won't be able to provide you shouldn't marry him, just like a man should never marry a woman who wouldn't put out.

deus_ex_sisyphus · Answer

Unpopular opinion: It shouldn't even be a consideration. Treating a partnership like an exchange is bound to cause discontent later on.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Not if you want to afford a pool boy when he’s away.

jaskin777 · Answer

Yes.. if u truly love him u should now if he is just being lazy asf then no..

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Is he trained for a trade/profession? Does he have motivation to find work or train for a new career? If he is a pot smoking gamer, hard pass.

OtterMan68 · Answer

no. Finances are the #1 cause of divorce. Lack of money causes a lot of stress

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Only if you are willing to be the provider and fund his lifestyle

Dreamclouds · Answer

Well it is not the best case situation but be honest about what you feel and if he really loves you... money isn't everything

Lara_Croft · Answer

Do you have money? Are you Godly? What are you looking for in a man?

RossyBoi · Answer

No. He should have his own income instead of using you for money.

Zestyassmf1997 · Answer

Why would he be unable to find work?

jahaims · Answer

If you have to ask, no.

Iron_Man · Answer

Yes you should make your own money

whistlingwh0res · Answer

If he is whiny thief, then never

Anonymous · Answer

Are you crazy?

getwiththepg · Answer

Probably not.

Should I marry a man with no money at all?

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