I don't value marriage even a little a bit, although I'm married and have a child. It's just a bunch of useless roleplays to me.
When I talk to other people, including my husband, about marriage, everyone's response is "well, it's a marriage" and list the chores and how they think chores should be distributed. And if chores are distributed in a way both party feels fair, than marriage is considered successful.
Also when I was getting married, I was madly in love with my husband and we discussed our values tones of times, but when time passed, it all went to traditional way - him being closer to his friends, expecting me to cook, clean and take care of kid, bringing money home and being surprised that just buying every material thing I want is not enough. If we hang out it's just romantic date shopping/restaurant and sex.
It became boring af.
No one including my husband see the issue. Everyone thinks I'm crazy or smth.
But when I compare other people's marriage to mine, I see the same patterns. There is no personality and friendship inside marriage, just "you must", "you have to" and romantic dates time by time.
Also no one is being themselves with their spouse, everyone is way more free and happy besides their close friends so marriage being such an important big deal is just pathetic to me.
What's your opinion about this?
And yes, I know that there are people who have friendship in their marriage but what I described is 90% of marriage and very few marriage is exception.
When I talk to other people, including my husband, about marriage, everyone's response is "well, it's a marriage" and list the chores and how they think chores should be distributed. And if chores are distributed in a way both party feels fair, than marriage is considered successful.
Also when I was getting married, I was madly in love with my husband and we discussed our values tones of times, but when time passed, it all went to traditional way - him being closer to his friends, expecting me to cook, clean and take care of kid, bringing money home and being surprised that just buying every material thing I want is not enough. If we hang out it's just romantic date shopping/restaurant and sex.
It became boring af.
No one including my husband see the issue. Everyone thinks I'm crazy or smth.
But when I compare other people's marriage to mine, I see the same patterns. There is no personality and friendship inside marriage, just "you must", "you have to" and romantic dates time by time.
Also no one is being themselves with their spouse, everyone is way more free and happy besides their close friends so marriage being such an important big deal is just pathetic to me.
What's your opinion about this?
And yes, I know that there are people who have friendship in their marriage but what I described is 90% of marriage and very few marriage is exception.
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