Should a woman spend without her husband's permission?

[Melanie31]

Should a housewife spend money without her husband's permission?

[DarkLegacy]

I don't think that is a good idea, women do tend to go on spending sprees buying crap that they do not need or wasting money on fashionable rubbish or designer gear. They also have a habit of shopping as a form f retail therapy or to punish their husband after an argument.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

In my experience, guys spend far more on large purchases and hobby spending than the housewives I know do. The 4x4 that he "needs", the boat and its interminable maintenance, the hunting gear, the workout equipment, the tool and parts purchases, and so on. I do know of women who overspend, certainly, but I think it's not as common as you imply with your generalization of "women". Guys tend to make big purchases (i. e. a $20K sports vehicle), women tend to make lots of little purchases (i. e. $1K on clothes, shoes and home decor).

[DarkLegacy]

@TheRealPepperPotts Here comes the feminist lol. No women spend ridiculous amount son rubbish like jewelry and handbags and shows. People need cars and working out is healthy.

[DarkLegacy]

Thanks for MHO

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@DarkLegacy You must have been very hurt in the past to respond that way. I was sharing my observations and experience, and I didn't intend to fuel the gender war, although I can see how trying to bring balance to the topic may have been misinterpreted. My peeve was the generalization of "women". I don't at all deny that there are women who do not manage money well. I just know that irresponsible spending is not exclusive to women.

[Amur8711]

Absolutely not

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Why is that?

[Amur8711]

@TheRealPepperPotts Should a man spend without talking to his wife?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Amur8711 My late husband did, and I trusted him to make reasonable decisions.

[Amur8711]

That's good. Did you ever spend without his permission?

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Amur8711 Yes, I did. And he trusted me. I know women can and do overspend. I just really dislike generalizations about people, whether men or women.

[Amur8711]

It's different if both agree to do so. But without that I think it's rude

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I agree that it can be a problem, and communication is key (that sounds so cliche, yikes!). Thanks for clarifying; that sounds reasonable. What do you think of the three account idea that some have mentioned? One for each and then a single joint account?

[Amur8711]

I personally like that idea

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Amur8711 I agree. I think it could work really well, especially if one party was not as conscientious.

[AviatorTom]

In a marriage, there is her money and our money. She can spend her money any way she wants. Spending our money should be a joint effort.

[JacobJordan]

Yes and no. She is welcome to spend her personal funds however she wishes as is the man. However the joint money requires communication. My wife and I have 3 accounts her personal account, my personal account, and a joint account. I provide the funds for all of them but the way it works is anything that involves both of us or our kids come from the joint account unless it is meant to be a surprise (gifts can come from personal) anything that doesn't involve both of us for example her artwork or my books, movies, etc. Comes from personal. This way neither of us end up feeling guilty about spending on things we want or like.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@JacobJordan That's really neat. Thanks for sharing!

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I did. All the time. But we always discussed the big purchases and I communicated what I needed in the budget to manage my department (i. e. "Hon, I'm sorry, but $25 dollars for household expenses isn't going to cut it"). But we were a team and communicated our needs and expectations. We also shared a common vision for the legacy we wanted, and that made a big difference.

I can tell you that if a housewife had to discuss every detail of her spending with her husband on a daily basis, it would drive him mad. "Oh, hold on, boss. My wife just texted me for permission to buy the kids some Pepto Bismol because they have the stomach flu...".

But I'm not sure why a guy would legally bind himself to someone he didn't trust to make reasonable financial decisions without his oversight. I would think he would have had many conversations about money, economics and finance with her before it got to that point.

[Lliam]

She should be able to buy things without getting "permission". So should he.
But they should consult each other on larger expenditures. I mean, he shouldn't be able to buy whatever he wants without discussing it with her.

A couple is supposed to communicate. It's not about asking for permission. It's about talking about things and making mutual decisions that effect them both.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

No one in a relationship should make medium to large purchases without consulting the spouse.

This does not mean either can't to buy a coffee, or an outfit etc unless it's some huge name brand type purchase.

If she's buying $1000 outfits and accessories or getting $600 hair and or mani, pedi visits then she absolutely should clear that with her husband. There is a huge difference from buying a $100 outfit and going on a $10000 spending spree.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@XXTruthfulOgrexx Agreed.

[sawno]

Not if its their family budget. If its her own money then she can buy whatever she wants. The way my parents organized is that each gets their own allowance every month and everything else is in a shared family pool for family stuff they both agree on like food, repairs, new items for the family, etc. They have been married for over 40 years and I never heard them fight over finances. So its a working system.

[sawno]

As others pointed out they don't go into tiny details of course, but in this case my dad primarily does the shopping since he is better at bargain hunting. He has a fixed budget he can spend that week on food items that they agree'd can be safely spent and he makes sure to stay within it.

[docster]

It depends on who's more responsible with money. A married lady I used to work with said her husband was the irresponsible spender. She had to keep him reigned in and control the money. For some couples it's the other way around.

[Apple1996]

If the couple is married then all money is shared and they should fully trust each other to be responsible and spend money without asking for permission

[Anonymous]

By the time we get married, my wife and I would be very thorough and onboard with finances. Also I am terrible with math and money.

I would probably trust my wife's judgement on how we spend our money. In fact it would be my preference, even if I'm the one working, for my wife to be in charge of the flow of our money.

[Alex-Snow]

Of course why not it is her money also. If it is a large purchase like a car or something expensive perhaps it should be best to be a joint decision

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she doesn’t need permission to spend THEIR money. Momey coming into the household are both of their money, not just his. Withthat being said, of course they should talk to each other before making expensive purchases.

[spartan55]

My ex and I had a rule that any purchase $150 or greater MUST be discussed by both of us. We never fought about money.

[HighValue]

She should be given an allowance each month, but not have access to his bank/checking account or credit card accounts.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yes. The man is expecting a hot meal on the the table right?

[dreamstar72]

Extravagant spending might be worth checking out, but regular shopping and spending doesn’t need someone’s permission

[Billlewis]

Of course she should. Why shouldn't a woman, married or not, be able to conduct herself as she pleases?

[DrPepper12]

Of course!! Permission in a partnership presumes a power imbalance and lack of respect for her.

[ManInChains]

They're supposed to be a team why would she spend any of their money without his permission? That's like if he went and used the money for gambling and beer.

[ariadneR]

If its her money sure. Our money. No.

For me it boils down to respect for each other

[soe11]

• It's a agreement of tow parties.
• I permits to my girlfriend.