Should arranged marriage be banned?

Question

RebelinSteel · Accepted Answer

There is a very fine line between forced and coerced without forcing, such as if you don’t marry them the family does not get xyz or we will look bad in front of everyone, it is your duty.

If the couple were actually in love before they were arranged then fair enough, however everything else is simply pressure, there is no real choice.

People will say ‘oh but they can break it off’, however then any money needs to be paid back, the family on one or both sides will look ‘bad’, how will the other person feel when it’s broken off because they have been called ugly and zero chance they would marry.

Very much against it, if Tom or Sue are unable to find partners on their own, then tough. There is nothing wrong with people making introductions and having two people meet etc, however arranged is just forced but you don’t see the actual coercion and it will most like be physiological than physical.

MisterWack · Accepted Answer

The Question: Should arranged marriage be banned?

My Answer: Yes. 100%

I’ve heard stories of women in India suffering and being victims of arranged marriages. They’ve seen how ‘Western’ couples fall in love with someone, grasp onto that special someone, then decide down the road to have children. Conservative parents over there want to preserve tradition at the expense of their children’s own happiness especially as it pertains to women. Daughters have to make up excuses, fight to get a job, move out just to avoid their parents taking away their rights to love, choice, and intimacy.

It should be everyone’s choice no matter background, gender, ethnicity, political association, sexual orientation, religion you believe in, etc. YOU matter and YOU are worthy of love. No one can take that away or tell you what love means… No one ever!

Vesuvius87 · Accepted Answer

Since it's clearly both individuals entered an agreement then it's not forced. There have been many cases, where they eventually came to loving each other as time passed by. One advantage of an arranaged marriage vs your just marrying because you've fallen in love (feelings can come and go) is that at least a vetting process it's made and the person's goals, traits and values are already selected. You already know who they've arranged you to get married with. If you just get married because of the passion and loving feeling (but don't even know the person very well), that was a higher failure rate.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Personally, I've seen it work under certain circumstances, but I've also seen people very badly burned by it as well.

I think people should be able to choose freely whether they would like to be arranged with someone. It shouldn't be a forced practice.

AviatorTom · Answer

Why ban something that often works. In western countries, half of chosen marriages end in divorce. Arranged marriages have a lower divorce rate.

Grim_Adjudicator · Answer

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Adjudication score: 6/10

Radiate143 · Answer

No. Your problem is that you think arranged marriage is the same as forced marriage. Arranged marriage is way better than dating by far. I do think that people in, mainly South Asian culture, should give more pushback when their overbearing moms get unreasonable and are looking for their new free housemaid instead of a wife for their son.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

I still don't entirely agree with the practice but people give it a lot more flack than it deserves.

From what I hear, the child is a lot more involved in the process than they are often presented to be. All the parents really do is find the potential partner through the people they know and if it doesn't work out they'll find another.

It makes the search a lot easier and puts more emphasis on the bonding.

The only downside is the possibility of the parents saying that their choice is final and then the marriage is unhappy at best if it doesn't work out.

Alli112 · Answer

I mean not if the people involved are opting in to begin with and have an informed choice in which they have other viable options. (Ex. some people still seek arranged marriages on the grounds of cultural and religious values, and as long as they're walking into the situation intentionally and with respect then I think it's just another way of building out a partnership.) I wouldn't do it personally, but it's not a part of my culture in any way to begin with.

Seinna · Answer

It is, I believe, illegal to force/coerce someone to do something they don't want to do... especially enter a legal contract. But an arranged marriage doesn't have to be forced/coerced in which case it shouldn't be illegal... the government shouldn't interfere with the lives of consenting adults where nobody gets hurt.

HawkPerception · Answer

The modern method of arranged marriage is more like a dating app with your parents doing the filtering/swiping for you. It's not like "You're getting married to this person to combine both family assets and you don't have a choice in the matter" like in the past.

I think it just gives you another option. You can choose to go on the date if your parents show you and you don't mind it. I've never had it myself, but honestly at this stage in my life, I don't think I'd mind it 😂

Kaamraj · Answer

Westerners have a misconception that arranged marriages are forced marriages. Which is not true for most cases. The man and woman are introduced and they both have a say and can terminate the proceedings. Arranged marriages are extremely transactional and brutal, there is no iota of romanticism in it.
Man - judged for his family lineage and worth in terms of; job, assets, ancestral land and property, reputation, etc.

woman - mainly youth and beauty.

hahahmm · Answer

No. People should have the right to choose which culture they want to be a part of. If you choose to stay in a culture that practices that then that is what happens. If you want to leave, you should be allowed to. That's all.

HaveNoName · Answer

Arranged marriages are perfectly fine. What matters is how they were arranged. What also matters is how cultured the 2 sides of the familoes are. It is not just a man woman bond. It is always done affer evaluating the other side of the family and extended family.

Outside all that, marriage is a gamble and always hard work to make it work. You cannot blame it on whether it was arranged or not.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

For children yes.  If you agree as an adult to go into an arranged marriage then I have no issues with it. But if you are set to be married to someone from birth/childhood then I have issues.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Not that it happened to me, but I'd have to say that with all my boyfriends, my father knew better and sooner than me who was going to be good, and who was going to be trouble.

I bet he'd have chosen well for me.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Depends what you mean.  I selected no but only upon this case, the marriage was arranged yet both the couples have the right to back out without any cultural or family discourse. Otherwise yup banned.

rienna888 · Answer

I think arranged marriage is good if both parties, the man and women, both agree to it. As in they both can’t find a partner and need some help. But bad when it’s forced against their will due to poverty or something

avery58 · Answer

No, if both people involved agree to an arranged marriage then that's their choice and they should have the freedom to choose so

Kelley1 · Answer

Of course arranged marriage should not be banned. Generally, they are the more successful marriages.

BetaBucks · Answer

Arranged doesn't mean forced, so of course not. Forced marriage should be banned though.

Anonymous · Answer

As long as it’s consensual (and both parties are of age) then no. I’ve seen it help a ton of people fulfill their dreams.

RavVid · Answer

Love marriages only started early 1800's. Till then it was arranged.

RingOfFire · Answer

Of course not. As long as the couple is entering into the marriage voluntarily that's their business and no one else's.

FarmBoy13 · Answer

It’s not like anyone is “forced” like it was 100 years ago. Your part just made a pact that the kids would marry. I understand tradition but everyone still has the right to say “no”

Anonymous · Answer

Some people may not have the ability to pick up the opposite sex. Therefore, these people may need an intermediary to find a life partner. This is why arranged marriage should not be banned.

Anonymous · Answer

Nobody should be forced to marry someone. Especially if they don’t know one another or could end in disaster

loveisbeautyful · Answer

Yes it should. People should have a choice and not be controlled. That's a form of abuse.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Might not sound good to the westerners, but it seems to have worked fairly well throughout history.

Anonymous · Answer

No, but I won't do it again. Have you been to a swinging club?

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

if you're not indian, you have no say in what other cultures do

Anonymous · Answer

Forced arranged marriages? Yes. Regular arranged marriages are not forced and are entered into willingly so there’s no need to ban them.

Nifrayu · Answer

How exactly could such a ban be enforced?

handsomelad70 · Answer

If not banned, strongly discouraged.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes. Pure stupidity.

Should arranged marriage be banned?

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