Is it red flag if guy wants marriage after having a baby?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy online that wants a family really bad , a baby first , & marriage supposivly after having the baby not before.

[molonski2]

Why would you possibly go though child birth first? He is too desperate for my liking , approaching the scenario like " a bull at a gate " ..

Now , if you had already had the kid , and he was suggesting marriage fair enough , but to deliberately structure things this way , no way - too keen - too eager , having a child is a major thing , he would leave you bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen , thats not good.

[Asker]

He said he promised his grandma for baby before she goes … that’s y he’s eager and his dream is come home to family wife and baby

[molonski2]

Sorry , still too eager for mine , thats not a reason to potentially destroy your life.

[BetaBucks]

If he's traditional, or religious, that's a massive red flag. If not, then I don't know what the concern would be. Having children out of wedlock is a concern from trad life and from religions. Back before divorce laws existed. Things are different now. If you're traditional, you should be looking for trad men who maintain those values though. You just have to hold yourself to trad values too.

[Alwayreckles93]

Thank you excellent answer.

[Anonymous]

It's at the very least, a bit sus to me. In this world, men can seemingly just pick up and leave at any moment when they want to in terms of the dating world, and you can be left raising a child for a man who only made empty promises of marriage. Do not feel pressured to have a child or to tell him, you have no desire to go that route without marriage first.

[Anonymous]

Why is that a "red flag?" You're supposed to get married and raise a baby together. It's a "red flag" if he doesn't want that.

[Asker]

He wants baby first not marriage first

[DishLady]

Why does he have to get you pregnant FIRST? That doesn’t make sense. Out on your trainers and run away from this dbag as fast as you can. There’s no guarantee he’ll get you pregnant and then ditch you.

[Avicenna]

It could be, depending on your respective values

[itsannalee]

If he really wants to marry you he will.


If he marry you just because u have his child it means he just wants the child. Get married or not is personal preference, if you want to married. Get someone who has the same interest and intention.

[Asker]

Lol I’ll never get married I never had a boyfriend. This guy was just a random guy I don’t like. But it was first guy I ever met that wanted babies like I do. But yea we just talked for a bit on the church dating app that’s it. I deleted the app. I have no boyfriend nothing.

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

How long have you been together? Does he have a solid job and his own place? Making this decision you have to taken in account a lot of factors before going through something like this because it's Lifecare

[TheLovelyIntrovert]

*life-changing*

[Ms_Facesitter]

I don't see having a baby before marriage as a red flag. But rushing into it is a red flag for sure.

[Asker]

I don’t like him and I think a first boyfriend should be a guy that I like not someone I don’t like. Also it’s scary thought of having sex and baby with a stranger

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yeah... dating someone you don't like is never going to work.

[Alwayreckles93]

Choose wisely before its too late. If you are a Christian Iadvicenyoufind a strong spiritual husband. Worldly men are a waste of time.

[DextroShade]

When I read the title I thought sone guy knocked you up already and then did the responsible thing and proposed, which would be a green flag. The guy saying he wants to impregnate you before marriage is a massive red flag!

[Drackusdredge]

Yes that is a red flag I would not trust a man saying he wants to get you pregnant first before marriage.

[BadApple69]

Yes. It’s a red flag. Ring first then a baby… in that order.

[getpucksin]

If he wants to have a baby he should get married first, end of story. I don't see why would he wait if he plans to marry anyway. It seems strange.

[clampfan101]

A man should love a woman for who she is, not for what she can do. Besides, there’s also adoption.

[RingOfFire]

Hahahhaha!

Any woman that would go for that deal is in big trouble!

[Asker]

So I’ll just adopt as I’ll never get married. I’m almost 30 and never had a boyfriend , it’s my destiny never have a partner

[RingOfFire]

You can give up like that, or you can try to be happy and get involved in activities where you might have an opportunity to meet someone who you fall in love with.

30 is not old. It's too young to give up.

[Asker]

I been meeting 500 guys all year. The guy I fell in love with said we r friends with benefits. And other guy I love felt like my soulmate is a guy I cudnt exhange numebrs with as we got fired. I’m hoping we both r rehired any day now. And we reunite again

[Asker]

There’s no point meet more guys as it’ll be same I love the guy but he won’t love me back. Or they will love me but too scared admit it and not progress to meeting family , living together. It’s same story with all guys

[RingOfFire]

True love is not easy to find. It takes patience and persistence. And it also takes faith, to believe it is waiting for you.

Never give up because it can happen at any time in your life no matter what your age.

[RingOfFire]

I don't believe that. It may be the way with many guys but not all. You only need to meet one who is different.

[Asker]

Yea but a guy that loves me won’t be a guy I like back. It has to be both people so it don’t exist. Besides I just wanted a damn boyfriend to meet family I never wanted marriage I just wanted my family see I finally have a boyfriend. But no guy wants say hi to my fmaily and tell them
He’s my girlfriend

[Asker]

So that’s the only reason y now as I’m old , I need the whole package baby live together and apart of guys family. But in reality I just wanted to meet family at least.

[RingOfFire]

There are times in life when you need to make a decision whether or not you want to be happy or sad. If you keep fostering the sad thoughts in your head you are making a decision to be sad. The way to make the decision to be happy is to change your thinking of pessimism to optimism. That's how you find solutions that make you happy.

[LiamJHayden]

The only possible reason I can see is that he wants to make sure the baby is actually his before putting the ring on.

[Thikdik]

Yes most definitely it's a red flag. Somehow he wants something more than a kid. He wants u to sit at home and take care of it while he's out cheating on u. Js

[Crazzyyworld]

Maybe he is worried that the girl can’t get pregnant?

[Kayla45]

Yeah that’s a bit suspicious.

[Asker]

Why not marriage first? Now it’s distgusting me thought of having a baby so fast with random guy online that I’m not into

[Asker]

What if it’s a plan to have sex and dump u after having sex & using baby to lure woman for sex?

[Kayla45]

I don’t agree with having a baby before marriage, personally.

[Asker]

Wut if it’s all a lie just to have sex with u?

[Asker]

A scam?

[dustybiker2]

Depends on the man to be fair.

[BCRanger10]

Yes. Marriage ought to come first.

[HelpfulWoman]

big red flagggggggggg

[WhitneySnow]

That’s weird. I wouldn’t do it.

[dudegreat91]

Probably wants to "slam bam thank you ma'am"

[Asker]

He suppsivly said he wants babies really bad it’s his dream, and he wants fmaily to come home to and it’s also my dream have babies but I never will have a boyfriend and I’m almost 30 so I think I’ll just need adopt be single mom

[dudegreat91]

Cool down. Why do you think you'll never have a boyfriend?

[Asker]

I’m almost 30 in 2 years and all the guys I like only want friends with benefits. They act like a boyfriend the only thing missing is meeting family. Having babies. Living together.

The guy I love is a guy I met Dec and we got fired so we cudnt exhange numbers and if I can’t have him and marry him, there no point marry a random guy I don’t like back.

[Asker]

So I’m going to be alone forever

[Asker]

I have no interest meet men I don’t want look at any guy anymore. All men jsut want friends with benefits it don’t exist for guy want girlfriend.

[dudegreat91]

There are like billions of guys on the planet. Also you can try IVF with a guy you find attractive. You'll be able to have kid that way. But yes its hard to find men to commit in a serious relationship these days

[dudegreat91]

Probably you're looking for guys on dating apps. That is not a good place. You should date a lot of guys but be upfront from the start that you want something serious

[Asker]

The guy at job wasn’t a dating app guy. He felt like my soulmate wen we met , it’s long story but we liked each other June and we cudnt meet but he got fired but he got rehired Dec and we were together few days. But we made mistake not exhange numbers and since then I met 500 guys and can’t find better guy than him. He felt like the right guy. I don’t love any other guy than him.

[Asker]

And marriage is about marrying a guy u love so if I can’t marry him I don’t want Marry any other guy.

[Asker]

I’ll just hav to be friends with benefits forever n buy a house alone n just adopt n be alone forveer. But it’ll be lonely on holidays as I want be apart of a guys family and live together.

In order to make bday parties for my baby I’ll need a guys family to attend as I don’t hav family im alone. and i Desiré that blissful social life with a guy

[dudegreat91]

Must be having insta or snap. Or someone you know at work must be having his number. Not too hard to find a person in today's age. I'm like the reverse of you, don't want to maintain contact with any of my previous co-workers even when I have their numbers lol

[Asker]

He was very shy like me so I don’t think anyone at job has his number I was only girl perosn that talked to him. He was a nerdy weird guy no one cared about at job

[Asker]

I’m hoping I’m rehired now to Dec tho. But who knows if he’ll be rehired back for 2nd time again too.

[dudegreat91]

Seems like you're a hopeless romantic. I'm sure your earlier supervisor must be having his number. This is a good story for a movie, if anything like this has not already been made

[dudegreat91]

You want to get rehired just for a guy?

[Asker]

No I need this job as only this job has work at night and I’m going to school full time. Cannot find a job at nite for 6 months now.

[dudegreat91]

So you've never had a boyfriend before?

[Asker]

Why do people get married and cover the walls with 100 pics of their husband and babies in wall frames then? Isn’t that being hopeless romantic? The ring the marriage meeting familt that’s all hopeless romantics then.

[dudegreat91]

Yeah it is kind of overwhelming. I usually want to have pictures of myself on my walls

[Asker]

All that is hopeless romantic all the people that get married and take Lis with their boyfriend. It’s not right u call me that as I’ve never had a boyfriend I’m not 18 I’m 27 in 2 months

[dudegreat91]

How is that possible you've never had a boyfriend, and you're 27. Can you message me?

[Anonymous]

Yes, he is ass backwards.

[jackieistired]

Try before you buy type of thing, he sounds weird

[ale2003]

why would it be?

[MasterKS]

he can adopt if he is too eager!

[Asker]

He looks older and I don’t believe he is 23.

[Asker]

What 23 year old is eager now have baby so fast?

[MasterKS]

@asker why you care? he sounds funny to me!

[MasterKS]

@asker he is dumb!

[DrPepper12]

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