Easy - don't give attention to men who don't want the same thing you do. You cannot change a man, despite what many young women believe. If you want marriage, search for a man who also wants it (they exist) and be upfront about it, rather than get into a relationship and then waste years waiting on a proposal that will never come. Be steadfast in your conviction.
Unfortunately, young people are largely raised by schools and tv these days, rather than by parents who should explain those things to them... young women waste their youth on such men, then move on to men who actually want the same things in life. And since there is no shortage of women who believe they can change a man or who think such men will one day "mature" to this decision, there are many men who don't bother offering commitment. They no longer need to. Women largely made themselves dispensable by offering easy sex with no commitment.
On the flipside, that might be a good thing because some people (both men and women) are simply not made for marriage so perhaps it is better that we do not live in a society that forces them to. Both for them, and their partners who would likely end up being cheated on. So yes, whatever it is you want in life - be it marriage, children, or lack thereof - find a person who feels the same way as you rather than hope to change someone's mind.
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Most Helpful Opinions
1 ySame way women with self respect get decent men & aren't bothered by players, etc.
By having self respect, by having standards, by not going to bars / pubs expecting to find good men, by not getting involved with anyone who says hi or shows the smallest amount of interest, & by telling undesirable men with shitty behavior / ideology get lost.
It's that simple.
Men are more likely to be interested in marriage if a woman doesn't act and look like a trailer tramp. Dress respectfully. Act properly. Speak intelligently. Don't sleep with anyone and anything with a dick because men have to be able to trust - they are investing their time & money on you - and want to know you'd at least try to be faithful.
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I wish I could tell you, then I could tell my sister. I think y'all gotta not let the online dating thing get to your head though. Any woman can get 1000s of matches, but 0-1 of those dudes would marry you. Understand this and re evaluate your standards accordingly.
Dating apps really fucked shit up. I wish they’d all burn, but perhaps they merely unleashed the demons within. I just turned 30, I look at the dating landscape and I say…I think I’ll just stay alone. Would love to meet the right person but it’s so difficult to find a girl who’s not a loose slut, and no women is even willing to believe a man with my options is not the same…honestly, church might be the place to go. Best girls I’ve ever known, morally and spiritually were Christian
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Asker1 yEven church goers have dark secrets
Asker1 yI don’t go to church. You think I’m a slut? 👀
Asker1 y@Matt_M At least that “prude” looks at marriage as sacred and doesn’t have herpes.
- 1 y
I don’t know you @Peridot25 so I won’t make assumptions, but if I met you at church I’d think you are less likely to be a worldly person
- 1 y
That comment was actually intended as a response to the dude above above you, not to you. And, just so you know, I was using the word "slut" ironically. It's not no a name that I just go around hurling at women as an insult.
As for marriage being "sacred," I'm not religious, so I don't really think that *anything* is sacred. I'm not opposed to marriage on principle, but I tend to see it as a convenient economic arrangement with a certain amount of symbolic significance, but not "sacred."
Asker1 y@Shamalien I don’t go to church so you’ll never see me there
- 1 y
@Peridot25 neither do I, but I know there are wife material women there, so I may try it at some point. Just so tired of worldly people that don’t have higher spiritual goals or understand the importance of sexual purity
- 1 y
@Matt_M ask @Peridot25 what she thinks then lol, ask any woman what she thinks of a slutty man who can’t control his urges
The first obstacle for them is that they need to be a good quality woman and only go for men that are near her own quality. When she is low quality, which many are, then wants a higher quality man, she is setting herself up for disappointment.
The second obstacle is that she needs to offer to sign a prenuptial agreement for a man to take her seriously.
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What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
34Opinion
1 yI just got married in Sept 20 of this year. What I can suggest you is seek for a man with your same goals. Be very selective on your vettting process and ditch any man that's against marriage quickly. If marriage is what you want, don't agree to live together with a boyfriend because that would contradict yourself; you're searching for a husband, not a long-term boyfriend.
00 ReplyMany men do want to be married.
I did, that is why I got married for the 2nd time.
You probably need to look else where.
There are some dating sites where people are looking to be in a relationship, and marriage, but they are not the free download this app and get laid tonight apps.
Places like eHarmony, It's just lunch, where yes you have to pay to join, but most people because of the cost tend to be more serious about what they want.
yes some will use it as a hookup site, but at least when you view someone's profile you can see what they are looking for before you invest more time and only to find out that they were just looking to get laid.
I live in a tiny town, and the 3 single women in town were not what I was looking for, so I used a better online site and while it was still a lot of work, it is almost like a job, the end result speak for themselves.00 Reply
1 yThere are men who want marriage. They are the invisible men. They don't look like Hercules, they look like accountants. They love working hard, playing hard, and having beers with friends. They mow their own lawns. The guys most girls would never even notice.
Those are the best guys to marry.30 Replyi think most dudes still want marriage at some point, though they tend to want it at a later age nowadays. if you find that dudes your age aren't into marriage yet (though a certain amount should be at your age), than you might want to go a bit older, like maybe for dudes 35-45. they'll be much more interested than guys in their early 30s to get married and have kids
10 ReplyYeah you have a good/important point. I don't know what the quick fix is though. I think maybe non-legal marriage should be discussed and accepted more. Like doing everything else the same besides the government contract. I think that would solve 75% of the issues men have. They'll put up with the personality stuff, for the most part.
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1 yI am a woman and married second time.
I understand men… they are simple. They want a good quality woman/wife to have/ to build a happy loving relationship/family.
they know when they see one who is wife material or one who they may not want long term… = Ms. Right now vs. Ms. Right to be married to.
do you carry yourself as a Ms. Right now or Ms. Right. ?00 Reply
1 ywell figure out what it is men want. and hot tip here. you won't hear it from woke culture bullshit outlets like buzzfeed or whatever the lgbtq community and feminists say.
men do wanna marry. but they won't marry a hoe who fucked 100 men before them and has a running onlyfans account on the side.10 ReplyMen are easy, we just want to get to know a woman first, see what our interests are. If we connect, if the sex is good, fall in love, etc.
If she pushes the marriage to so, a man will run almost everytime.
Men are simpletons, just take your time or put in your time, how ever you want to look at it.
If he feels pressured, he's gone
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Asker1 yI think the reason why women get pushy because their biological clocks are different than men’s. They were taught to get married and have kids at a certain age or they’re no longer desirable. Also, it’s harder for women to get pregnant when they get older. So, really that’s not their fault. And they were told if a guy doesn’t propose at a certain time, it means he’s not interested.
Well, either women stop looking or they do what they always do. Make it a political issue and see if they can either force men into marriage against their will. This option seems more in line with how feminists politics usually works. Or they make efforts towards changing the laws to become more equal in marriage, essentially taking away their own advantage like men have done in politics these last couple of decades.
Doesn't seem very likely either option to be honest.
10 Reply
1 yIsaiah 4:1 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
You are witnessing Prophecy unfold in action.
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Anonymous(30-35)1 yIt's true that many men are avoiding marriage in record numbers today for the reasons you mentioned. But there are still men getting married, for better or worse. Good, worthy women can still find good, worthy men to marry. Just don't look for them on Tinder.
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1 yI wouldn’t say men are against marriage , for the ‘right’ woman etc I’d say that many men would marry. Secondly , since when did women always do what they are told?
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1 yProbably by knowing a lot about people. There's a lot of men that are still trying to get married at any age. You need to get to know them to even know that though.
00 Reply- 443 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
1 yMost men want marriage and a family, a lot of women just aren't worth it.
I should know, I was and still am weary of marriage, but I've been married for 12 years. I have no regrets or complaints either.10 Reply
1 yNot all men are avoiding marriage although I can understand why women would believe that if they are basing their opinion on the online community.
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1 yYou might find luck through a church, or something? It used to be that people would rely on their immediate social circles to pick a match out for them.
06 Reply
Asker1 yYou’re the third person who mentioned churches. I don’t trust church goers. Also, they’re so set on having kids and I don’t want kids.
- 1 y
There's a saying; if you befriend 4 smokers, you'll be the 5th. Maybe you could befriend 4 married women? I'm sure they would know eligible and searching men.
Asker1 yI was friends with a married woman and she called me a slut. And her husband. And they both go to church. So….🤷♀️
- 1 y
See? Now all you have to do is surround yourself with 3 more and you'll know for certain that you're a slut in church
Asker1 yI’m related to a married woman who happens to be my mom. Does she count? 👀
- 1 y
Lmao that is above my paygrade. I'm not a church slut lawyer, I'm afraid. You'll have to navigate these waters on your own.
Men used to have to make a commitment to a woman for sex. That was courtship and marriage. Women wanted equality and freedom. Guys don’t need marriage anymore for sex or children. This is what equality and freedom looks like.
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Asker1 ySo we don’t have to worry about marriage anymore?
What do you care if men want marriage or not? Aren't you the same person who said that men should just stop asking women out and stay single because women don't want to be with us in the first place?
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Asker1 yActually, I said men no longer want to be with women because men are the ones who get screwed over.
Asker1 yI’m still wondering why men want marriage yet tell women to find a husband. I’m just confused is all 🤷♀️
Asker1 yIf my posts bother you and you don’t like me, there is the block button you can press.
Asker1 yYou have to remember these men online are real life men who actually think this way. They may say whatever they feel about women online but who’s to say they don’t say the same offline?
- 1 y
I have no problem with "you" as a person, I just think you say some ignorant shit sometimes. And it may not even be your fault. It may just be that you're so deeply enmeshed in Internet Land that you forget that there's a whole world out your front door filled with all sorts of different people.
1 yMaybe you should stop listening to others trying to dictate a lifestyle and simply do what makes you happy and what you want.
00 Reply- 316 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
1 yWhat you ''get told'' to find... is that your own free will?
If yes, then you will succeed.
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Anonymous(30-35)1 yThis is why I wish I grew up in a culture where arranged marriages are the norm. Although I'd prefer to marry for love, it gets lonely sometimes.
00 Reply337 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic. @Peridot25 Men are dodging marriage because this generation of women exit marriage very fast.
So there is no to fix it I guess22 ReplyI would never tell a girl to find a husband. You do you
I don't want marriage myself, but i would never tell you that you need to find a husband
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1 y
.
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1 yWhat do you need marriage for if he’s gonna be a husband without the legal documents saying he is
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Asker1 yI’m wondering the same thing about men who want marriage.
- 1 y
I think it’s a social thing, like to show the world etc and to have an excuse to throw an expensive wedding flexing it, a partner doesn’t need a legal document to give you their soul (by the way I’m not against marriage I just think it doesn’t mean what it used to mean)
Asker1 yIf a man and woman are getting married, then what does it mean nowadays?
Asker1 yWhat are your thoughts when you see a married couple?
- 1 y
If they’re getting married it means they’re proving the seriousness of their relationship (one of them is) and it’s really just an invitation for a third party (law) to “regulate” their relationship in few cases
- 1 y
I usually smile when I see married people, I’m usually assuming they have high levels of chemistry, 2 real adults
- 1 y
That she is much smarter than him
- 1 y
Crop your pic
Anonymous(45 Plus)1 ySo as others have pointed out, who is telling women to find a man?
Seems like women are being told they can do it all themselves and they don't need a man. So be it.00 ReplyNot all men don't want marriage imho,,,
Men are just put off because divorce laws are heavily biased in favour of women,,,
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1 yIn all honesty... I think you're on the right path. Your questions show a compassion for men and a desire to understand.
00 ReplyMy advice in the short term, move to Utah. Marriage and kids are alive and well in Mormon culture.
013 Reply
Asker1 yYeah…. no thanks. Marrying into a Mormon family means I would get abused and be treated like garbage.
Asker1 yI wouldn’t risk it.
Asker1 yWell, I don’t want kids. So I’m out
Asker1 yStill going to pass
Asker1 yActually, I wasn’t really looking for advice
Asker1 yI’m not looking for a husband for myself.
Tough shit.
Shoukd have thougth of that before women allowed feminist ideology to meddle with the legal system
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1 ySOME men, like some women, desire marriage, but for obvious reasons are fewer and father between than similarly-opined women.
00 ReplyWhy get married just becaise people tell you to?
00 Reply- 384 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.
1 yThey can push politicians for a return to "at-fault" divorce.
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Anonymous(18-24)1 yNot all guys are. against marriage and not all women want to find a husband
00 ReplyI definitely do want marriage, but women don't talk about guys like me. They just ghost me and then question why there's no good guys out there.
00 ReplySome of us do want marriage. Mostly those who don't see an expiration date.
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1 yI think a lot of people want be married I think we gotten to pointe we want live independenty we don't have time for someone
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1 ySome men still want marriage.
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1 yWho said you’re supposed to find a husband?
10 ReplyAh, this woman again.
10 ReplyThey all lie and lies shrink if they not stink
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Anonymous(45 Plus)1 yYou don't.
02 Reply
Asker1 yOk cool. Saves me the stress.
Opinion Owner1 y👍👍👍
Find men who do
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Why are women so desperate to marry and have a man but men nowadays prefer being alone/single?
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