If a guy brings up marriage in a relationship, is it something to worry about or dismiss?

my boyfriend kind of brought up " well, we could get married" casually in conversation, then played it off as a vague idea and I was like, oh cool nothing to worry about, he's not serious.

then I told some mutual guy friends about it, and they're like "dude, if a guy brings up marriage in a relationship, ...thats pretty weird." and I told them that he was probably joking and all I got was silence, then one of the guys told me to please not get married at age 18 and whenever I said he's not serious, they just gave each other weird looks.

my boyfriend usually doesn't say things he doesn't mean, should I be concerned?

also, we've been dating for 4 months, and he can't even say "I love you" yet.


Most Helpful Girl

  • same thing happened with me-except it was when we first started dating.. tho he'd liked me for a long time already. all the guys are like 'guys don't bring up marriage as a joke' I don't bring it up at all for any reason, so I assumed its nothing but a joke. I didn't see why anyone would talk about marriage unless they were joking.

    was he joking or did he mean it. who knows. what difference does it make. I'm not getting married-at least that's my decision now. if I change my mind in ten years so be it.

    if your boyfriend 'meant' it, I don't see the issue, if you want to and he asks OK, fine. if you don't want to and he asks , you say 'no'.

    he hast even asked you, and even if he had you just answer honestly. what are y worried about?

    • if he was serious about getting married, I don't know whether I'd dump him or stay with him. I wouldn't get married to him probably. I'd want us to be on the same page.

    • if he knows you don't want marriage to him. and he's OK with that, why would you dump him?

      im asking this for myself as well. like I have nothing against being in a relationship - at the pont I actually want one-for ten years etc. hypothetically.

      so if a guy knows he wants marriage, & I dont. I figure, it wouldn't last or get deep, because he knows he's still searching..

      idk its hard to think about because I don't think of marriage. but is that what you mean? your relationship would be shallow?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He was joking chill. What was the conversation? I have joked about getting married and having kids all the time.

    • I get what you mean, I've been with guys who do that, but he's not the type to joke about something like that, because he takes everything really literally (it makes it hard for him to get subtle jokes, it's cute) anyway, I digress; the conversation was:

      me: I't's gonna suck when I go to school in Canada and you're not going to be able to visit (he's not allowed in canada)

      him: we could get married.

      me: I don't think it works like that

      him, I was just sayin, it works for people in russia...

    • i wasn't worried until his(our) best friends seemed to be concerned.

What Girls Said 2

  • Well, my boyfriend brings it up pretty frequently and he's always half-joking, half-serious. I suppose it depends on the guy. You should talk to him. Ask him what his actual thoughts are about the topic, and be totally accepting of whatever he tells you. Then share your thoughts. It will clear up any confusion and build trust and understanding as well. Don't try feeling your way in the dark when you can just turn the lights on :)

    • he usually doesn't say things he doesn't mean. I'd talk to him about it, but...I'm still processing.

  • If anything I would think you should be happy

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