Most definitely not. The majority of people in my social circle are married or getting married. Most are in 10+ year relationships. It just depends on your values. There are a lot of people who only care about themselves and only care about the benefits they get out of a relationship. Nothing to do with their partner. Relationships and marriage take work, but if 2 mature people know how to handle conflict resolution well, the relationship will prosper.
The idea of marriage has always been a beautiful concept to me. Bonding with the person you love for life and having a grand celebration with all your loved ones in honour of your bond. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I've imagined my marriage and the way I propose my entire life
Marriage has it's good points especially when dealing with bringing up children and families. However, is it needed? Yes and no. A formal recognition of one's commitment to another in order to build the foundations and home life for a family or supporting each other through life is something that is nice to have recognition for.
Outdated? I don't think so but it COULD become like a time limited agreement say once entered it's a 10 year term that each agrees to and that after it things can separate (without joint responsibilities) and compensation if pull out before termination unless agreed amicably.
@thegreenyogi
Thank you so much for the MHO. Much appreciated
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It's funny that you brought up this question because I saw a clip from the movie Shall We Dance and basically in the movie, Susan Sarandon's character, Beverly, suggests that people get married to have a witness to their lives. She explains that in marriage, a partner makes a promise to care about everything that happens in the other person's life—the good, the bad, and the mundane—ensuring that one's life will not go unnoticed or unwitnessed.
I believe this to be true. Marriage is still very much relevant today. Most of us are searching for our person to help us navigate through life's hardships and fortunes. Marriage may give us more purpose and meaning in life. To experience all the woes and joys with someone is the ultimate experience. And yes you can experience this without marrying someone but it just makes it so much more meaningful to have a pact with someone that you love. To say I will honor and cherish this person until the day I die.
I can hear her voice when I read your words
Marriage isn’t obsolete, but the risk exponentially outweighs the reward for men. Only complete nitwits and masochists are still marrying. It would take a previously unparalleled reversal of marriage, divorce and child custody laws for good, self respecting men to return to the vows.
Marriage was originally just a business agreement between two parties where each guaranteed the care of the other, but this was also during a time where women were considered property and marriage was the transference of ownership from father to husband. The husband made sure the wife lived in relative comfort, and the wife made sure the husband had a comfortable home. This traditional arrangement is fine in places where men and women are not considered legal or social equals, not so much in a society where there is equal ground.
Marriage still has a place in the modern day as a show of commitment to monogamy, a romantic gesture and a guarantee of companionship that would ideally improve your life. This doesn’t often happen in heterosexual relationships because a lot of men still expect traditional roles in marriage and are surprised when their wives subsequently leave them for making them deal with both the bulk of the labor at home and the labor of caring for the man alongside themselves. Now obviously same-sex marriages can also have their problems, but they’re wildly different and vary from couple to couple, and these are people that were not allowed to be married for far too long and they deserve and have earned the right to experience that commitment the same way heterosexual couples do.
Me personally? Never getting married, not because of traditionalist reasons but because when you’re asexual and aromantic with no interest in sex or dating, you can’t really give someone the love they want in a way that makes them happy in the ways they expect. So I’m content to be without and be present for the platonic relationships in my life instead.
You absolutely need marriage you always will. Having a safe, secure and healthy household with a good male and female parental figure/role model for your family is never going to be an obsolete thing. At least it never should be.
The thing that shows me that marriage is needed now more then ever is just looking at the people that come out of single parent households more so single mother households. When kids do not grow up with a strong unified household that is committed to each other and has strong proper role models the kids will end up messed up in more ways then one.
But I do need to preface that when you get married you need to do things right and you need to make absolute sure that y'all are right for each other. Because if you ain't or the relationship is dysfunctional, toxic, etc it will destroy the marriage which is why marriages are failing more these days. Because the relationships they came from were either fucked up or the people involved were fucked up, moved to quickly, etc.
I attribute the kind of person I am today to the household I was raised in and the fact that my parents were and still are wholly committed to each other and our house unified. And I had many good strong male and female role models growing up most notably being my parents. And I could have turned out much differently if that were not the case.
My parents and I were just discussing the "tragedy" of my generation when it comes to marriage. Of course they come from a generation where you were and have been married forever and it really was about setting up a strong foundation for a future. Financially they were able to do this more easily. There was no internet and "options" for everybody to just pick and choose from whenever they were bored for a second, and society backed up marriage and family both on a social level and a financial one. Now I think there is so much that goes against that. People don't work through their problems anymore or want to fight to stay together. Everything is 1 year or 5 years, and they dip.
Men are terrified of divorce. Women are terrified of being left after having kids. Everyone is scared to say I do because what if this, and what if that. I've heard so many men say they'd rather sleep with their own money than a woman next to them if it means they have to get married. The other side of it is women no longer need to rely on men for their future. All my aunts live in very nice houses, have very nice jobs, drive very nice cars, and can absolutely take care of themselves, but they are single. Some men see these women as "not needing a man." I mean where does that leave us as a society. We are more and more habitually single/dating as opposed to working towards a future and marriage. OBVIOUSLY this is my opinion, and does not apply to everyone or in every situation. My sibling and some of my friends are headed towards 10 years of marriage, so the ones that do, say I do.
Obsolete? In it's current form yes. Why? It has become less about commitment but more of a public statement and business contract that is highly one sided. In the past both sides supplied benefits to the other to compliment each other.
Today it is more about what you can get out of your partner and limit the effort or investment you have to put it. Couple that with someone can wake up in a bad mood one day, decide they are done, and blow up the entire relationship.
In my opinion it needs to be retired.
Marriage started thousands of years ago for the reason out getting something out of it. Like an agreement to merge families and protect property, or stand together in times of war. It wasn't about love. A you girl who's period just started meaning the can provide heir, would get married off to a 60 years old man just so that the family can gain from it.
Today that isn't necessary anymore, I feel like it's now just a form of entrapment.
Am I against the idea of marriage? No. Would I get married again. Yes. I feel like it's a good sign of commitment. But then again, it can be easily broken anyways. So what's the use. Like my dad says "a ring doesn't close a hole".
To add to this, in the USA you don't have to have a ceremony or sign paperwork. If your and your partner have lived together in the same house (LIVED together, not just know one another) and told family or friend that you might not be married but see one another as husband and wife, then Boom, you are married.
No I don't... It's only been tarnished with appalling names by these "tunnel visioned & blinkered" individuals, who have sadly convinced themselves that women only ever enter into marriage for monetary or property gains.
Obviously there will always be those who consider marriage for whatever reasons totally unnecessary, and that of course is their entire prerogative... That being said, no doubt there are some very successful and happy relationships, without needing that signed bit of paper.
Purely from my own personal experience, I have gained so much in being married, from literally building our own home together, to putting the two most adorable and precious children in it... Ok, you can rightfully say that I don't need that piece of paper (marriage certificate) to do this, but for me it just finally cements our relationship.
How about your goodself @thegreenyogi ❤
@EmmaMary I believe in marriage for the right and only reason: True Love. I had the experience of witnessing my parents love for each other and they married for love and so that is why I would marry one day. Of course that is if my partner wants it too. And it is terrible that it has been tarnished my this idea that marriage is a buisness deal. Xx
@thegreenyogi As far as I'm concerned, you're absolutely spot on with your reasonings. xxx
Hard one, yes and no.
I've been married before (now divorced) and truth be told I dont think we were happy after a while. People say they fall out of love but I dont believe that really sure you can stop loving someone who hurt you but not so much to fall out of love with said husband or wife.
I do want to get married again to the right person hopefully, marriage is important to me as I've grown up around people getting married and having kids etc. And honestly that's what a successful life looks like to me and id like to celebrate the live and commitment to someone with my much loved family and friends.
I see one 'valid' reason: a marriage gives a sense of stability and continuity to those people who - from their personal (or surrounding) culture - need this emotional re-assurance.
Myself: after homosexuals corrupted the initial idea and concept, I not longer will submit to it, as it has become a farce to satisfy contemporary trends.
To those who see it as a 'divine' institution I may want to ask: how is it that the governments have a say here? (reference in reversed logic: Give God what is God's; and leave to Cesar what is left)
To those who see it as a matter of expressing ''love'' I may want to ask: how is it that ''love'' needs to be sanctioned by an administration?
However - there also is a 'mental' marriage - which I'd describe to be a commitment without paperwork, that aims to last.
Which version now is the more sincere one?
Tbh marriages sucks these days. at least in my country. All I here is affairs affairs affairs. Shocking is.. wives killing husbands with the help of their boyfriends.. men used to cheat before... Now women doing it. All thanks to social media. People getting attached to strangers online and starting an illegal relationship. Killing their partners and child just for temporary pleasures. Even when there is no affair.. work balance life destroying marriages. As cost of living is more.. both husband and wife should work to meet needs.. but they don't spend time because of different work hours. With this.. the child care is getting difficult and looking after their parents is even more difficult, leaving them in despair. Marriage is still a need in today's world but it doesn't go well as we want or as we plan. Have to bear challenges in the way.
You don't need the marriage to have a healthy relationship. Depends why you marry. Are you influenced by others and you think it is obligatory or don't you want to marry because of costs or because it is only to sign a documentand change the name?
I wish but I don't need to, if my next boyfriend would not want to.
I don't regret getting married. I loved the woman I was with at the time, and it led to me becoming a parent as well. I never had a lot of money so she was never with me for that, and I didn't lose anything. At this point a 2nd marriage is definitely obsolete for me. I never even actually got divorced from the first one yet.
Marriage isn't obsolete , but it is dated... Yet its a good way to let others know that you have committed to each other! I live in The Netherlands, we also have registered partnership (a less formal but basically the same), yet i would argue that if 2 people are serious and have the strength to be loyal... it would not matter. They would still be as good off as any married couple. Hell i knew some old gay couple well into their 70's when it became legal that had no issue with such a commitment without a contract or legal repercussions. So in the end its just a way of saying you mean it , yet the test remains the same.
I believe in marriage as an institution but high divorce rates indicate that it's members treat each other as disposable. Whether it's no fault or a fault based system for divorce, the end usually becomes more bitter and acrimonious than what caused the divorce to be initiated in the first place. I don't see the Russian Roulette odds as worth it.
Marriage isn’t obsolete — it’s evolved. It offers legal security, emotional commitment, and cultural meaning for many, but it’s not necessary for everyone. What matters is choosing what aligns with your values, whether that’s marriage, partnership, or solo freedom. 💍🔓
It does have it's place but only after 30's for men in my understanding and after 50's for women or even later.
Just for the company and helping eachother in certain things.
I think like it's for the people who wants to be life partner with a commitment but that puts a lot of effort on one gender (mostly on the women ) cause they are expected to do house chores and keep her hobbies alive with satisfying husband and his family.
Women have to give up her whole identity to keep going.
And men have to add just one more responsibility of keeping food and stuff in the house.
No. Such thinking is obsolete.
It's like asserting that we no longer need traffic laws and penalties as "safer cars, and driving tests" now exist.
You just don't understand the concept and institution of marriage, and have fell for the okey doke.
Marriage has valid reasons to exist but it is not viable when 50% of brides decide to cash out at 8 years. By a decade about 60% have cashed out. After two decades 30% of the wives in surviving marriages decide to cash out.
Maybe 30% go the full contract period of till death do us part.
You are loser mug if you marry a woman.
@EmmaMary @EmmaMary Gov't statistics across the anglosphere of course.
There are fairly good statistics on marriage and cash out/divorce in most Western countries. So ultimately the statistics are an accumulation of marriage and divorce rates and are very strong facts rather than a 'load of fucking Bollox'.
The only problem is that marriage lengths can be represented in different ways. There are a lot of 30 or 40 or 50 and even longer marriage that distort averages. You need to use median.
What we would like to know is the percentage of divorces after 1, 2, 5, 10 15, 20 etc years of marriage and who initiated. Instead we get figures of 30% of 20 year marriages are ended in divorce.
So all you can do is to reason is if 60% of marriages end at 10 years that leaves 40% continuing to the empty nest phase at approx 20. years. 30% of divorces out of 40% at that point means about 30% survive and 70% end in divorce by 20 years. Couples seem to be highly unlikely to divorce after they have 30 or more years on the clock.
Whether it is husband or wife initiated divorce is of interest. We categorically know that 70% of unilateral no fault divorces are initiated by wives and only 10% by men but 20% are joint applications. We need to consider cheating as a form of divorce since most couples separate subsequently. Probably the 20% joint divorces are the cheated partner and cheating partner divorcing each others ass in mutual vitriol.
So you can reasonably say 80% of wives initiate divorce at 8 years of marriage.
There are statistics and interpretation of statistics always.
I'm a nurse. I can absolutely tell you that you definitely will NEED family by your side once you reach an age where you are old, sick, in pain and can't get out of bed. Nurses will come in and out of your home taking care of you. But nobody will ever truly give a shit about you and you WILL feel it.
Your parents will be dead by then. Your siblings will likely be married and too preoccupied with their own families to care to even care to check up on you.
I promise that if you don't have a spouse or children to care about you in your elderly years, you are in for a very emotionally painful death.
Your days having hot sex and going on sexy dates are numbered. At some point in life, you will find yourself in a lot of pain, can't do anything for yourself, and nobody gives a crap about you.
It’s not exactly required for survival, but it has very valid reasons to exist for those who want a lifelong relationship. The reason it’s not as common as it once was is that too many people today are either too scared of commitment or straight up too lazy for it. Marriage seen as obsolete by some due to society becoming increasingly messed up with less and less people understanding what true love is. I personally love everything marriage stands for.
Marriage will always be a must and very important, plus it's a sacred bond but in this generation it means nothing because men and women rarely have any morals or values or even faith, plus they live a marital life without being married!
Marriage is wonderful only if the couple knows what it means and if they work by it's sacred rules!
Marriage will always be valid for existing. It is still the strongest declaration of commitment. Just because their are fewer people who are valid enough for marriage bow does not invalidate marriage itself.
I'm almost 54, I will probably not get remarried. I'll keep dating and if I find that someone special, we may live together but I'll never remarry. I'll be upfront about it too, if she is dead set on getting married, I'll be out. Just how I feel.
Now that life expectancy has increased so dramatically, how can you swear that your relationship will last a lifetime? But I'd still like to get married 🤣
Yes. It's the strongest commitment you can make. Of course, both partners will argue over little things, there can be mayor crises, but I think it's a stimulus to make the extra effort to keep the relationship on track.
I don't know but it might be. People know too much now to just go along like they did in the past. Before, people let their religious beliefs and instincts guide them. But, it was a savage and backward world.
Marriage is not for everyone. It can be a good thing for people that are willing to see it not as the answer to all their problems but instead it is a partnership that comes with a lot of responsibilities.
All marriage is, is a way for women and courts to abuse and steal from men. I don't see any women trying to get laws changed that are unfair to men because MOST women are abusive thieves.
Get rid of the contract of marriage, so if people want to declare their love for one another and wear the rings so people know they're taken, that's understandable. But why have a binding contract? That's when divorce gets messy
Marriage is rare to me because for what reason to do it but for God? Is that why these people do it?
Potentially
Arnold in Terminator 3 said "desire is relevant - I am, a machine!" Emphasis lol 😂 🤖 😆 😆 🤖
@thegreenyogi it's like 2003/2004 never left - that mentality lol 😆 🤖🤖
@thegreenyogi "is irrelevant* - typo ✖️
Marriage is still alive and going, as I see people getting engaged all the time, however, no, marriage, is simply, not needed.
The law doesn't need to tell you "you're in love". Why do you need that in your life?
The problem is that we've intertwined laws with marriage. As a religious ritual, it's only important for religious reasons. If we don't make marriage have legal components, I think there will be fewer.
I m very happily married but I dont really see whats the need of marriage anyway coz everything u do after marriage is same as u did before
It's a legal contract which has advantages and disadvantages.
secular marriage is absolutely useless especially with the state involved and marriage without children is even more useless
I don't think marriage is obsolete, it is not just for everyone, I have been married for 37 years to the same woman. Dennis
Not obsolete but in need of revamping & expansion of what "marriage" is & for
If you are religious it makes sense. I don't think it makes sense to the non religious.
Marriage is an outdated concept. It was invented to form a shelter for children and women.
It is not so much obsolete as it is downright dangerous - for men.
It’s always been the ultimate commitment since creation and nothing has changed
In America it is obsolete. We are month's away from sex robots and artificial whombs. Even before that we are marrying east assigns instead.
Definitely not. Marriage has never been more important than right now. However most people are simply too selfish and self absorbed for it.
I'm not living without it. Perfectly happy.
I think it is crucial.
Nope. people still get married
No, I think there are valid reasons for marriage.
Obsolete
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