How did older generation marriages last longer?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

By deciding divorce wasn’t even an option. Lost feelings? Whatever, you stay anyway. Fighting all the time? Oh well, avoid each other? The marriages is boring and unsatisfying? Doesn’t matter. They cheated? Tough shit get over it. They were assholes, drunks and even abusive? Survive. No matter what though, you stick together. Divorce was shameful and just not something you did. It was reserved for extreme circumstance or the few ones who didn’t care about what god and society thought. Many marriages were extremely bad or toxic but people stayed anyway, as they were expected to. There was also less focus on ”me, me, me”. Family meant something. Marriage meant something. Peoples true intent was until death do us part - not ”until I’m bored of you or fall for someone else” which is more the case today. People had the ability to actually commit to something lifelong. People nowadays are too selfish to ever be able to do. Not saying one should stay with someone who abuses you or cheats on you, but people just leave too easily nowadays. Even entering relationships with the thought ”well we can always breakup if it doesn’t work out”. That is if they even commit at all. So many people nowadays are afraid of commitment, being ”tied down” or be involved with anything at all that means they can’t do whatever they want whenever they want. It’s for that same reason people aren’t having kids anymore. They’ve been raised to believe the only thing that matters is themselves, their feelings and whatever they want to do today. Never rely on anyone else, including a partner or family.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

I feel.. Marriages used to last longer because our elders took their vows seriously. They were patient, committed, and didn’t rush into things. Nowadays, many people lack that patience and sometimes mistake physical attraction or chemistry for true love. Once the honeymoon phase ends, they realise that they don’t share the same values or life goals. On top of that, social media has made cheating more common and easy, which also contributes to shorter marriages. Many people also take partner for granted these days.

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

The divorce rate skyrocketed when no-fault divorce became legal (mostly in the early 70s). Before that, there were limited reasons a divorce was granted. In other words, you COULDN'T get divorced except for a limited number of reasons.

However, much of the surge when no-fault started was due to "pent up" divorce. Couples who wanted to get divorced before that couldn't. So there was a surge when it became legal. After that initial surge, it slowed down.

Divorce peaked in the first ten years of no-fault divorce. It has been dropping ever since.

There are other reasons, including more acceptance of divorce instead of a stigma being attached to it. When society accepts divorce (or anything else), people are more likely to do it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

By not listening to these feminist nazis telling women they can be just like men. They can be boss bitches. They can do everything a man can. They had respect for each other. They had their specific gender roles, believed in Christ. These days a lot of women are be indoctrinated to not want marriage, to not want kids. To believe that somehow being a wife is basically a slave, a servant. Women are being told no you can wait till you’re older to find someone. But in reality it doesn’t really work that way. That’s not to say that there aren’t some exceptions to the rule. Now a lot of women as they get older are starting to think they were lied to by feminism.

HawkPerception · Answer

They took their vows seriously for starters. Back a LONG time ago, promises were serious things and "oath breakers" were killed. I'm actually not against that, because nowadays no one really keeps their word. They just see them as words.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not against divorce in the case of cheating. But otherwise, if you've made your vows, it should be illegal to just leave whenever you feel like it. If the spark you once felt is gone, you should work on it, rather than give up entirely.

And yes, there are some marriages where it doesn't matter how much work you put in. Nothing changes and you remain miserable. Those should also be okay to divorce in.

All I'm saying is, there should be more weight to vows.

Social media is also another huge factor. Back in the day without phones or the internet, the only way people could communicate with others was to see each other in person. There was only one other guy fighting to get with a girl from a city away. So communicating with someone was much more meaningful and connections were much deeper.

Nowadays, girls are given attention everywhere at their fingertips. It gives them shiny object syndrome. If they don't feel a spark with their partner, they think "Oh well. I have tons of guys lined up and many are probably better than this one."

ohsheeT · Answer

Back then love was real love a dee I er understanding of love young boys were being drafted to go to war they would ask a girl to marry and she would say yes . he would grab his girl both scared to death but all they had was each other
They had a deeper meaning of God
It's when things were built to last mem were men and they took pride in every thing they did.
There was a much connection and they went though a lot together

Now days every thing built is throw away and get something new it's the same with people

Back then you had the truth today you have manipulation and lies. Is what relationship are based on its sad

But I think people are getting smarter people see the 2 paths that we are going down. And we are going to have to make a choice very soon

The truths about who we really are and God
And we will become who we were meant to be

Or kids that are born now automatically get a chip put in their head.
To become more. Ai like
It will destroy human race as we know it so I think there are going to be other things going on that you're gonna have to depend on each other again and have each other's backs

AviatorTom · Answer

In times past, the couple were taught that marriage is a partnership that lasts for life, not like today, where it's considered a competition, and only until you want it. Further, divorce was not an option, difficult if not impossible to obtain. Henry VIII had to start a new church to get divorced from his wife Catherine.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Older people assumed that marriage was forever, they did not expect every day to be idyllic, and they remained together and worked on problems together. They did not have a disposable attitude towards marriage.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because they didn’t have cell phones with internet technology/ social media

RavVid · Answer

Women initiate on a child cycle and are apt to think the grass is greener.

What we see in stats is that divorce doesn't happen in 30 yo marriages. At a minimum the husband and wife will be 50 yo but could be 60 and close to retirement. Probably they both recognize divorce would be harmful and they can't recover from the harm they will self inflict.

With 20 yo marriages, 1/3 end in divorce. they could be as young as 40 with scope for a better life without their ball n chain. The children are now adults and can look after themselves. So wives want to go "find" themselves.

The median length is now 8 years. This corresponds very closely to the time it takes to pop out two kiddies and get both into primary/elementary school. Since there is inherent child minding provided by schools, the father (husband) becomes less useful to the mother (wife).

So the wife can go "find" herself at about 8 years when the youngest child gets into school.

I think this is excessively ME ME ME by those wives because it takes away a present father from the children. There a lot of areas where tough fatherly love leads to better outcome for the children. Mother only children are more likely to go to jail and do drugs as one notable result but there are many other areas.

In short I think we can attribute that younger women are excessively selfish and Me oriented. Often to the detriment of their children.

RingOfFire · Answer

Older generation marriages last longer because their heads weren't filled with this new-age woke fantasy garbage that is now drummed into the heads of the younger generations in schools and propagandized 24/7/365 in the Democrat left controlled woke media. The woke left has taken over all the critical cultural functions in America and used them to create ignorant, uninformed citizens who think men can be women and women can be men. It's LUNACY! And it results in confused adults who have bizarre views of what it means to have a strong normal family unit as nature designed us for.

Older generations understand (and CELEBRATE) that men and women are NOT the same and have different roles in a family that don't come from some rainbows and unicorns fantasy but from nature and millions of years of evolution that made men and women physiologically and mentally different so that they could form real relationships and have the strongest possible family unit that they were designed for.

Anonymous · Answer

Society was formally sculpted around the sanctity of marriage and family. I mean women literally did not go to college because "their life's goal," was to get married and pesky college would just get in the way of getting married and starting a family. Along with this focus on marriage, came a society who strove to fiercely protect the idea of marriage and family. Life was cheaper. One could provide with one income. A couple wasn't stressed and working for 20 years before they could even get into a home together. These are huge deals.

As much as people love to idolize this time period in America, it wasn't without fault. There were a lot of couples that needed to get divorced. There were little protections for women if they were say in an abusive marriage or the husband cheated or hell, the wife cheated. You just had to stay because society ESPECIALLY did not look favorably on a divorced woman.

Then cut to along came the internet and cell phones and people could pick and choose people that lived no where near them, and cheating became easier to do, and we became a swipe right society as soon as anything didn't work out. S*xual revolution led to far more freedoms, and almost a celebration of ONS culture.

So now with little protections in place for a family structure, financial strains, internet/phone culture, marriage as they used to know it is long dead.

AvaRay · Answer

Simple answer , cause back then, love wasn’t treated like a trend, it was a commitment..

People didn’t just stay cause it was easy, they stayed cause they chose to, even when it was hard..

They understood that marriage wasn’t about constant excitement, but about constant effort..

They built foundations, not fantasies..

Back then, when things broke, people fixed them, they didn’t just replace them..

Loyalty wasn’t negotiable, communication wasn’t optional, n patience wasn’t seen as weakness..

Love was less about instant gratification,
n more about growing together through seasons not moments..

Shehnaz · Answer

Each person remembered his or her role/ marriages were not entered into for monetary benefits and materialistic things in mind, beautiful mind and heart mattered more than beautiful body. Mannerisms were of utmost importance and behaviour was the topmost priority. Generations old advices were followed rather than I can handle it myself attitude. Commitment and freedom are factually the opposite of each other. You don't enter a union to live for yourself but for the two of you. And when you want to play games and add drama to it you get a recipe for a separation.

dwreborn · Answer

I think a lot of it has to do with women's rights, now women feel like they aren't stuck in a marriage because of fear of survival, they have more opportunities now then in the past so leaving a bad marriage is a lot more common. I think its great that the world is more even, but everyone please if your marriage can be saved, as long as its not abusive, then please try we as a society do not want to ruin the meaning of marriage all the vows we take actually mean something. I believe in marriage and everything that goes with it, dont take the easy road out fight for who you married in the first place.

jshm2 · Answer

More sex (they weren't called "boomers" for nothing)

More welfare (yes they got a lot of shit for free or close to it)

More killing and exploiting (yes they sent their nutters abroad more often to kill, rape and pillage for "the West" so they would do it less at home)

Less domestic abuse laws (most of those marriages were abusive and women had no rights to property or divorce)

and more urban development so houses, roads and infrastructure was built by slaves and immigrants - so they could stay at home and make more babies.

So it's not all sunshine and rainbows that was the reason for those "marriages" lasting longer.

AgentG111 · Answer

Simple they didn't have all the BS issues like we do now. They weren't going to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing there was an issue or problems. Or the male died in war or work accident, she remarried or loved alone without him.

Also if things weren't working out at home between them they took care of things and went about their lives without having to blast it all over or bring it to the worlds attention!

Hell there are seriously lots of songs that are about men and women out fucking around and as long as they come home and take care of the things they said they would no worries.

Humans having sex is beyond old, humans having sex with each other and others in or out of marriage is just as old.

Life's short live it up.

purplepoppy · Answer

Longer isn't always a good thing. Many of these women suffered terribly under abusive husbands by stayed with them because society preached that not having a husband was shameful. Those that did try and leave were often pushed back by councillors with an "any husband is better than no husband attitude."

katiesmuff · Answer

They didn't have it as easy as things have been since post WW 2 which created a special bond when two got married. They truly were in love and spent their time together. They didn't have TV like we have now with all the crap that is aired, thank goodness they had no social media, smart phones etc to wipe your brain out as we have today.

Anonymous · Answer

Today it's the illusion of choice.

Back in the day people seldom ventured farther than 50 from the place they were born. Which means your options were pretty much in that 50 mile radius. Now people can talk to someone on the other side of the planet in a split second. It gives people the ILLUSION that thier potential matches are... uhm planet earth.😂 Problem is, there are realistically numerous factors that make your matching unlikely if not near impossible. This causes people to keep searching those billions of people thinking they're going to find the perfect match. Not realizing that in reality, the perfect match doesn't exist. And what makes a personmatch with you is simply the right attitude and the effort they put forth. Older generations were simply a lot more practical.

aceleon · Answer

divorce was a big deal so they had to work about their problems or suck it up instead of running away from them.

old generations didn't blurr the waters, they didn't bother with introspection or such things, they went with their daily lives like their work or kids or such things in general, they didn't had the time or energy to dwell on cracks in their relationships.

Zack-Bann · Answer

That’s like asking why more people today get plastic surgery.

Because they can.

It wasn’t readily available before so they didn’t feel they needed it

But now people get divorced just to “see what it’s like”

It’s downright psychotic

OneViewpoint · Answer

It's not rocket science... Fewer choices in selecting a mate (social media and general wealth) More modest expectations More social stigma about divorce = more tolerance for cheating Women had fewer options regarding sexual and physical abuse More willingness to compromise and accept a less than perfect marriage.

NoDecision · Answer

Because back then you married for family, a home with kids, and a future together. Now days it is for sex, money, and fooling around. Ever wonder why there are more divorces than marriages these days? Marriage isn't what it was cracked up to be anymore.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Because they understood the higher purpose and mission of marriage. They were more decisive and selective and they didn't just give up and walk away when things got tough. They worked through it. They also got married younger, so they weren't as set in their ways.

Someone34 · Answer

Several answers, harder to get divorced, it was frowned upon. People also had better values, werent addicted to social media which I think is a big reason for breakups. People care so much about themselves that forgot to care about others. This would clearly affect peoples relationships aswell. I dont see why it wouldn't.

HighValue · Answer

Generations before Gen X weren't as morally corrupt, greedy, selfish, and into social media. Though many people absolutely hate the truth, it is mostly the moral corruption of women that has ruined so many relationships and it will continue to do so as long as they deny it and refuse to make any changes. Many women from Gen X and Millennials encourage immoral behavior by other women.

SeekerOfTruth007 · Answer

Massive divorce numbers are a relatively recent thing spawned mostly by "women's suffrage" movement. Before suffrage, the divorce rate was only around 3% or so. Now it sometimes reaches 75%.

The short answer is "Women don't know what's good for themselves" and getting the power to vote only made their lives and men's lives worse.

virgo2267 · Answer

They had solid influence from their own parents. The parents had a much more firm grip on the way their children were raised and didn’t allow outsiders to take over their parenting values away. Their focus was on growth and keeping their families together…

nowadays all we see is people destroying one another, and kids taking lives or becoming addicts to social media and it’s stupidity. It’s safe to say the world is going to shit from here on… don’t even get me started on AI..

Zionne · Answer

A lot of older marriages lasted because divorce carried heavy stigma and people were raised to “push through” problems rather than leave. Many also accepted traditional roles and sacrificed personal happiness for stability, which isn’t always the same as a healthy relationship. Today, people value emotional fulfillment more, so they’re less likely to stay just to stay.

oswaldcobblepot · Answer

I think online dating has made it easier for women and harder for men to get a date

I think older generations... the women were focused on finding a partner/husband... a man with substance over flash

I have a female friend who dated several guys I knew but wasn't friends with. None of those relationships worked out. She told me they were all d*ouche bags. To myself I thought Im not a woman but even I knew they were d*ouche bags.

genericname85 · Answer

"if you divorce you go to hell". that's how. less and less people follow religious doctrin. and that's a good thing. cause marriage duration and marital satisfaction don't necessarily corelate. what good is having a long lasting marriage of utter unhappiness?

Anonymous · Answer

Men went to work and the wives stayed home so men got to have sex with a lot of different women at the office or when they were out for drinks or whatever. I would bet a lot of the wives were having sex with the UPS drivers or appliance repairmen. So the same as today, except everyone kept quiet about it and everyone was happy.

Anonymous · Answer

older generations weren't indoctrinated with feminist propaganda at an early age

Millennials and Zoomers had feminist propaganda browbeaten into them in school by "correcting" the behavior of boys to be morphed into good little feminists while at the same boosting the egos of girls to eventually treat men as disposable

Kelley1 · Answer

Women were not paid to divorce their husbands. If the husband left, a woman could not support her children. Collecting child support was iffy.

avery58 · Answer

Hey has more values, integrity, and commitment. Also they tried to make it work instead of walking out at the first minor inconvenience, or losing the emotional "spark", like some people do nowadays.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

People truly committed to each other and didn't let arguments and other situations loosen their marital bonds.(My parents were married 53 years, my Uncle Ronald and Aunt Francine for 55, Jimmy and Roslyn Carter for SEVENTY-SEVEN. H**l, even Bill and Hillary celebrated their golden [fiftieth] anniversary Oct.11;they wed the day "Saturday Night Live" {then "Live Saturday Night} debuted on NBC.)

jazzy34 · Answer

Don't be fooled. Just because people remained married for decades doesn't mean they were faithful to their spouse. Back then, being married (especially by a certain age) was expected and the "thing to do."

exitseven · Answer

People were more mature at a much younger age. They entered into marriage with the expectation that it would be forever.

Todsy people look at marriage as just another relationship. A divorce is no big deal.

Nikki1989 · Answer

What @purplepoppy said. I was about to say the same thing. Men are just butthurt now because they can't get away with abuse like they did decades ago.

itsannalee · Answer

Because they don’t have too much options, and younger generations now think they get a lot options to just easily move on instead of solve the problems.

beenherebefore · Answer

Divorce was not an option. People used to take marriages and commitment way more serious. Also when divorce became an option it was still a shame for many years to get divorced.

slatyb · Answer

The women were trapped -- they couldn't support themselves, so they stayed whether they wanted to or not.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

They didn’t have the internet and these fucking phones to stare into, 24/7.

Anonymous · Answer

Because women back then had a sense of commitment and took their marriage vows seriously. Not so much anymore. That's why half of marriages end in divorce now and women initiate 80% of them.

Justneedtokno · Answer

They were more trusting, plus they some marry of obligation, to escape, pregnancy to legitimize their children. Lastly some do actually find love.

loveyouoak · Answer

I think marriages lasted longer back then because people were more patient and tolerant, and divorce just wasn't as common.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

It was a smaller world. No internet, no social media. Less opportunity to meet others

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Most likely because they bult their relationship on love and not just sex.

Iron_Man · Answer

You had true love back then not selfishness they were team players back in the day. Now everybody’s looking out for number 1

Staximus · Answer

By communicating, compromising, and accommodating. Also not treating people like they are disposable.

Smegskull · Answer

Need. Until quite recently surviving on your own, without a partner and family support was pretty much impossible. When the welfare state collapses so will the divorce rate.

Sebastian100 · Answer

Hey are more committed, loyal and communicate whenever possible. Today's general most wants to hookup and not take the responsibility that comes with relationships.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Because women had no rights and had to stay in violent or dead marriages

Anonymous · Answer

It's really simple, older generations understand what it means to work to make a marriage work. Younger generations treat marriage like something you wipe your ass with and flush down the toilet.

Alex-Snow · Answer

No social media and less distractions so they could focus on each other

blackeagle007 · Answer

My guess is married couples communicated if problems arouse instead of one fight and incoming divorce papers

dougeats · Answer

Because they understand the commitment being made

noohair · Answer

There was a sense of obligation to the marriage

Twalli · Answer

Women weren't able to live independently. So, there was a reason for them to stay married.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

Our culture didn't focus on creating narcissists.

RedWine9 · Answer

Probably didn't have social media, and I guess some people could hide their affairs.

Anonymous · Answer

They were more moral, and usually more loyal.

Anonymous · Answer

They were more interested in personality than looks.

How did older generation marriages last longer?

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