What is the value of a big, white wedding?

[MissSunshine2]

I respect the tradition and brides wanting a hen’s night, bridesmaids, a big, white dress and veil, an expensive diamond ring and a really formal, huge wedding with hundreds of guests in a huge church and a catered event for lunch or dinner, with a huge honeymoon; but I don’t want one myself if I get married. I’d prefer a simple, garden wedding, in smart casual clothes and lunch or dinner at a nice, but not overly expensive restaurant. The thought of formality terrifies me.

I’d like a nice ring and a good, but not too expensive, honeymoon, but besides that, nothing else really matters. Please don’t think I’m trying to belittle what is for many, a cherished and sacred tradition. I’m genuinely curious as to why it’s important to most people. Without judgment.

[OlderAndWiser]

IN April, 2024, I had a church wedding with 150 guests, string quartet, choir singing, reception at the country club with live band, honeymoon in a beachfront condo on Hilton Head Island. I guess that qualifies as the big wedding. I wanted a memorable experience since my wife's family came from China for the event. I wanted to celebrate my marriage with all of my family, friends, and acquaintances because I am proud of my wife. I wanted us to make our mutual promises publicly, and then I wanted us to have a getaway that would be relaxing and fun. Mission accomplished.

[ohsheeT]

It's starts out as a little girls dream I think most girl at a early age dream of that day

At least most of the girls that I know\n And the guy he just wants to make her happy, so he goes along with it, and that's where it should be.

And that's when he better have a big big wallet, because you're right. It costs lots of money.\nThat it's a moment of time that you will never get back

And in today's world as many divorces , there are you would think that they would just go see elvis in vegas

[DishLady]

Weddings are just supposed to be a celebration of two amazing people combining their life paths and promising to share the rest of their lives with one another.

Typically WHITE symbolizes virginity (which is lost on most women in today's world... and if you see what passes for a wedding dress, modesty and virginity are also not a priority for the hoochie stylists).

Typically the weddings are BIG bc the whole village shows up to celebrate you. Your family, your partner's family, friends and well-wishers all convene as supportive witnesses to your happiness. (This is now also lost to bougie concerns about looking good and having obnoxiously expensive and gaudy affairs rather than authentically spiritual experiences.)

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I worked in the wedding industry for a while and after seeing probbably over a hundred. I've come to the realization that if you can afford an extra agent wedding, yes it makes sense. But you shouldn't go into crazy debt putting on elaborate celebrations. Especially if you're not the partying type.

I've seen so many people put on 150k weddings they obviously couldn't afford and a lot of the time the energy isn't the same as when people can afford it or when people get something simple.

What makes it romantic is that it works. For some families, that's the parents chipping in, for some that's the husband and wife working together. The tradition I think is really working as a family to do the most with what's available. Trusting and appreciating eachothers effort.

You can easily tell the difference when the toasts happen. And it's those cases where a 60k wedding at a hotel on particle board tables is comparable with a 300k wedding at an expensive country club.

You don't need to spend a lot to have impressive decorations or entertainment... OK maybe you do but not like how the websites and planners want you to think. And whatever fits your budget will probably be more memorable anyway.

I think you're better off getting eachother nice rings and taking some money to go traveling or something. Or to buy a professionally outfitted offroading rig for romantic mudding adventures.

[OneViewpoint]

The best wedding I ever attended was an event on a beach at the home of the brides relatives who offered up the location for the event. It wasn't a seaside mansion. It was a solid blue collar area where the homes had been in families for generations. The ceremony was outdoors on the beach with everyone standing. The reception was a clambake under a tent on the beach. Steamed clams, boiled lobster, coleslaw, clam chowder, fries and onion rings. Maybe 100 people total. People wore jacket and tie / dresses for the ceremony, then immediately changed into shorts and t-shirts for the reception. Half the people were in and out of the water during dinner. Neighbors wandered by and shouted congratulations. No destination wedding bullshit. No themed attire. No fucking bridezilla. Just easy and fun for everyone to celebrate with genuine friends. 100% of the event was spent having a good time.

[molonski2]

There is absolutely NO value in it , and many of these people don't have a house ! I'm obviously much older but if I were getting married again , we select a nice ring together , we keep all simple we don't mention the word wedding to venues , we keep it light , bright , simple and cheap.
Also I did this first time , and I actually made money selling the dress , she arrived in a flash Rolls ( some one else paid for that ) and we had a big BBQ and a lot of booze and it was great fun.
With the ring ( and everyone still comments on her ring ) I played golf with an extremely gifted jewelry creator , she picked a style from. a chain jewelry place , I got my mate to make a fit same with a much BETTER diamond , and the cost was 1/3 of the chain store for a better outcome.

[BCRanger10]

My dad has always said "A wedding is a day, but marriage is for life." So in one sense, wanting a simpler and smaller wedding is certainly understandable. However, at the same time, you don't want it to be "just another day". Yes, a wedding is just a day, but it's the biggest day of your life. Whether you see it as a religious occasion or not, your life as you knew it is over. It's not your own anymore, it's not about you anymore. You're giving yourself to your husband and he to you. More than that, you're not only building a life with another person, you're going to make another life, a new human life. You're building a family, a small society.

So while I don't particularly agree with going all out for one day (my wife and I only spent about $8,000 on our wedding), it's still the one day you will remember more than any other for the rest of your life. So yeah, make it a big day.

[Kelley1]

A big, moderately priced church wedding with dozens to a couple of hundred guests is fine. However, unless you are a celebrity, spending $tens of thousands to well past a $hundred or $hundreds of thousands for extravagant gowns, ice sculptures, an expensive venue, and performances by renowned artists is, in my opinion, foolish.

[AMS700CX4u2]

My wife and I did not want one, but her family was going to put on the Dog, Engraved invitations and the whole nine yards. We wanted a simple ceremony in the prayer chapel with immediate family only. I don't think there was any value to it other than appeasing her sisters.

[BonzoInBitburg]

The more expensive the ring and wedding is, the more likely it will end in divorce

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/the-myths-of-sex/202402/the-bigger-the-bling-the-shorter-the-marriage

[jshm2]

It is not done for the fuck of it. But kids these days know more about stupid shit like Stranger things and Pokemon, than they do human values and traditions.

The purpose of a wedding, regardless of religion, is to bring two families together and make alliances and introductions. The "show" side of things is to demonstrate wealth and trust, after all if you're only doing a "courthouse" wedding then it means you've not got much trust or much to spend.

[slatyb]

I don't see it. The whole point is to gather with the people who care about you, and to bring the familiies together. There's no need to speed tens of thousands of dollars on this. If I were single, I would tell my dates straight up "If you want the engagement ring and the kneeling proposal and a church wedding, that ain't me babe."

[Anonymous]

im going to remind you that if a man cannot afford to provide a decent wedding, there is no way in hell he will be able to raise kids.

Good luck standing all day at your job while heavily pregnant.

[MissSunshine2]

I don’t want kids, so trust me, that’ll never happen.

[Opinion Owner]

most men want kids.

[MissSunshine2]

Not all men and I’m more interested in what I want.

[Opinion Owner]

you have a limited dating pool then

[MissSunshine2]

So you say 😊

[Batsy01010101]

Hate to burst your bubble miss delusional but these days it takes two people working with multiple income streams not just the guy working while you sit on your ass using the excuse of you being knocked up

[Batsy01010101]

You really got a lot of growing up to do with your delusional mindset

[Opinion Owner]

@Batsy01010101

of course she needs to sit on her ass... who the hell is gonna raise the kid if both parents are working? hand it off to your child molester at the daycare?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Some people enjoy grand gestures and formality makes them feel important. You are kind of belittling it even if that’s not your intention.

[MissSunshine2]

In my view, I’m asking what makes it important and explaining my own opinion of white weddings.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

And I said, despite your intentions, that’s not what you’re doing.

[Nikki1989]

Our outdoor wedding cost us almost nothing. We even had a live band that played for free. Food and drinks were BYO.

[MissSunshine2]

To me, that's the perfect way to have a wedding.

[Nikki1989]

It was an amazing day.

[Iron_Man]

That wedding style fashion was popular for a long time and a lot more affordable nowadays things are skyrocket high I’ve been to many of those style of weddings. I think today you’re looking over $100,000 just for a halfway decent wedding and most people can’t afford that nowadays. I think it’s just quick and simple isn’t it?

[exitseven]

You get to show all your friends how rich your parents have. The parents get to pay double for everything just because it has the word "wedding " tacked on to it.

[MrChinaski]

Your plans sound exactly like my wedding. It was ideal. Yes, rings were important to us too... they last a lot longer than bridesmaids. I wish you well.

[Hagar88]

Its a celebration bound in the house of God with all family and friends to celebrate and bear witness.

[Unycorn]

As religion:

You need to believe in the value.

[permanentem]

There's no value in it. It's just an ego trip for narcissists.

[RavVid]

It is probably the biggest all-about-me event a woman can demand.

[Rangers]

Oh, you're really speaking my language here.

I'd be overwhelmed by a big wedding

[LiamJHayden]

Spending lots of money that could go towards a down payment on a house.

[qwerty2469]

No value. It's the price of a future gone up in one night most people will be too drunk to remember

[jahaims]

Just a waste of money

[SUMAIREBRAHIM]

Socioeconomic status that's it n big gathering

[Agape93]

Nothing inherently

[beefcakebradybatson]

It chases away N******* !!!