Arranged marriage in modern time are much different compared to olden days in India, and in most part of the world. In olden days – say even before 50 years. In olden days fiancée – engaged girl was invited by her parents in law on almost all social and family functions to join them. This was partially a period of courtship and training to adjust with her new family. Girl and guy engaged were allowed to meet each other in presence of some family members – and for few moments in privet. This was helpful in building emotional bonding and adjusting with new family. Most of the marriages were everlasting. This tradition is still in good shape in our society and culture. Belief that in arranged marriages, love often blossoms over time through a building mindset, mutual respect, and shared experiences to develop deep affection, trust, and intimacy organically is not true for everybody. Love typically was growing in arranged marriage between period of engagement and marriage - as it was typically about a year or more. Now mobile and internet communication has made it even easy to understand each other to develop strong feelings of belongingness and love. Partners navigate new lives, share responsibilities, and find love in daily moments of romance. Intentional efforts and time they spend talking with each other is allowing romantic feelings to grow as they get to know each other. Discussions about pleasures of togetherness, managing a home, and sharing responsibilities raises and companionship, which automatically turns into love. Similar cultural, social, and personal backgrounds and familiarity of families help couples bond more quickly, providing a common foundation of traditions for intimacy.
arrange marriages are not always about love. Historically for thousands of years, love had nothing to do with marriage until the recent past 60 years.
For thousands of years, marriage had to do with survival, family, children. It wasn't about passionate making out or romance or hot sex. People saw being a spouse as a job... to take care of the family, to provide for the family, to have children. Back then life was difficult, people needed help and each other to survive.
Nowadays, marriage is all about fickle feelings that can change any moment, all about sex, once that passionate fizzles out, the marriage is gone.
this is why arrange marriages tend to be more stable and long lasting compared to romance marriages. Romance can change at any moment for any reason.
For me the first thing I would do is look in to her eyes and ask her the first question
Are you ok with this. is this what you really want if she says yes its what I want. Then I would say ok good its what I want to and then I would take her hand and start walking and start talking , just so we get to know each other better , I would stop face her , I would say , I want to feel your energy i want to feel your aura
Look each other deep in the eyes. And then I would kiss her very, very slow inside. I would want to pull her into my body. So she can feel what it feels like and I want to feel what she feels like. And then we would start walking again and explain if we're going to make it work. We have to know each other very well so we are on the same page. Both want the same things. It would take a little bit of time but it could work out good
I just recently got engaged in an arranged marriage setup. I’d say that it’s the same as any other relationship, but there’s a fixed date for a marriage within a year or two, if the couple do decide to pursue it. Other than that, there’s filtering for the prospective partners and their families to be of the same background (religion, caste, etc).
My arranged wife-to-be and I talk on the phone on a daily basis, so I guess the couple starts loving each other in the same way as any other scenario: by talking and getting to know one another.
Do you mean an arranged marriage, like where the parents of the guy and girl have reached an agreement to marry their son and daughter? Is this really something of our times?
Yes, some cultures allow it or it is the norm. I honestly don't know. I'm too romantic to even consider such a situation. Without mutual attraction, is sex even considered a pleasure?
Every marriage is technically an arranged marriage, where a common person introduced you both.
You're confused in thinking a married couple do not go through the same explorations.
Obviously "dating culture" has messed things up. As you now have people "marrying" after 4 years dating. Which is like test driving a used car for 4 years before deciding to buy it, and then wondering why it's now a shit drive.
Well they usually talk for a while before the actual marriage but the guy will just make sex happen because that is how they are.. Its like the first time you have sex with any guy. It most likely won't be the most comfortable situation..
Arranged marriages dont happen around me soo. thats it. We choose even people who show passion more than those who dont. A relationship should tell a beautiful story.
Home > Marriage & Weddings > Questions > How in arrange marriage couple start loving each other, how a girl prepare herself for love and same for a boy?
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