I'm engaged and in love with another girl.

[Anonymous]

I am in love with two women. I am engaged and love my fiance very much but I can't keep my ex girlfriend out of my mind. My ex isn't really my ex because in the year we were together I never really made it official. I was just in it for the sex and she wanted to be in a relationship. I met my fiance and dropped the other girl until I realized I couldn't stop thinking about her. I ended up cheating on my fiance with her to see how I felt about both of them and realized I love them both. I have made the decision that I want to be with the other girl but I don't know how to tell her because if I do then she will tell my fiance because she hates me right now. I have to be with her again I miss her but at the same time I can't leave my fiance and call off a wedding. What can I do?

[Seraphic]

You really should not have got engaged to your fiancé in the first place, let alone even be in a relationship with her. If you are engaged to a girl, it means you are for each other, in love, sex, commitment, intimacy, and --only-- each other. If you cannot stop thinking of your ex you should have kept this separately by not getting so serious with your current girlfriend. Mistakes are made now and here is what you could do, if I was in the same position:

The best most moral and decent thing you can do, even though it takes a lot of courage and decency (of which not many people have in these situations) is to tell your fianceé, right away, let her decide what she wants now, if she wants to finish with you after knowing this and you need to convince her you can change if you really want to go through with this engagement. Being engaged is a vow to honesty, you can't seriously love her if you're thinking of your ex like this$. If you don't want to take your engagement seriously, then end it. It's very unfair to do this to someone you vowed to be committed to, and I think she deserves importance in this.

As for the other girl, she is an ex, more so a sex fling as you explained and not that serious as your engagement, it doesn't sound like you love her either, it sounds like you lust her and are just exptremely attracted to her. If you want to be with your ex, go ahead, but your fianceé does not deserve to be played like this at all. This is the most righteous decision I think you can make at this time, you can either do this, or keep hurting people and stuck in this problem, your choice. The main question is, do you value being single and having the choice to have sex with whoever you like, or do you want to be married with the girl you love and lead a good future together? If this keeps going on you will end up with nothing eventually.

I hope this has helped.

[iloverain]

you must choose right away which of the two you want to spend your entire life with because you might just end up losing them both and you don't want that to happen. it would also be better if you just call off your wedding and think about it and also you must be honest with you're fiance if you really love her and if she really loves you, she might just understand. you know it must be better if you tell her the truth than her hearing it with the other girl.

the way I can see it, you like more the other girl which you misses or else you wouldn't be missin her like that or maybe just missed her because you're about to get married and you are afraid that it would only be one woman forever . about you fiance, you just felt responsible with you're fiance that's why you can't let it off because you already proposed to her. hey just my crazy idea

still, you must choose. right away

[Shlei3]

Um, yes you can leave your fiance and call off the wedding. It's the lesser of two evils. Either way you will be hurting someone. You already crossed the line when you decided to cheat on your fiance. I don't get it, why get engaged if you are torn like this? You owe it to your fiance to be honest, come clean and let her go. She didn't deserve to be cheated on if you truly loved her. I think you're more in love with the idea of love than the actual girls.

[Anonymous]

I think that you are in love with the sex between you and the ex, you don't really love eachother. Is the sex with your fiancee good but not fantastic?

You owe it to your fiance to either tell her first, or break it off with the ex immediately and forever!

I know that it is tempting to play the Game...(Tell the ex how you feel to see if she feels the same way. Then you can safely choose whether to break it off with the fiancee or try to keep them both going.) Eventually the Game ends up costing you both relationships.

[Anonymous]

call off the wedding.

you shouldn't be with either of these girls...you don't love either of them. if you did you wouldn't think you love both of them.