Well the going out is one issue and I have a good suggestion for that but as I keep reading it sounds like the issue is primarily money and you've tried a lot of things. Normally I would then suggest counselling but you said you've already done that. If you're thinking of leaving I'd spell out the non negotiable changes that have to happen or you leave, try the three major things. Give him maybe three months. BUT only do this if you're serious about leaving. It gives him a chance to change and a deadline but if the an empty threat that's just mean and if you don't enforce it be will never take you seriously again.
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marriage counselling, go for a small vacation - leave the kids with him - don't tell him - it'll teach him a lesson and when you come back tell him that'll be your response if he acts irresponsible again. I'm not married I can't offer great advice but ask your elders what they think. Try talking to his friends explain the situation - maybe they can show him where he is wrong. Don't give him any money you're encouraging him
I think what he needs is a proper intervention. Explain to his family and friends how this will inevitably affect the kids in the end and they'll probably be very motivated to help out. An ultimatum or "teaching him a lesson" wouldn't work nearly as well and could just as easily backfire. At least if this backfires you're not the only one to take it. Why should you be the only one responsible for fixing your husband?
OMG what you are telling is horrible! Since I'm not married I can't tell you what to do. The only thing I can tell you is don't leave him! Try harder and stay with him! My mother took me and my brother when we were little kids and left our father. I've seen in my mother how it is to raise alone 2 children!
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Stop giving him gas money to get to work. You're enabling. If he's unwilling to change, there's not much you can do. It's hard to force other people to do things they don't want to do.
Disappear one day and put your kids at your parent's house and let him you deserted him for good.
Even if this were true (which it's not) you would be a fool for always giving him "gas money" when you know he doesn't spend it on gas.
Stop giving him gas money or any money at all.
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