My birthday is this month and I've realized I've never had a birthday party, never had any friends round for my birthday, NO-ONE ever seems to make any effort on my birthday at all.
When I was little my parents would get me a present and stuff, but now I'm lucky if I'll even get a birthday cake.
Why am I apparently that unlikable?
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I'm not weird, I like to meet new people despite this I'm lucky if I ever have more than loose friends. No best friend for years, no-one who gives a flying f*** if I live or die.
I'm adopted as well so basically as well as not having any real god to honest friends who actually have my back, I feel like no matter what I do with my family I am still sort of an outsider. My parents love me (even though they've never arranged a b-day party for me) and I've tried to accept that they just don't do that sorta thing I dunno, but with my extended family, I always feel like I'm outside the happy family bubble. My mum will be with her sisters and her nephews and nieces and all of them will be there but I will be sort of on the edge. I try to be part of the family but it never feels like I'm let in.
Maybe it's just paranoia but I feel like at best tolerated because I'm only technically a part of the family.
I've finished my first year of uni and it was great to just meet new people but now I'm done for the summer, finding work is hard and I am feeling really isolated and lonely. No-one except for a few friends have contacted me...a few asked why I disappeared for a month but they have my number, they could have called me. But I am not an important friend so I guess it only occured to them I was gone when I bumped into them or talked on FB.
I feel like I have no-one and its making me feel really down. Haven't had a girlfriend for years and she was really clingy anyway so she probably had low self esteem anyway, no family, no friends, not even a f***in summer job to distract me from my pathetic isolation.
It's worse than being hated or bullied or any of that...at least it's some human attention...I'm simply neglected by people...
When I was little my parents would get me a present and stuff, but now I'm lucky if I'll even get a birthday cake.
Why am I apparently that unlikable?
==========[more rantish info]==============
I'm not weird, I like to meet new people despite this I'm lucky if I ever have more than loose friends. No best friend for years, no-one who gives a flying f*** if I live or die.
I'm adopted as well so basically as well as not having any real god to honest friends who actually have my back, I feel like no matter what I do with my family I am still sort of an outsider. My parents love me (even though they've never arranged a b-day party for me) and I've tried to accept that they just don't do that sorta thing I dunno, but with my extended family, I always feel like I'm outside the happy family bubble. My mum will be with her sisters and her nephews and nieces and all of them will be there but I will be sort of on the edge. I try to be part of the family but it never feels like I'm let in.
Maybe it's just paranoia but I feel like at best tolerated because I'm only technically a part of the family.
I've finished my first year of uni and it was great to just meet new people but now I'm done for the summer, finding work is hard and I am feeling really isolated and lonely. No-one except for a few friends have contacted me...a few asked why I disappeared for a month but they have my number, they could have called me. But I am not an important friend so I guess it only occured to them I was gone when I bumped into them or talked on FB.
I feel like I have no-one and its making me feel really down. Haven't had a girlfriend for years and she was really clingy anyway so she probably had low self esteem anyway, no family, no friends, not even a f***in summer job to distract me from my pathetic isolation.
It's worse than being hated or bullied or any of that...at least it's some human attention...I'm simply neglected by people...
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