I'm feeling super guilty about not being able to equally gift a friend for her birthday. Any ideas what I can do?

[Anonymous]

My best friend gave me $150 for my birthday and treated me to a pretty expensive lunch. I was in literal shock. She gave me the card with the money and told me not to open it until I got home, I guess so I couldn't turn it down which I literally would have. It was insane! We've been friends for like 25 years, and in all that time, our gifts have been like little things we've both liked or like $50 gift cards at the most.

It's now her birthday and like, I don't have $150 to just drop on her. I'm taking her to a modest lunch and getting her some flowers and a small cake, but I am feeling the guilt sweats!!!! I'm trying to tell myself, it's fine, it's totally fine, it's fine, don't worry, but I don't want her to feel like "oh, that's what you got me." (She's not that type of person, but my overactive imagination and guilt are riding me hard, okay!!!!)

What would you do?

[Mr_twoface]

Some people can afford a little more, whilst others can't. It shouldn't mean you have to reciprocate the same way when one overspend (and can afford it). It's the thought and action that counts what you do in return. If going for lunch, getting her flowers and cake, is something you've done in the past, then maybe do something different like other user suggested bake something or buy a tickets to cinema/musical... or plan an outdoor activity. Something that is going to be memorable yet within your budget.

Don't worry, enjoy it and have a blast!

[Asker]

Funny enough, the birthday lunch happened. I got really sick (I have a chronic illness, so sucks for me) but went anyway because I didn't want to cancel. Forgot the gift and card I was planning on bringing. I showed up and she had actually brought me a gift (I swear I'm not good enough sometimes for our friendship). Knowing what I deal with, she was super understanding. I couldn't eat a thing, so we just talked and just had a good time. We're just planning to do something else when I'm feeling well again, and she totally understood everything.

[Mr_twoface]

Firstly, sorry to hear about your illness. Hope things do get better!
Secondly, that is a true friend, which you should hold for life!

Best of luck to you both and take care!

[slatyb]

She probably knows this. Don't worry about it. She will appreciate the effort. In the future, a hand-made gift is always nice, or home baked goods.

[Asker]

Making some cookies is actually a really good idea, and I'm also sure you're right. I know her intention with her gift was just to give me something really really nice, and of course, I appreciated it, and will appreciate whatever I can give on my end. Just overthinking it!

[Iron_Man]

do what you can do and explain to her the truth saying I’m sorry that I can’t do more. Just tell her the truth

[Iron_Man]

Some people at certain times are in better financial situation than others

[Asker]

That's true. Obviously she is my best friend, so we can be honest, I just have not, and cannot get over her gift, like it just blindsided me and now I'm like, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[Iron_Man]

Not everybody can match up gifts every year one year if you’re financially better than you can surprise her but right now just do the best you can without breaking your back

[VV3ZZY123]

Make her something?

[Asker]

What could I cobble that would even be something anyone would want these days, lol!