Why is my ex not even cordial to me in public?

[Anonymous]

Being that my ex and I were quite similar we tend to be in the same place at the same time... solely by coincidence. Why is not he not even cordial to me? We broke up a long time ago (3-4 months ago). We spoke a bit over a month ago... and we broke up on a really good terms. He initiated the breakup, but later on when we talked about it we agreed it was more mutual than we had thought.

Ran into him last night while I was out... he acted like I didn't exist. He stared in my general direction for like 30 mins. After he left his friends talked to me... it just seemed very odd. Things didn't end badly. Why not say hi, hello, how have you been? I would have said hi except that he said he didn't want contact... I didn't want to be that annoying person to go against his wishes so I decided to wait til he said hi. I mean, if I meet him on the street somewhere again I'll probably say hi. It just felt so odd pretending like we didn't know each other AT ALL. Can we not be adults and say hello? I'd understand more if we ended on a bad note... but we didn't at all. He even said I was "almost" the one for him. Idk, just seemed odd.

[MyNameIsJonas]

Even if things did seem to end on good terms he may feel that as you are an Ex you no longer have a part in his life. He may still hold some resentments/bad feelings of what happened. Maybe give him more time and he will be more or less cordial. He is your Ex ultimately you two have decieded not to pursue a life or relationship together.

[Asker]

Wow yeah, I think he might. I feel like by not being friendly he's just showing he's not over it. He made last night kinda awkward. I can't talk to his friends unless he's gone. They're super nice and nice to me! Maybe next time I'll say hi to him. I get the feeling he wants to wipe me out of his life completely, but sheesh, is hello, how are you so hard? I guess I really didn't think things could have ended better. We both left the relationship and said we'd never been happier until we met

[Asker]

I wished him a happy birthday on his fb wall a few weeks ago... he liked and commented on every post except mine! I mean, that's fine, but idk, just kind of immature, right? I wasn't trying to be mean... Idk, it's like habit to say happy birthday to people on fb.

[MyNameIsJonas]

Wouldn't think to much into it

[Asker]

No... I won't. It just seemed a little immature. I wasn't trying to be mean or I don't know anything. I feel like he put too much thought into it... I was just being nice. idk.

[artfullyliving]

Why should he be?

He completely failed with you.

And you conspired.

[Asker]

Lol how did I conspire?

[why-makoto-kun]

If you had to work with him and he gave the silent treatment, he'd be immature, but he has no obligation to keep in contact with you. If he's not being cruel to you, he's not doing something wrong.

[Asker]

What if he gives me the silent treatment when I'm around, but when he leaves his friends talk to me?

[why-makoto-kun]

It seems petty, and it can be, but his friends may either not pick a side or be spying for him. So don't tell them anything you don't want him to know. It's a weird situation, but Idk, I just generally don't want to talk to my exes if they hurt me.

[Asker]

Idk, the breakup was mutual so I don't know how much hurt there was. I was more sad to lose him altogether than just breakup with him. It does seem petty. I don't know if his friends are spying... didn't think of that.

[why-makoto-kun]

Yeah, like someone said above he may be hurt or just not over it yet.

[Asker]

Hm. Idk. Oh well, I guess? :/ Too bad. I lost a great friend.

[why-makoto-kun]

Give it time. You might be friends in the future.

[Asker]

It's been so long... already... idk, I've already moved on... wasn't successful with two of the guys, but at least I'm dating around :/

[why-makoto-kun]

Maybe he was unsuccessful with moving on? I'm sorry you're in a sucky situation

[Asker]

Just awkward. It's alright. I just... idk, when it ended it seemed so happy... we both said we restored each others' faith in love as well as confidence... and we wished each other the best and said we'd both find awesome people. I know he hasn't moved on... he told me when we got together a bit over a month ago that he doesn't think he'll date for a while.. too busy and I was so patient with him and he probably won't find that elsewhere

[why-makoto-kun]

Yeah, honestly, many breakups get ugly even if all these beautiful, flowery phrases were exchanged during the actual breakup. I went from wishing one guy well to being physically afraid of him because he was being difficult when I requested that I get my stuff back in a public place. You can't expect these things to go smoothly. Hence why I don't advocate pushing friendships right after a breakup (yes, my case was a guy who could not be a good friend, but that's not the point).

[Asker]

Yeah! oh well I guess? Too bad though... because I don't like him, want to date or anything. I truly just wanted friendship. I tried to hook him up with one of my friends the other night haha. She likes him, I think. I don't know if he'd go for her though... :/ I still said she should go for it!

[why-makoto-kun]

You did all you you could. Just let it go. You have great intentions but he can't move at the same pace as you in terms of moving on atm. And that's okay.

[Asker]

hm yeah. I guess... I somehow figured when we broke up he was totally okay with it and not sad. hm. he always hid his emotions well. yeah, I won't bother for now. give him some time. It just didn't work... and that's okay. It happens. That's life. Idk... that's even what he said :/. Then again, he did say I was almost the one, I shouldn't settle, I'm still awesome, and then he re-bought everything of mine he threw away lol. hm. and then posted songs about still being in love with a girl he left. hm.

[why-makoto-kun]

Yeah. That's life, sadly. We all get our hearts broken at some point, IMO.

[Asker]

I guess you can break up with someone you still really liked?

[why-makoto-kun]

You absolutely can. I dumped someone due to his behavior once and it took 2 years to get over him! 2!

[Asker]

woah! Actually... you're right. I dumped someone and it took me a year + to get over him! oh shoot. I'm so mean. I feel so bad! I forgot. It's always easier to be dumped... I think.

[why-makoto-kun]

Yes and no. But I'm glad I could help. I don't think you were mean at all. You were genuinely trying to understand the situation and had the best of intentions. :)

[Asker]

Very true. I really do wish him the best! he is a great guy and really deserves it! :) our personalities just didn't mesh... both too shy to bring out the talker in the other

[why-makoto-kun]

Exactly. You have a great attitude. :)

[Asker]

Aw thanks, I try! :)

[Asker]

I totally wished him happy birthday... he liked an commented on every person's comment except mine... so awkward! I was just trying to be nice.

[why-makoto-kun]

Forget him. It's not worth it. If it's meant to be, he'll get over it and reach out to you. You tried.

[Asker]

good point. thanks!

[why-makoto-kun]

Anytime. :)