High School is a Joke

[Anonymous]

I feel like some people have it easy, you know? Like I know we don't all have the same life and challenges and stuff, like where I might be lacking in one category I make up for in another, it’s the same for everyone. But I just feel like sometimes some people just have it easier off. For example, new school, new friends, it’s already half way through the year and me and my one friend (both new) came in together and now it’s the middle of the year and we are in totally different places. She fit into a friend group right away when a guy that liked her out of the blue asked her to homecoming and since she was his date she kind of became part of ‘the group’ he was in quickly. Me? No one asked me. Someone was but he didn’t. Two other guys were but they didn't. That's just my luck I guess.

I finally was able to find a group to go with at the last minute and it was fun but after the dance I was going to go to an after party at the house of one of the girls (also new who had fit in right away) in the group, but I sat in the car for over half an hour, not wanting to feel unwanted if I decided to go, also wanting to try to feel like I fit in with my friend. It hurt the most because before she became a part of that group, my friend and I use to be exasperated with them and how they were so cliquey and such. Then she became part of that group. Part of the circle in the middle of the freshman hallway who hung out on the weekend, shared inside jokes, and knew each other’s inside drama, something I tried multiple times to join into, but failed. No one cared about me whenever I did manage to squeeze into the circle and sure me and my friend were still close, but it wasn't like before. She had her friends, and then she had me.

The worst thing was a lot of the people in that group were in my classes and knew me and were nice, but then when it came to them all being with each other in a clump…...the thing about me is, when I see someone's not making the same effort as me to be friends, I just stop. I don't go begging for scraps to be their friend, I hate being that one third wheel that has to work so hard just to get people to acknowledge them in the group. I'm not that girl.

The other thing about me is I wander. There’s more than one group in the “freshman” grade, but I don't really fit into one in particular. I have friends in all the groups. But not a group, which is okay, but sometimes it really sucks because who do I hang out with in the hall if I never fit into one exact kind of group? The only group I kind of fit in is in the Soph. And when I'm not with them I usually hang with my other bestie whose a junior and has a group but is a little like me, a loner. So that helps a little bit, but sometimes I'll see my friend talking or whispering to others that are in her group and stuff and she’s so open with and I feel rejected, jealous.

I'm a very jealous person, friend wise. I don't know why, it's one thing I hate about myself. Maybe it's because I've lost so many friends in the past. Anyways, I'm tired of always keeping this all to myself and I know there are people out there who struggle in the same ways I do. So I'm writing this anonymously to all the crappy teenagers with crappy lives who feel like they are the only ones struggling. I may not have been through everything, but you’d be surprised, I've been through quite a lot. I hope you can relate. So this is my biography, of some of the worst/best years of my life, starting now.

-That girl in the hallway

This is the first post from my blog: https://hallwaytrackrecord.wordpress.com/

If you liked this please comment or like my post if you want more.

[Anonymous]

It could be