Let's imagine that you have a little one year old girl, you definitely love her and would wanna protect her, you would prevent her from some things that you know would be harmful, but she doesn't know that, does she? She's still a child with curiosity and many uncontrolled desires, but you mind her from doing these things. You're doing the mind's job for now, because she hasn't developed one yet. Maybe you expose her to something dangerous like fire or a hot iron, just to teach her how it might hurt, that she would avoid innocently grabbing the fire and have an ugly burn on her tiny hand. You did allow her to do something dangerous under your supervision, just to give her the experience without actually having to harm herself for it.
And when she grows up a little, her character starts to develop, influenced by her genes and how you raise her; how you encourage and discourage her traits, so as a parent you get to know more and more about her, you notice what she likes, what she's good at, and what scares her, you know her more than she knows herself. Now it's your duty to put her where she belongs, to teach her the things that suits her character, and surround her with the environment that benefits her the most, not the one you want her to be in, or else what's the benefit of all this knowledge about her.
Now let's imagine you're that girl, you became older now and gained more control over yourself. Your mind is now more powerful. You've seen how your parents protected you and loved you, how they taught you to do the things that are good for you even if yourself doesn't approve. You learned how to protect yourself, how to observe your thoughts and actions, how to gain experiences without much suffering, to actually know yourself better and to actually love yourself.
That's what self-love is all about. It's about control and observation which leads to self-knowledge. It's about doing what's best for you as a whole, which means you will have to compromise many of your selfish desires. It means you have a mind to contemplate your instincts and intuitions, to actually prioritize your health, safety and well-being. If you really love yourself, you would want to be a great person, you can! You have control, thus self-knowledge, all you need is willpower to fight your selfish instincts that lessens your productivity, influence and compassion, which are the three factors of character quality as I have explained in a previous post.
So to sum up, self-love starts with self-control, which isn't only fighting your selfish desires, but also observing yourself, to know your physical, emotional and mental strengths, weaknesses and interests. All this leads to self-knowledge, which allows you to know what's best for you, follow your passions and be a quality human being!
Hope that was efficient, thanks for reading!
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