I'm Here to Give You a Reality Check, Delusional People

[Helloitzapartaih]

I see waaaay too many pessimistic people on here who don't have a grip on reality , even all over the web and in real life. I'm not saying im perfect or always happy and positive or whatever . I'm just going to correct some common mistakes and offer advice in some topics people seem to have a false idea about.

Also the title is to draw attention so don't be sensitive and get over it.

1. Looks do matter

This is a thing i always see people talking about saying 'looks don't matter' . Lol yes they do. Just not to the extent you probably think they do.

Chances are most people reading this are average, because most human beings are very average looking and that is fine, that is how it is supposed to be. So a barista isn't going to be an asshole to you because you wore an ill fitting shirt or because you didn't put your makeup on that day. However, people will definitely treat you better if you are good looking or looking your best that day. You will have moments here and there where people treat you better than the average person, yes. But when it comes to hard work and competence, your looks mean jack shit. A good workplace will laugh you out immediately if that workplace has nothing to do with looks.

So people need to stop making excuses about how their looks are holding them back. How many ugly billionaires do you see crying about their looks? How many accomplished scientists, doctors, writers etc do you see being all insecure and like 'omg i will never achieve anything because am so ugleh and single and dumb waah' like shit get a grip and get your ass to working.

2. Stfu about being single

I get it, some people get depressed when they are alone and need companionship and even basic human needs like sex. I find it to be a great thing that I don't need sex and don't think about it that often, I may even be asexual lol.

Anyway, intelligence shows in knowing how to adapt to new situations that are uncomfortable for you. Like shut the fuck up about 'I am alone, I am gonna die alone, I'm so sad, I'm so single, men/women are trash' it is VERY annoying to see someone so sad and desperate like that. Do you think people will respect you if you act that way? NO.

However instead of dwelling on the problem, dwell on the SOLUTION. Figure out WHY you are single or even work on yourself. Be a more complete person. None of us are perfect but we can always work on ourselves to be better than we were yesterday. It is quite sad that some people are driven to suicide because they haven't learned how to accept that you aren't always going to be surrounded by people, you won't always have your way in life and you won't always have a partner. I don't understand it, I can sympathize a bit but if a person gets whiny and insecure about it it just goes to show you how weak they are.

3. Life is not fair

I know what you are thinking, we know blah blah this is something everyone says. But I have seen people who always say 'I work hard, I look good, I deserve this and I deserve that'. You don't get what you deserve. Do children deserve to have abusive parents or get cancer? No, but sadly it still happens and that is never going to change for every single person out there to have better circumstances.

So what can you do about it? Live with it. Learn to always work hard to get what you want, but don't live with the mentality that the world owes you something just because you think you did more than enough to deserve something.

4. Hard work beats everything else

Just because life is not fair doesn't mean you should just quit at life and go sit comfortably and be depressed and blame society and the world for your problems. You want the promotion? Go get it, work your ass off for it. Don't wait on it, just go and do whatever it takes to get it (not something illegal of course, don't be a dumbass and take this literally). You want to beat depression? Accept some hard facts about life, get thicker skin, go get therapy antidepressants a coping mechanism just do whatever you have to do and see what works out for you. You want to experience something good, actually start living your life? Accept that you will live through a whole lot of shit and you will always have problems.

5. Learn to work with people you don't like

I've seen this one too many times. People getting their feelings get the best of them and not work with someone or take advantage of the situation and get something beneficial from someone just because they didn't like them.

Don't be an idiot, life is all about survival and even friendship is a mutual beneficial agreement. Nobody will do anything for you unless they get something in return. A person who just helped out a homeless man feels good because according to their moral system they just did something good and that makes them feel good about themselves. That they achieved something good. A friend won't be your friend no more if you start becoming unlikable, depressed or change what you were offering in the friendship. Is that sad? Yeah, yeah. But grow up and accept it.

Learn to get things from people and use them to your advantage (not in a harmful way, but using people and getting what you want isn't a bad thing). Also stop letting your 'morals' get in the way. Not everyone has the same ideals or morals as you, so don't get easily offended or sad that someone did something you consider bad but they consider alright. I'm not talking about things we universally agree are bad (like murder, being disrespectful for no reason, racism etc.) but rather about things like when someone is honest about what they want and you don't like it just because it isn't a popular opinion. That will get in the way of you getting anything good in life.

Moral of the story, life isn't the way we want it to be. Open your eyes and accept it the way it is but work around it to get what you want. Don't be a pushover to people, to life just because it isn't the way you expected it to be. Part of growing up and being an adult is things like these.

There may be some grammar errors, I don't know what to say. I don't want to go read this over and fix them so just try and ignore it.

[GuiltyGuinness]

I love your take. but one thing you forgot to add. Hard work is great, but that alone is not good enough, you need resilience and not giving up on what you want. There a lot of hard workers out there, but most give up, cause can't handle all the rejection and failure that is thrown at them.

I am 36 years old. I have never had a girlfriend, and I don't blame girls for that. If anything girls have given me opportunities

But I do love the take overall.

[GuiltyGuinness]

Thanks for MHO. So quick lol

[Helloitzapartaih]

Haha yes. I really liked what you said , lots of people missed the point i made about hard work and i forgot to include it so thank you for the addition!
And that is good , i see too many people blaming others and saying 'All men/women are trash' and giving up just because of unfortunate experiences they had or relationships just not working out.
And hey 36 is still plenty of time if you are looking to find a partner , my uncle got married at 39 and i have an aunt who got married at 52 , so it is still possible in my opinion.

[GuiltyGuinness]

yes so true, my aunt got married at 40

[Shadow44]

1. When it comes to dating and one night stands they do matter a bit. It's dumb to pretend that the dating game in general isn't somewhat shallow on both side. Though it's not like that for everybody. When you look at things rough a shallow lense you'll probably find and attract (not physically but into your life) like people. What people should focus on is their style, hygiene and trying to stay physically healthy as best that they can.

2. Some people do get lonely. I get it. Though being single isn't the be all end all of things. Relationships and dating are one part of life. I've found from personal experience that being single can be quite great and fulfilling. When you're not focussed on finding someone all the time and instead focus on friends, your own personal goals and hobbies, and improving yourself then that loneliness from singleness nulls out. Yeah you may get lonely sometimes but that's life and would happen whether or not you're single. Though being single can at points come down to a lack of luck. It's not worth putting yourself down or letting it get you down. It's a good excuse to keep trying.

3. This will tie in with my next point but life isn't fair. Some people are born into shitty circumstances and work their asses off to not even get as far as someone who has just basically had everything given to them in life. Some people are the hardest workers in their company producing more and better quality work than others only to have a promotion go to someone who doesn't do as much.

4. You could apply for a job, having a masters degree, 5 years experience only to not be hired because a guy without a degree and no working experience knew the person hiring. Connection are also big though on top of this it's not all about working hard. You have to work smarter not harder. I know people who got good grades and barely put in the effort, while others worked hard in order to get a D or a C. Some people are a natural at thigns while others aren't. Some people studied smarter over studying harder.

5. True I agree 100% but you can also choose to work elsewhere if you're really hating it.

Anyways the point I'm trying to make is if you want something you have the power to change it. Work hard but more importantly work smart. On top of this have perserverence. You may not ge twhat you worked towards in life but you could find success somewhere. If you don't like your life circumstances then you should do something about it.

[computergeek357]

1. Looks matter to extremely shallow people who have nothing better to do than the "Look how pretty I am" game. Otherwise your hygiene, style and the way you carry yourself speak volumes on your character.
2. Can't speak for others, but being single although sometimes lonely, is also a choice, which was brought on by the same type personality described in 1.
3. Your right on at least one point so far, life isn't fair and some people want a trophy just to participate.
4. Bullshit, hard work means nothing at all and I am just ONE proof to that, I am a slacker, I enjoy my life, I am semi retired and do what I want when I want, that had nothing to do with hard work it is only because to 99% of the people who know me I am extremely intelligent, and care about my customers. It is in the way I speak, walk and talk and I built my business from 2 customers 16 years ago.
5. Not a chance in hell cupcake, I hire people to work, if you can't do the job get the hell out of my way. Anything you want done right you better do it yourself because no one can ever beat your own expectations.

In summary, while I may not know you here is the reality check:
You are 20 years old, you haven't lived yet, you don't know what people have done or been through and if you don't like what someone says move on,

[Helloitzapartaih]

You are the second person who didn't get my point in number 5. I said if someone is your boss then you won't like it but you have to work hard and endure them being harsh to you.
Otherwise , i respect your opinion. On your 'if you dont like what someone says move on' that is what i said in my take if you read that part.

[Helloitzapartaih]

And i said looks do matter , just not as much as most people think they do. That is true , there is actual scientific proof to back this up.

[computergeek357]

I'm not arguing any of these points with you, I based my answers on my life and my life only, yes I didn't fully read all the posts. Please don't take it personally but no one on line has the writing quality of an author and I am used to trying to sum up situations very quickly I tend to skip through things, so if I missed something I apologize. As for 5 it stands no matter if your the boss or the worker, you don't have to work hard. There is a saying. "Work smart, not hard"

[Helloitzapartaih]

Figuring out a way to work smart is still hard work in my opinion , since you are trying to learn a way to get through things quicker or doing them with more efficiency. But i think you get what i meant by hard work.
And okay , to each their own. I obviously can't say what i think is true about your life since it is your own and you lived it so i respect your perspective.

[Tessa01]

4 is not a proof that hard work means nothing, it's just a proof that you have a really low bar for what is considered a successful career or `extremely intelligent` lol

[computergeek357]

@Tessa01 Again a 20 year old discussing low bars, tell you what, let me know in 20 years where your fancy degree in Bullshitoligy got you and how much of your student loans are paid off, in the meantime I will do me and agree to disagree.

[Helloitzapartaih]

Funny you think i have student loans. Or that im majoring to work in a stupid career.
I was making an example , it doesn't have to be about something precise.
But you obviously just wanted to disagree , and say that age means that im not mature when believe me it has nothing to do with age.
I never said that was 'extreme intelligence' . I said that you dont get what you deserve in life , but if you work hard enough for something chances are you won't be dissapointed instead of not trying at all.

[allie97]

I disagree with party of number 1. and 4.
It depends what you mean as successful... Just having a normal job to making ends meet or making a lot of money and becoming a billionaire?
I know a lot of hard working people who aren't millionaires or billionaire. Most of these people aren't self-made. They already came from a well-off family to start with or their parents had connections.
I know an example of a person that was like that..
Also looks matter a lot in your work place. There are people that made a career entirely based on their looks (eg. Taylor Swift is not a good singer, she has a quite average voice in my opinion yet she's popular case of her looks)

Also number 5. "Learn to work with people you don't like."
Really? Working with people you don't like or in an environment you don't like can only case you stress. Stress is related to lots of mental and physical illnesses and reduce your quality of life. It's never too late to live a job you don't like and start from scratch.
That's why you some people in their 40s who go back to college.

But yea I agree with the rest of your point. Be the change you want to be in your life

[Pejtu]

Yes u tell the truth in many cases
1 true as hell u cannot always win the GENES lottery while u were born , if u have an ugly face u have to deal with it and dont lie to urself because it will hurt even more
2 i used to be single for 20 years , after my 21 th birthday i lost alooot of weight 90 pounds , and suddenly u know what happend i found 4 girlfriends in 3 years thats all i gotta say
3 its true good looking / attractive people have much easier life i see it after i changed myself by 360 degrees , and generally u feel much happier even if things are not so great and u are single or whatever the reason is , its easier to be sad while being attractive , instead of being ugly
4 true but connections that u got / ur parents or ur SO, HELP SOOOO MUCH
5 kind of true - but only if u have to do it

[Helloitzapartaih]

That point about looks and connections is true , but you can just work twice-three times as hard as someone with looks or connections. There are exceptions to every rule of course. I just think people shouldn't quit at life just because they didn't get what they wanted in terms of looks , money or opportunities.

[Pejtu]

Meaby i was afraid of change , are you?

Yes if u fail once , twice, fail again , fail better untill u do it right
No matter how much time it will take ( it took me almost 2 years ) if u wanna change something like i did change myself for best version i can be just do it !!!

[Helloitzapartaih]

Yes i am of course , but anything im afraid off id rather face head on and do it anyway than just stay comfortable.
I agree with that very much! If it is worth it then hard work till it is acheived.

[Pejtu]

If u want to change something start from changing urself first :)
Good luck :)

[JudgmentDay]

People worry way too much about being single and don't see the bright side of it all. At least they wouldn't have anybody else to lose if they are single. Nobody is entitled to a relationship, sex, or whatever. Those that insist or believe they are, are indeed completely delusional. In the end it's a false sense of security, just because someone has a relationship, married or whatever then they wouldn't die alone is incorrect. More often than not one spouse dies before the other one, so more often than not people do die "alone".

[Engageme]

Lol I agree 100% I do feel for those who have difficulty adapting but I lose that empathy after a point. Once a long time ago my counselor told me "life doesn't owe you anything" i was genuinely butt hurt. I felt it did damn it! Lol but it stuck. I finally got over it and adapted. I turned my lemons into lemon aide. I still practice this now. I get discouraged sometimes like everyone does, I cry sometimes, get angry. It's the normal stages of grief when anything is lost (a person, a job, a dream) but I don't stay stuck there. I suck it up, pull out the sugar and make lemon aide. If I can't change my circumstances I change my direction.

[Anonymous]

I agree with this 100%. Some people need a reality check. BUT I would to the list that add that social media is shallow, superficial and doesn't matter in real life (For now maybe in the future it will be everything like for that black mirror episode). I have friends who go out every night JUST to post it on social media and gain followers by doing that they neglect their studies (we're in college) and spend their money plus they keep comparing themselves to other people and get lose self confidence. So stay away for this toxicity or use it to spread knowledge or awareness to stuff that actually matters.

[passinby]

The first thing lacking in this reality check is that this is the internet and much of what you identify, as the negatives really are in part simple reflections of people escaping reality. Therefore, to base a reality check on a non-realist media is in fact non-sequitur. However, it is a good take if applied elsewhere.

[SirRexington]

Looks definitely matter. But personality is more important.

Don't tell someone to stop issuing their grievance which is obviously depressing them. Sometimes it's out of their control or it's not a physical solution you can observe.

Life isn't fair. But that isn't an excuse not to try and change it to be more fair.

Hard work doesn't mean shit. If that were true, more people would be more successful and the economy would be doing better. Most shit nowadays is luck and who gets there first.

Of course we have to learn to work with others, but it's important to know your own personal limits.

[Browneye57]

I like it. Go after what you want.
If you think you can or can't you're right.

I blame this on my generation of parents. They raised a whole crop of weak, entitled, special little snowflakes.

Newsflash - you DESERVE NOTHING. You get what you get for the effort and work you put in. Just like everybody else. :)

[Benedek38]

Said the fucking baby boomer who had shit handed to him on a silver platter. Fuck off, will you?

[Edanurus]

Very pessimistic look on life/people you have there.

1. Really? So how does the fact that millionares/highly successful people not being bothered about looks make it easier for the average person?

2. Ah 20 and trying to tell people about lonelyness. You do realise that it's not about having loads of people around you. For some nussance calls are amazing because that's the first conversation in weeks.

3. Wow, so if your kid dies you'll just get over it?

4. So the world will give you something if you do enough to deserve it now?

5. Do you work? Because everyone has to do this. No one can choose who they work with unless they are the boss.

Basically it's not your problem so you don't want to hear it. Well grow a thicker skin then and ignore these people if that's what you believe.

[Helloitzapartaih]

1. Im saying if people can make it with whatever looks they were given even below average , then you too can work hard in life to get to where you want to be.
2. I never ever said that. I said i find it sad thay people haven't learned how to cope with being alone sometimes and that they dont need to have a partner all the time to be fullfilled.
3. What i meant by that point is shit happens , it won't stop happening. If i had a kid and they died it would take me long to get over it. But i will accept it instead of lashing out and indulging in self destructive habits. That was the targetted audience. Im saying people need to work on their shit instead of dwelling on their problems and complaining. I struggle a whole lot in life , so i know what im talking about. But i have learned-the hard way- that dwelling on the problem for too long and not the solution won't help. And that not a lot of people will sympathize or understand and that is fine.

[Helloitzapartaih]

4. Nah , i said work hard to get what you want but dont expect to be given something because you think you deserve it. You aren't even reading and understanding my points , at this point.
5. I mentioned that in the take , read that part again.
No , believe me most people dont want more issues and im not talking only about those close to you. There are some problems you can work on , on your own and some problems you can get the help of others with.
It isn't about thicker skin , im just telling my opinion and trying to help those out there see reality , which at least from my perspective is very true what i have said so far. Not everyone has to agree and that is fine , i respect that.

[Anonymous]

@computergeek357 (who blocked me after I pointed out his illogical thinking :( )
I got an internship at Microsoft this summer, and I just started contributing to the world! I don't know where I will be in 20 years but right now I have no loan, I'm on a full scholarship, because I worked hard when I was in high school. But that's beside the point. The point is your alleged success story doesn't even serve as a proof for what you claimed.
Imagine the guy who worked hard to build his software company and became a billionaire in his mid 20s reading the ``proof`` that hardworking means nothing at all from a 40 yo guy who owns a small computer shop 😂hysterical

Here's a better proof, what I wrote was the uncomfortable truth, so you got mad and blocked me.

[Youngin392]

I’ll live with it until I die.

“don't live with the mentality that the world owes you something just because you think you did more than enough to deserve something.”

I understand, but sometimes people with disabilities would just like a normal life. Without the pain and medication hopefully you can understand this too, but fuck it.

[Anonymous]

Some points are fitting, some points aren't. Using people to get what you want major NO. Antidepressants aren't the solution, it makes people more depressed and crazier.

[Opinion Owner]

I think this take is created as your motivation in your diary. I think it applies to what you are thinking. I give this take a 3 out of 10.

[Helloitzapartaih]

Antidepressants dont help everyone and aren't meanr to be a full time solution.
Using people as they use you back is literally life , friendships , relationships etc. I dont think you understood my meaning of taking advantage.
You are right this is from my perspective , but i consider this to be mostly true about life and isn't just some motivational bs.

[Opinion Owner]

It doesn't matter if its taken short term, it changes the brain receptors immediately.

[Opinion Owner]

Its mostly true for you because it is your life's experience and perspective.

[Helloitzapartaih]

A lot of people have agreed with me , and some of it i have learned from others , some from personal experience and some from just common sense.
And yes it is my own perspective so we can agree to disagree.
Personally antidepressants have helped me but like i said it doesn't work for everybody. But a person has to try and seek help in as many ways possible or they will never get better. It isn't all just pills , some people get better with therapy , or new friends or a hobby , depends on the person.

[Helloitzapartaih]

And those who agreed , im not talking online only. In life in general people find these things useful. But to each their own.

[Opinion Owner]

☺☺👍

[grega239]

1. looks matter. in what way?
2. im single bcs i dont go out to meet women, bcs i have mental health issues and women dont like "damaged goods".
3 what else is new...
4. i guess...
5. no. id rather do it myself than say thanks to people i dont like

my past experiences did make me a pessimist. I don't know what to tell you. life has been a bitch so far, and repeating patterns rarely change

[FýrdracaDócincel]

I will never understand why you motivational types always treat 3 and 4 like they're not mutually exclusive.

They are.

Life can't be both fair and not fair at the same time. Make up your minds.

[Helloitzapartaih]

Just because life is not fair doesn't mean a person should give up and not work hard. Yes , maybe you will work hard and not get what you want. But would you rather have tried and failed , or would you rather have done nothing?

[Reggieray]

Hell of a job. It's nice to know some parents are still producing useful adults.

[Anon-ymous1]

Number five is the most important part of this list.

[Exterminatore]

PREACH IT!!! I agree with nearly every word you said and for 20 years old you’re wise beyond your years.

Now please, carry on educating the weak motherfuckers amongst us how shit really is and how to do life.

[5yrup]

that was hilarious. thank u for the laugh, i'll make sure to let the information flow straight out my other ear

[5yrup]

you sound like a horrible person. my mum is emotionally abusive and she would bully me with a lot of the things you said - especially using the word 'weak' to belittle me. i don't agree with you at all and i think you should mind your own business and follow your own advice rather than aggressively preach to people who might be going through things you know nothing about