It's the start of a new year, and with that, a lot of people begin assessing their lives and trying to decide what they want for themselves in the new year, but the problem with this is so many do not get beyond this initial step and soon default into old habits and playing the blame game, where everything is the fault of someone or something else other than taking any personal responsibility or taking control of their own lives.
It can be daunting to look around and see you're in debt, your job sucks, you haven't applied for school yet, your marriage or relationship is on the rocks, or your weight has spun out of control. The easy route is to just accept that that is your lot in life or to further continue to ignore the problems you do have until they have spun way out of control.
STOP
Take on a new approach to the problems you consider mountains in your life. Instead of looking at everything as being a problem, begin with, this is my issue BUT I can find a solution. What is the use of complaining endlessly about how something sucks and never actually addressing it. When you do that, you want to stay stuck. To put it simply, if the room you were sitting in were getting hotter and hotter, you would find a solution---you'd get up and leave, or adjust the temperature, or open a window to let more air in. Obviously life's problems are a bit more complicated than that, but the core idea is the same. Do not just sit there and let yourself believe that there are no, or only one solution to a problem.
GET HELP
At the most basic of levels, if you are online right now, you have access to a wealth of information on all manner of issues over the internet. If you need to find out how to lose weight for example, go online and get tips and if one thing doesn't work, go back to what should become your new mantra: "this is my issue BUT I can find a solution," and try a different route. Ask an in shape friend. Research how to do it on a budget. Enroll in a gym. Go outside and just start walking. Keep trying with all your problems until you find something that sticks. Ask yourself who or what can potentially help you and if that doesn't work, keep searching.
END THE BLAME GAME
There are a lot of people who have hurt us in our lives. We expected them to do right by us and they failed us horribly. Okay. Accept that these things have happened to you and it sucks. Begin to surround yourself with people who do actually have your best interest at heart and leave those negative people behind. Seek out therapy if it's begun to actually negatively affect your life. However, at the end of the day, you are responsible for YOUR life. Once you're out of that kid phase, you can change your circumstances. You can end a bad relationship. You can get a better job. No one else can do that for you, but you.
BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN POTENTIAL
Nothing in your life is going to change if you have no faith in yourself that you can do what it is you ultimately want to do. This can be the most challenging part especially if you have just accepted that "this is it," and "only bad things will ever happen to me," or "I can't, because...". Give yourself a chance to actually succeed rather than assume you will fail. Set small achievable goals at first that help you to accomplish your long term vision and become your own cheerleader. IF someone says you'll never do this or that, DON'T just agree with them like you're nothing and nobody. Actually assert for yourself that you are working on your goal and that you will get there with time.
START
Any and everyone can give you all the advice in the world, but it is you that has to put one foot in front of the other and actually decide that you want to start to feel better about yourself, to fix the issues in your life, and to ultimately change what you feel needs to change so that you can actually be happy. You have choice, you have power, you have the ability, and you can do whatever it is you need to do if you take things one day at a time, you break your problems up into smaller ones and chip away at them, and when you actually give yourself permission to achieve your goals.
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