ShaTTered Discussions: The Thin Line Between Confidence and Cockiness/Arrogance

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Let me just start by saying that there is nothing wrong with being confident! I feel like everyone should be confident in themselves. But the line that separates confidence from cockiness and arrogance is a thin one, and often gets blurred.

Learn the difference

By definition, confidence is "a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities". It means having self-esteem. It means loving the skin that you're in. Some people have it naturally and some people work hard to build it up. Like I said earlier, we should all strive to have confidence in ourselves. Confidence comes from within. That way it won't be broken by anyone else. A lot of people are drawn to those that are confident and I feel like because of that, you have people that go overboard. That's when the line gets crossed.

Cockiness/arrogance comes from feeling like you have to prove something. To me, that is the biggest difference between being cocky and being confident. Confident people don't need to say or prove that they're confident. They just are. People that are cocky think that confidence means being the loudest one in the room (here's a hint: it doesn't!) Confident people let their confidence speak for itself. You'll also know the difference between a cocky and a confident person because a cocky/arrogant person is also one that brags. They need everyone to know about their accomplishments. Confident people don't think that they are without flaws. Instead they embrace them. Cocky/arrogant people often act as if they don't have any flaws. And they usually are the first to point out someone else's flaws.

Which do you wear?

This is one of my favorites quotes. It sums it up well. Confidence is something you wear with pride but shouldn't make you prideful. It's natural and inspiring. Cockiness/arrogance is something you hide behind. It's usually a front and makes other people feel uncomfortable. I always say that a truly confident person is an arrogant person's worst nightmare, because a confident person doesn't have to try.

Confidence is key. Cockiness picks the lock.

As always, thanks for reading. See you guys on the threads!

😎 ✌🏾 ❤

#confidencevscockiness

#blurredlines

#ShaTTeredDiscussions

[ChrisMaster69]

This is a really good take.

for me, you need to face failure, terror, etc to be really confident,

facing your fears and overcoming them very much strips you of cockiness, that sense of false bravado disappears.

this is where the Alpha (🤦‍♂️😂😂) shrivels and the quiet guy at the back steps forwards, free of any false bravado and simply does what’s done in whatever it’s needs done.

the confident ones that no matter what’s coming down on you are able to stand in the face of adversity and simply handle their shit like no one else can.

when you have stared in to your own nightmares, battled your own beasts, accepted you are not perfect, that you do cry, that life is unfair but you make it what you want, you shape it and control what you can, well that’s when you can simply ask that girl a simple question of ‘can I have fries with that order please’

oh come one did someone expect an nice answer lol.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Lol this was a really good response!

"facing your fears and overcoming them very much strips you of cockiness, that sense of false bravado disappears."

I love that!

[ChrisMaster69]

@ShaTTeredMasterpeace been there and done it on Ops, you age a lot in a moment, having friends blown up etc sort of removes your innocence.
The real desire to be cocky seems false.
There is another element to confidence and that is black humour, professions such as Nurses, a doctors, Police, Fire Fighters and Mil Forces have it, you have a confidence that just sits below the surface but around it this very dark and specific humour that you all understand.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

For sure.

[GnatSocks]

I wear cockiness like a mask, and beneath it all, I'm confident. It's like I'll joke and be over-the-top that I'm the best at something. I don't mean anything by it but smack talk or giving an opportunity for banter, expecting them to hit back as well. My main skill is being able to pick up things pretty quickly, and having the real big smart. However, when I meet a deeply insecure person, I'll either accidentally make them feel down and try to boost them back up or pick up on it and lighten up. (Or, if I just don't like who they are, fuck with them). So you're treating it like a dichotomy, when it's separate traits.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

And that's why I say that there's a thin line. I don't feel like you should have to wear cockiness as a mask if you're already confident. Thanks for reading tho!

[DizzyDesii]

The gagers who refer to themselves as alpha and call other men beta are the main cocky mfs who mistake their cockiness for confidence. They disgust me

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I don't take anyone that uses that alpha and beta bullshit seriously. Cuz I've seen some chics on here using it and agreeing with the lame dudes that use it. It's weird as hell. We aren't wolves.

[DizzyDesii]

I wouldn't date a guy who refers to himself as that and the women who agree are usually the ones who see their racial features superior to those of other races. I dont trust their asses either

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Mhm.

[MCheetah]

@DizzyDesii
I think women don't get the "alpha/beta" thing because it doesn't exist with most women and it's highly masculine. I DEFINITELY wouldn't call myself an "Alpha," but I've met plenty of "beta males." You may hate the specific terms, but they're really just words for "confident and successful" and "weak-willed and spineless." Since women don't need to have bravery or success to prove their worth to society at large, they generally dismiss the ideas of such, even though ironically, like 99% of straight women are super attracted to Alpha Males (confidence) and super turned-off by Beta Males (spinelessness).

[Anonymous]

Women lament the fact that cocky women are neither liked nor respected by men.

Everyone laments the fact that women are sexually drawn to cocky men.

Women dislike cocky men, but they make their panties wet. And therein lies the reason cocky men even exist in the first place.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Some* women are attracted to the cocky asshole men. A lot of women are turned off by that.

[Opinion Owner]

The problem would be solved permanently if women would resist their sexual attraction and stop breeding with cocky men.

[jaybee281]

Facts - that's the shit they like - I've experienced it myself - when I was "confident" I didn't get shit - This definition of confidence is just for silent kind of dudes - and by the way cocky people are not insecure - They have high self esteem with a fragile ego - imagine saying conor McGregor or Steve jobs are insecure people..

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

@jaybee281 cocky people are very insecure.

[Opinion Owner]

Some cocky people are insecure, but most cocky men are not.

[MCheetah]

@jaybee281
Exactly! When I think of "cocky," I think of highly successful, but thin-skinned people, like Kanye West or Donald Trump. I personally think there is ZERO difference in cockiness and confidence other than confident people are quiet and cocky people are loud.

[MCheetah]

The two have no difference to me. I know women love confidence in men above all else, but I hate excessive pride in people, no matter what positive or negative connotation you use. I prefer people to be normal, rather than "quietly arrogant."

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

I mean i like confidence in everyone, but there are other things above confidence for me. in MY opinion, there is a difference. And I don't believe there is a such thing as quiet arrogance. Arrogant people don't know how to be quiet.

[MCheetah]

I've always struggled with confidence and understanding it, so thank you for the MyTake, at least. I've even watched countless videos on YouTube about "confidence" and how you build it up (you collect a resume of tiny victories and look over your "resume" to prove what you can accomplish). However, I still struggle with it.

The truth is, I don't WANT to be confident. The woman I almost married constantly implied I was highly worthy and deserving of self-confidence, but it still bothered me. (I assumed at the time, "confidence" meant "become an Alpha Chad and grow four inches overnight.") I guess the biggest thing I fail to comprehend in your take is this:

"Confident people don't think that they are without flaws. Instead they embrace them."

Everyone has flaws and no one is perfect. If to be confident means your flaws are irrelevant, then how is that not assuming you are perfect? (Your flaws don't matter; thus, aren't 'flaws.') This is why confidence disgusts me. No one is perfect and no one should stop trying to improve who they are. "Confidence" would be to imply perfection in one's self (arbitrary or personal).

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

No one is perfect and confident people understand that. At least in my opinion. Your confirmation shouldn't be for anyone but you. It is ok that you struggle with it. A lot of people do. That you are able to admit it says a lot in itself!

[Anonymous]

I have always found this subject interesting because of the disconnect between what women say and how they behave. I'm a relatively confident guy but I have found the cockier I act around women, the more success I have with them. It's almost like flipping a switch. I don't think cockiness has anything to do with insecurity for most guys.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

A lot of guys feel like this it seems. And there are some women out there that are attracted to cocky men. But there are some of us that don't lol. I think women like BDE and that's like a next level of confidence. I think I might write a Take on that.

[ohshee]

When your confident your on it you do it and your done. ZAnything else you put down , bullshit , walk in circles and co mne back tomorrow to finish

[es20490446e]

Confidence is when you are result focused, not image focused.

[Gravit1]

Their is a fine line between arrogance and high self esteem and it is beneath me!

[COMMODOREII]

Some people need to learn humility.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Most definitely.

[obtuseocelot]

Well said.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Thank you and thanks for reading.

[bigchanges]

noone cares kekw

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Thanks.

[Bklynbadboy12]

What line? 😂

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Confidence can become cockiness when someone feels they have something to prove...

[Bklynbadboy12]

I agree I've experienced that before