Guy's Behavior

Demystifying the "Importance of Confidence"

Guys are in a weird boat when it comes to asking for advice in succeeding with women. It's a hard thing to do to ask another man how he attracts so many women, thereby admitting that he is less popular with the ladies than another man.


When he does, it will depend on the type of man he asks advice from:


Demystifying the

The guy who's always been good with women since he crawled out of his mother's vagina


You'll ask him what's the best line to use, how to tell if a girl is into you before you go up to her, how to stay fun during the conversation, ask if it's envioronment dependent, ask about the importance of wingman, ask what clothes to buy, ask what's holding you back from the tons of women out there who, if you could just figure this one thing out would desperatly want to sleep with you and date you. And...he'll just scratch his head. To ask a guy like this how he is so successfull with women is like asking a random person at a restaurant how do they drink water. Not only will they have no idea what you're talking about (what?! You mean you can ACTUALLY DRINK WATER?! How do you do that?!) it will also start to mess with their heads if they remain to long in the conversation. They'll start questioning how exactly it is they do this thing which seems so amazing to others and wonder why it isn't more difficult. They'll start questioning if they really can do it, which of course they can, but it's fun to watch the mental loops their minds do when they're trying to figure out what the hell it is you're talking about.


Then there's...


Demystifying the "Importance of Confidence"

The guy who's made it his life's mission to chase girls and knows WAY TOO MUCH about this stuff.


He'll be all to happy to talk to you and give you advice, as it validates what it is he predicates his value to society and to himself on. He'll initially blow your mind with all sorts of quick tips such as making you realize that girls judge you if you occasionally wear jeans that aren't quite long enough for you, never to actually look at a girl at a club unless you're ready to approach her in the next five seconds, and how taking a girl to the movies is much worse idea than having her take herself directly to your apartment. Eventually though, he'll run out of steam, and you'll realize he himself is struggling realization that he will never quite "figure out" how to be good with women in general and that his own genius tactics often blow up in his face far more than they succeed.


And so what's a guy left with when he's sick of these two gentlemen?


Demystifying the "Importance of Confidence"


Ah, yes, the old "just be confident" advice. Some guys try to fake it, but find they can't sustain this "super hyped on yourself" mindset long enough to seal the deal. Yet, it remains, confidence is the surest way to consistently attract women into your life.


You tell me to be confident. You tell me it's as easy as just believing in myself...but, I...don't? HOW DO I GET THAT?


And here we are. It's actually very difficult to do something as very simple as buying into the idea that you're awesome. The main reason for this is that if you're having to ask yourself this question you probably HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH OR DATED A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. Everything you are told to believe, you think, is groundless. You're being asked to believe in something, you believe, which is literally delusional, because it has no connection to reality.


You're not wrong, it has no basis in reality. The cat is not a lion and you are not a cassanova just because you think you 'ought to be one. You make a choice to decide you are, but, of course, reality always is there to slap you in the face with the fac that you don't actually have any real, factual reason to believe you are. What is a man to do?


The secret, unfortunately, is...


INDIFFERENCE


That's right, indifference. The thing that will get you from the bottom to the top (or almost top) is the fact that...who cares? Is it really that big of a deal if that girl rejects you? Couldn't she just have a boyfriend, be a lesbian, or being a bad day? Maybe she isn't and you're the scummiest, creepiest guy who's ever dared to hit on her. So what? Did that actually change the course of history forever?


Counter-intuitively, it's this lack of giving a shit that will make not only way easier to flirt with girls (because you aren't trying hard...or even at all) but girls will interpret this as confidence, as if you don't care because you "are happy with yourself and don't feel you have anything to prove." And here's one good tip: sex isn't a big deal. It just isn't guys. It's just a way to pass the time or let go of some stress. It can be a big deal if you make it one by having been in a relationship and built an emotional connection, but, if not, it's just "something to do when there's nothing to do." It's fun, it's exciting, it feels great, but if you don't get it, it's no big deal. It's no big deal. It's just a thing that men and women do above a certain age that's fun. Enjoy it and don't put a lot of importance or meaning on it.


So there it is, guys. Eventually, after mastering indifference to whether girls like you, you'll get enough notches or wonderful girlfriends under your belt, and it will be time to actually be confident. You will be a lion. And you will roar to the terror of the rest of the Animal Kingdom. You may even find yourself bored of the whole girl thing wasn't you feel "good at it." (Not likely.) But, in the beginning, relax.


Demystifying the "Importance of Confidence"
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