Society & Politics

5 Things to Understand About Confidence.

5 Things to Understand About Confidence.<br />


Somebody recently wrote something about why they like dating confident women and gave 24 reasons to that. Reading all of those reasons and not wanting to bombard his take with my long explanations of my view on confidence, I decided to write my own take. So, here it goes.


1. Confidence, is made not breed


We don't come out of our mothers wombs confident, it's something that we become over the course of our lives. Every human interaction we have. Every life challenege we face. Every word said to us, all of that is what helps shape who we are going to be. Some will be lucky and have enough good things to help build confidence and let them continue on that way until adulthood. Others won't be so lucky and everyday their selfesteem will lessen and lessen and they'll have to work hard to be become the confident person they want to be.


So, confidence isn't this easy thing to have because it's not breed in us. It's made through our life experiences and encounters.


2. Confidence, is the equivalant of liquid courage


I know this one may sound stupid, but they don't call alcohol "liquid courage" for nothing. I'm not a drinker but from what I understand alcohol helps you let your guard down and lowers your inhibitions, which gives you the courage to do things you normally wouldn't do stone cold sober. Confidence (in a way), is kind of the same thing. All confidence does is give you the ability to potentially do things the rest of us my have hard time doing and the ability to not internalize things or take them personally.


Confidence is just the abilty to be brave and have no fear, which is great thing to have. But, confidence doesn't make you better then someone or more datable. It just makes you luckier then the rest of us who have to fight to be that way, but that's all it makes you.


3. Confidence, is not the reason for a persons other characteristics or qualities


One thing I've learned from my time on here is people find one thing and use that one thing as why a person is that way.


Example: A girl wrote something about alpha males and she said they are "adventurous". But you see, a guy being adventurous just means he likes adventure, him beinging a quote "alpha male" is just pure consequence.


Another example from that dating confident women take, there was many things that were said to be qualities of confident women that I don't agree with but two that stick out to me are


Example 1: "She embraces new experiences and tries new things. " A woman embracing new experiences or trying new things isn't due to confidence, it's just who she it. Some people like to always experience new things and try new things, others are just simplistic and like what they like and don't feel the need to change that but that has nothing to do with confidence.


Me not desiring to try Sushsi, isn't because of my lack of confidence issues. It's just simply because I hate fish and I don't like raw food, that's it.


Example 2: "She will be more likely to become an amazing mother and wife. " Having confidence, doesn't give you the ability to be more likely to be an amazing wife and mother. It's takes a hell of a lot more then confidence to be amazing at those things. The women has to desire those things in her heart and her soul. There are so many other qualities that go into being a good spouse and parent, besides confidence and that isn't even the biggest one.


My point, having ONE quality isn't the reason why all those other qualities exist in that person. Having ONE quality, doesn't make you more likely to be better at something because it takes a lot more then one thing to make you amazing. Not sure if this one made sense but hopefully my point was made.


4. Confidence that is lost, can always be found


Just because someone isn't confident now, doesn't mean they never will be. I work everyday towards being a confident individual and being the person I want to be, instead of the one my life experiences turned me into. But just because I'm not doesn't mean I never will be or that I'm not striving to be. Everybody has the ability to believe in themselves, it's just some of us have to work a little harder at it then others.


So, if you're confidence is lost now, it most certainly can be found again.


5. Confidence, doesn't make you invincible


I get the impression that people think that all confident people are like Clark Kent Superman and are completely indestructible. However, just because your strong and have no fear doesn't mean you can't be taken down. Even Superman had a weakness, kryptonite was the one thing that could knock him down fast and take him from strong to weak. Well for the confident people their weakness would be, life. This may sound horrible, but there are bad things in this world that can happen to a person that are stronger and more powerful then confidence will ever be. Things that could take you from strong to weak and make you have to bulid your confidence up all over again.


I say this because confidence is seen as superior to the rest of us that aren't but it's not superior, because we are all human confident or not and life in one form or another will always bite us in the ass, confident or not. Confidence is great, but it's not an indestuctible quality.


So, those are my five things about confidence that I want people to understand. You don't have to agree, because this is just how I personally feel. I don't expect anybody else to feel this way.

5 Things to Understand About Confidence.
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