Most people have been called dramatic at least once in their life. Some people seem drawn to drama and others seem to love creating it. But what is drama? According to Merriam-Webster, drama is defined as a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces. The slang definition according to Dictionary.com is rumor, lying or exaggerated reaction to life events; melodrama; an angry dispute or scene; intrigue or spiteful interpersonal maneuvering.
When I think of drama, I think of someone that's always extra and over the top. I can be very dramatic at times. In the moment I may not think so, but when I look back I think of different ways I could have handled things. Then there are times that I don't feel I'm being dramatic at all, but others do. And people can become very dismissive of your feelings. Working with kids really opened my eyes and pushed me to look deeper. We all know that kids can be super dramatic at times. What I started to wonder was why? What triggers a person to react the way they do to certain situations? So I started to look at the things that made ME react in a "dramatic" way. And that's when I realized that I was giving trauma based reactions.
Trauma is defined by Merriam-Webster as a very difficult or unpleasant experience that causes someone to have mental or emotional problems usually for a long time. A lot of people have experienced trauma in their lives. Most times it starts at a young age and it shapes us. The thing is, unless you take the time to really understand what you've gone through, you don't really heal. And when you don't heal, those traumatic experiences start to come back up.
I personally have had a lot of traumatic experiences. I was molested at a young age, grew up with a father that did not know how to show love and affection (probably from his own traumatic experiences), and I was bullied relentlessly for years. So I grew up not knowing how to feel about men. I didn't trust them but I was also longing for a certain kind of love. I grew up feeling like I had no voice because my feelings were dismissed A LOT. Whenever I tried to express myself, I was made to feel like I was being annoying and bothersome. All of that shaped me into the person I am today. And while I try to lock all of that stuff in a box and push it away, because I haven't fully healed from it, it shows up in my behavior and the way that I act. But it also helped me to notice it in other people. Especially kids. I started asking questions during meltdowns instead of getting frustrated. I started learning what triggers they had and how to deal with them. It really helped me to understand better. And to be less dismissive and less likely to just write something or someone off as being dramatic.
It is soooo important to take the necessary time to heal from past experiences. Like I said, when you don't heal, things will just keep coming up. Healing will help you to not make the same mistakes. Healing will allow you to stop blaming yourself for the things you've experienced. It's not always an easy process. Hell, sometimes it can be downright ugly. But it's worth it in the grand scheme of things. Because when you heal, you can start to see the need for healing in others. And instead of just thinking someone is being dramatic, you can see that they're just reacting to their trauma.
If you've gotten this far, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm hoping that you take whatever you need away from it. Love and light to you all 💫💜