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It's Not Drama, It's Trauma

Save the drama for ya mama
Save the drama for ya mama

Most people have been called dramatic at least once in their life. Some people seem drawn to drama and others seem to love creating it. But what is drama? According to Merriam-Webster, drama is defined as a state, situation, or series of events involving interesting or intense conflict of forces. The slang definition according to Dictionary.com is rumor, lying or exaggerated reaction to life events; melodrama; an angry dispute or scene; intrigue or spiteful interpersonal maneuvering.

When I think of drama, I think of someone that's always extra and over the top. I can be very dramatic at times. In the moment I may not think so, but when I look back I think of different ways I could have handled things. Then there are times that I don't feel I'm being dramatic at all, but others do. And people can become very dismissive of your feelings. Working with kids really opened my eyes and pushed me to look deeper. We all know that kids can be super dramatic at times. What I started to wonder was why? What triggers a person to react the way they do to certain situations? So I started to look at the things that made ME react in a "dramatic" way. And that's when I realized that I was giving trauma based reactions.

PTSD is real
PTSD is real

Trauma is defined by Merriam-Webster as a very difficult or unpleasant experience that causes someone to have mental or emotional problems usually for a long time. A lot of people have experienced trauma in their lives. Most times it starts at a young age and it shapes us. The thing is, unless you take the time to really understand what you've gone through, you don't really heal. And when you don't heal, those traumatic experiences start to come back up.

I personally have had a lot of traumatic experiences. I was molested at a young age, grew up with a father that did not know how to show love and affection (probably from his own traumatic experiences), and I was bullied relentlessly for years. So I grew up not knowing how to feel about men. I didn't trust them but I was also longing for a certain kind of love. I grew up feeling like I had no voice because my feelings were dismissed A LOT. Whenever I tried to express myself, I was made to feel like I was being annoying and bothersome. All of that shaped me into the person I am today. And while I try to lock all of that stuff in a box and push it away, because I haven't fully healed from it, it shows up in my behavior and the way that I act. But it also helped me to notice it in other people. Especially kids. I started asking questions during meltdowns instead of getting frustrated. I started learning what triggers they had and how to deal with them. It really helped me to understand better. And to be less dismissive and less likely to just write something or someone off as being dramatic.

Heal so you dont bleed on someone else ❤
Heal so you don't bleed on someone else ❤

It is soooo important to take the necessary time to heal from past experiences. Like I said, when you don't heal, things will just keep coming up. Healing will help you to not make the same mistakes. Healing will allow you to stop blaming yourself for the things you've experienced. It's not always an easy process. Hell, sometimes it can be downright ugly. But it's worth it in the grand scheme of things. Because when you heal, you can start to see the need for healing in others. And instead of just thinking someone is being dramatic, you can see that they're just reacting to their trauma.

If you've gotten this far, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm hoping that you take whatever you need away from it. Love and light to you all 💫💜




It's Not Drama, It's Trauma
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Moose304
    I am getting old. I live alone BY CHOICE and have disdain for ALL kinds of drama. I don't even watch TV other than some sports and news. The thing is though unless you have walked a mile in someone's shoes you need to not judge their reactions to "stressors"! I know both men and women who are recovering from trauma in their lives. You offer them moral support but you DO NOT criticize them. PERIOD! Some time ago I crawled up into a young wife's ass after she told her Husband suffering from PTSD (Military caused) and was on some meds. This was the same wife that was getting "piped" by her boss on a regular basis even when said husband was deployed! This is a subject that royally pisses me off. When somebody like myself tells you to save the damn drama it's best to stop it. This also means when somebody has been traumatized you don't berate them either as they learn to deal with this.
    Helpful 1 Person
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    • Moose304

      "Some time ago I crawled up into a young wife's ass after she told her Husband suffering from PTSD (Military caused) and was on some meds." She told him to grow up and stop being such a baby!

    • Yeah she sounds like a bitch. I'm glad you stood up for him.

    • Moose304

      I did a bit more. I made sure he went to all his appointments at the VA and gave him one of my bedrooms for a while. The guy was suffering so bad he was missing all the red flags from his wife's cheating. They got divorced and since they really did not have anything she did not get anything. After I took him in, he slowly came to grips with the cheating. The wife would not leave him alone and I actually had to get her arrested. Today last I heard he is working on his family ranch in Kansas and is still in recovery. The POS he divorced still slithers around here, I see her from time to time. Hair butched off, several large tats, and smokes like a smokestack. I heard she has been locked up on and off. If you look in the dictionary under "crossway breeze" you will see her photo!

  • Twalli
    I am the opposite of making a big deal about something minor. I was pretty close to calling 911 to be carried out on a stretcher on Thanksgiving. I pinched a nerve and I couldn't stand without unimaginable pain. To get the Aleve in the medicine cabinet I had to drag myself up the stairs and back down to get into my bed. Yet I just said it hurt, so my parents considered it minor, until my mom felt it. She was there so she didn't get me taken out in a stretcher, but she told me that if it happened ever again when she's not there to get EMS because while it was only a pinched nerve this time, that level of pain could be something FAR more serious. I operate under the theory "if you can't solve my problem by my telling you, I don't tell you". Therefore I appear far more in control than I am.
    Helpful 1 Person
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Most Helpful Girls

  • melanieeeB
    That's amazing and I'm sorry what you went through 🙏🏼

    Last month my ex was telling me how my "close friend" was talking shit behind my back and I reacted and he said "stop being dramatic, she just did one thing wrong in all those years" and that was were I realized, that I was just hurt, cause she did exactly that what I'm trying to get rid of in my life. I have had enough.

    I learned from a joung age that I can't trust anyone, cause even my own blood betrayed me several times and I grew up feeling all alone and not loved enough.
    So I get it and you're totally right with all what you just said.

    Personally you learn to life with it and definitely change but some traits or anxieties don't. They stay, I call them self protection tho
    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you for reading. I'm glad it resonated with you. I'm sorry that you experienced those things growing up. I wouldn't wish feeling alone and unloved on anyone. All we can do is grow and heal. Happy healing! ❤

    • melanieeeB

      You too🙏🏼 it all gets better with time tho or at least you learn to live with it

  • prettygurlrock
    I enjoyed reading this! I’m so happy that you were talking about your own experiences in your life. Hopefully more people will speak up and be as positive as you! I agree with everything you said though. Healing is definitely important but it takes time to heal and people have to want to heal also!
    Like 2 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I. also hope that more people will open up to healing. But you're absolutely right, they have to want to.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • loves2learn
    This is SUCH a good take! And so relatable! My feelings were dismissed a lot as a child as well. And my parents were overly strict. I never learned how to properly argue or stand up for myself so I often feel steamrolled during even minor arguments with my husband. 😔
    Thank you for writing this and sharing this. I am really sorry about your trauma, but glad to hear you are healing.
    Like 1 Person
    • Thank you for reading. Yeah my dad was more of a dictator. I hope that you are healing as well.

  • DizzyDesii
    Dammit i shouldve read this in the morning. Its so heartfelt. Im glad you’re feeling better cause youve been through a lot. Just keep pushing forwarf. And im dramatic af but in a good energetic hype way. I can't help it. Its how i feel alive! And Usually i’d have more to say but my hands are tempted to play 😭✌️😝 Night gurrrl
    Like 1 Person
  • KieranByrne
    I am sorry you went through those experiences, and your father did not know how to help!

    I have a 'Mytake' with the same type of experiences!

    I hope you heal in good time from this, and I am glad you have found that working with children has helped you understand more about life's experiences!

    Personally I stopped reading 'Psychology' books, as I looked too far into the past, and caused myself more pain than I should!
    Like 2 People
  • crazy8000
    Learn this.

    Doesn't matter what caused it. it's still drama if someone creates drama.

    Our actions speaks.
    Our actions have consequences no matter what.
    Drama also creates trauma for those that doesn't have any of that sort that causes drama in some.

    Only time it matters what causes it is when treating it.
    Like 1 Person
    • Everyone has trauma, whether or not you want to admit to it is up to you. I didn't say that drama doesn't exist. For every action there is a reaction. And I'm very much aware of consequences.

    • Thanks for reading and responding tho!

    • crazy8000

      Trauma can be created by anything and nothing.

      Most have. even I have with funny unhealthy physical reactions that only harms me if it happens to often and long. something that I doesn't even consider traumatic experience when they occurred. some parts of the brain had an other idea about that.

  • DaveToo
    My racing accident was traumatic.
    My time in Vietnam was traumatic.
    Losing my wife was traumatic.

    I try very hard to minimize how those traumatic events affect my life. I don't want to seem to be a drama queen.
    Like 1 Person
    • You can't minimize. You have to feel those experiences in order to heal.

    • "You have to feel those experiences in order to heal. " so true!

    • DaveToo

      The Vietnam experience was 1968 - 1970. I've had some form of PTSD ever since.
      The racing accident was in 1978. I've had 15 major surgeries and physical therapy ever since.
      My wife passed in 1988. I was by her bedside when she died.

      If I didn't minimize these traumas I would have killed myself a long time ago.

    • Show All
  • jshm2
    That's the thing. PTSD and other such conditions are flung out with such ease that no one believes offhand you have anything wrong with you.

    Hence it's not trauma, but misdiagnosis by the cheapest doc your health insurance could afford.
    Like 2 People
  • LinaDaGoddess
    PTSD is something horrible and it’s definitely not taken as seriously as it should be.
    Like 1 Person
  • Luopio27
    Not everyone sees those differences.

    Girls are more likely lead on, played for sex.
    NiceGuys are more likely used as therapists.

    Manipulating human feelings for personal gain or comfort is wrong and most likely leads to traumas. Both girls and guys will be thaught by life that nit everybody has a tolerance for weaknesses in either gender. Most people know the difference but many just don care or see the difference. For some, its just easy to strike the drama card when somone is opening up about traums.
    Like 1 Person
  • t-8900
    Thanks for posting this and you got me a bit curious based on my own situation. We relate in our hardships a lot I would say. My question is about healing. Can you sometimes heal from something after understanding it and accepting it while still having a piece of yiurse removed. Like from an emotional standpoint let's take a copy of our physical self to reflect our emotional self. An arm gets removed and then the wound is cauterized shut. The emotional would is healed but the scar has left a disfigurement. Is that person healed in your eyes or only healed when made whole again? Sometimes I think those traumas make that impossible but I think that the person can still move forward with their life trying their best to improve and remain optimistic.
    • t-8900

      *a piece of yourself removed
      Sorry it's hard on this little touch pad to type well

    • Healing looks different on everyone. Healing doesn't mean that the trauma goes away. To heal means that you face the trauma, learn from it and grow. It'll always be there but instead of being an open wound, it'll be a scar. Healed but still there as a reminder of what you've overcome.

      Hopefully that makes sense lol. I needed to be sleep like ab hr ago. 🤦🏾‍♀️

    • t-8900

      Lol same and ya makes total sense. Thanks for sharing. Look forward to reading more soon

    • Show All
  • anon1903
    Louder for the people at the back
    Like 1 Person
  • jimmy2
    You so right man
  • Anonymous
    Trauma is your master. It steals a part of you and forces you to be something you're not. There is no devil. Devil is just another term for God to express the negative side of God. I worship trauma and it gave me power over everyone I know. I own them now as their master. Na I'm just kidding.
  • Anonymous
    Women literally make fun and shame men who are teuamatized thinking that it'll shame out out of stopping. Women contribute to toxic masculinity as much as other men do except they think they don't. It's pretty disgusting.
    Disagree 1 Person
    • You're generalizing. Not all women are like that. There are also men that play on people's trauma, but that's not the point here. It's not a blame game.