We were all designed to love our fellow man. People who live alone even die earlier per capita than people who go out and interact with their fellow human beings.
You are asexual because you have blockades put up all around your heart. You are literally terrified to love. This can be due to several things, namely abuse, witnessing a fearful emotional event, or just wrong internal reasoning. (Which can be exacerbated by malevolent forces)
If you had a relationship with God through Jesus I would counsel you to go to the Father and ask Him for help, I only say this because it's been the only reason I have begun to overcome the walls around my own heart.
Other than that, you must get involved in some very truthful, very honest, very painful and terrifying self- introspection as to WHY you are disconnected from your fellow man.
That connection, those tender mercies, the sweetness and love other people feel for their mates is yours for the taking... But you will never experience them with a hardened, fearful heart, that is afraid of rejection, or being hurt.
Due to the inherent problems in society, it is impossible not to get hurt... it is a fact of life. But those people who are brave enough, strong enough to push through it, to swallow down the pain and become vulnerable again, and sometimes again and again, are the ones who are rewarded with true love, which is so rarely found today.
I would also like to add that people like you... Who are closed off to the sweet, tender love of one who would call you mate, are often the ones with the biggest hearts, who will make someone the most happy. If you did not have a heart to scar, you would not be the person I describe. But that heart is in there... Waiting to be freed. You must be the one who does the seeking or you will forever remain closed off and alone inside.
What worked for me was to deny that type of thinking: That part of yourself that stubbornly insists that it's "selfish." It can be hard to eradicate that thought process entirely if you lack self acceptance but what you really need to do is submit to the desire for companionship & love. Ignore the thoughts that hold you back and tell yourself "despite anything i'm going to pursue it because I can." You have to indulge in a more selfish lifestyle and understand there really are no consequences for trying. It'll be worth it.
I personally think it's ok if you're asexual , I mean if you're not interested in sex so be it. No one can make a person interested , I can understand you still want a relationship with another asexual person. It can happened , But in this day and age it's probably hard to find. The only thing about this is , I've heard of asexual people not being interested in sex. But in some of your comments , You mentioned not being interested in touch , hugs or any of that. To me the definition of a relationship is showing affection , It doesn't have to be sex but affection. You said you don't even like that , You may have a problem when it comes to affection. In this case you will have to meet someone who doesn't like sex or affection , That's not going to be a walk around the park.
It's not selfish at all to want to be in a romantic relationship. It's entirely natural. Plus, there's tons of people who want to wait until marriage for sex, and yet they still manage to find people willing to date them and such. I think all you need to do is wait, and try to find the right person. There's probably resources on the internet that will allow you to find people who don't find sex essential, or who are also asexual. Just know that it's totally fine for you to desire a relationship, and that it's probably not as difficult as it seems to find one. I actually have a friend who is asexual who has been in several relationships, so I'm sure that it's possible for you too. Just be patient and keep on hoping.
yeah i'm the same way, lol... eternally lonely
... it's a sadistic paradox... having the need for an intimate connection... but inevitably arriving at the realization that all romances, no matter how compatible they may seem, require a certain level of physical intimacy to compliment the emotional intimacy... at least to a non-asexual partner... otherwise it'll feel to them like you're holding back and aren't really giving yourself fully to the relationship.
I know asexual people who are in relationships. They like all the emotional stuff relationships allow them, but they don't care about the physical. Like my friends meg likes her boyfriend more than others but doesn't love him, and he's okay with that because he doesn't believe in love. Physically she has sec with him to make him happy but doesn't enjoy it much herself, but I think that's just a personal thing. Maybe that's the way you need to go about it
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16Opinion
Asexual doesn't mean you deny yourself of relationships. You're just not interested in sex with another person. You can still feel romantic and have a relationship, there's more to relationships than just sex. Check out asexual dating sitea and find yourself a partner. There's no reason to be depressed.
You may just have a very low drive like I do
I used to believe myself asexual as well.
Just hope for the right person to come
along instead of looking for someone.
Until then, try to focus on yourself
instead of worrying about relationships. ^.^
In my opinion these are your options:
1) Find an asexual mate.
2) Find a non-asexual mate and although it may not be of your interest, engage in sex.
3) Allow your non-asexual mate to receive sex from another woman.
In my opinion, if you're hoping to find a non Buddhist monk, non-asexual male who is willing to not have sex for the rest of his life, you may as well be waiting for it to snow in Miami.
Sweetie, you're asexual. Not aromantic. You still desire that closeness just not in a physical fashion like sex. Try dating another asexual or someone who at least understands and is willing to work with you.
Yes looks like you doomed to stay alone, most men don't want an sexless relationship.
tvtropes.org/.../ImAManICantHelpIt
Just find an asexual guy to be with. You're not the only asexual person in the world. I'm fairly sure there are dating sites for asexuals.
You cannot tell if you are asexual unless you had sex at least once. When i was younger, until about 19 i thought I was asexual too. Never had any desire and even disgust. But then i lost my virginity and BOOM i love sex lol
Look into dating asexuals.
No, they aren't common so you will likely need to use a dating site specifically targeting them.
Best of luck to you.
Being asexual doesn't mean you can't have sexual relationship. Get yourself out there in the dating world!
That was a nice link. Clarifies a few things, but it does seem to leave with just looking for another asexual person. Maybe there is a dating site? There is one for everything these days.
There is an asexual community site with lots of help in understanding youself
Maybe try to meet other asexuals? Are you open to relationships with both genders?
If you fall for a non-asexual, would you be willing to have sex? Obviously you shouldn't if you don't want to.
Find an asexual guy? Although a lot of them have no interest in cohabitation with a female.
But we can still always mingle even if ur an asexual right?
It's called making friends and having hobbies, that's how you deal with it.
nah just find someone whose personality you like, there are a lot more people out there that are asexual then you think. :)
It's subject to change... wait till u find the right guy... you will see
How sure are you that you're actually asexual?
What is meant by your A Sexual?
Not even a quick kiss from anyone?
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