I hit my girlfriend and now she's scared of me?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of 5 years and I got into a really BIG argument. This was because I saw her and a guy friend of hers talking, and they seemed to be flirting. When we got home I was pissed which lead to the argument. We were yelling and screaming at each other, but she did it the most. She told me there was nothing between them. I guess out of jealousy and anger I did the worst thing in my whole life.

I hit her hard in her arm and I held her throat and grabbed her. I pushed her against the wall and began to kiss her neck aggressively. Then I pinned her down on the bed, and I shamefully was about to rape her. She was crying so much and telling me to stop, I didn't rape her but instead Continued to hit her!

I realised all the mistake I had done, and regretted it. She went it to the bath room to hide from me I opened the door of the bathroom to find her sitting inside the bath tub, with her arms holding her legs and she was crying. When I came to her, to touch her and say sorry, she told me to get away and I could see she was afraid of me. Then she quickly got up and ran. I tried to chase her to apologise but she had already gone. I've tried to ring her and text her to apologise but she won't answer or reply. I've tried giving her gifts.

I am deepfully sorry for everything I did to her during that moment. I know I was wrong. I know I am responsible for my actions. I know she has every right to leave me. We've been together for 5 years and I have never since laid my hand on her til that night. I don't want it to end, I love her so much. It was a big mistake that I regret doing. I know I will never ever in my life lay my hand on a woman again. I think that the end of this relationship may have come, but I don't want it to cos she is everything to me. I ask even just for forgiveness from her. But I know without her, I would rather die than not be with her.

What should I do?

[Kingbanquolear]

It's too late. You don't want it to end? It ended the moment you put a hand on her.
You're sorry? It's too late for that.

Remember what I'm about to tell you for the rest of your life my friend, actions can't be taken back. You can apologize till you die, but it won't take back what you did. Maybe you do truly feel sorry, but she is entitled to (in my opinion, quite rightly) to never forgive you. You committed a big mistake, and the worst part is you have to carry it with you for the rest of your life.

My Advice:
Leave the poor girl alone. You had your chance and you showed her a part of life no woman should ever have to experience. I never wish bad upon anyone, but remember, everyone recieves their punishment eventually.

P. s. Don't go searching for another relationship until you learn to control yourself and stay within your limits. It'll just ruin the life of another poor woman

[ThePragmaticRomantic]

Not throwing blame or anything around, but after that, I think it's probably best for both of you if you call it a day. She's not going to trust you for a while, and if she does accept you back it will hurt her deeply inside. Meanwhile the regret and shame will probably eat at you, untill you resent that she makes you feel that way, or your actions dont seem so bad any more.
Either way it's not healthy for either of you.
You need not to be in a relationship which can make you act like that. She needs not to fear that it will happen again.

[archiz]

Ok first, fuck you.
2nd of course she won t come back to you and i sure hope she won t!
3rd you need to go to a specialist and learn how to control yourself.
Once you lay a hand on a woman it s very probable that you ll do it again. And if she forgives you, (i don t think she will) you ll never understand the gravity of what you did. You ll it easier next time.
Anyway i wish tou luck, everyone makes mistakes, some bigger than others, but i sure hope that you ll learn from it.

[emupost]

you are disgusting and if you have any decency you would hand yourself in to the police for attempting to rape her and hittingg her, I have no sympathy for you i dont respect anyone who thinks its o to hit a woman even if you do feel bad about it and say its wrong. YOU DONT DESERVE HER AND NEVER WILL

[Ubervetjes]

Thanks to you this girl is now damaged.. if you want to act like a man.. go to the police and tell what you've done.. and see a psychiatrist..

[NoOneWasWatching]

YOU DID NOT JUST HIT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. .5 POINTS FOR NOT COMPLETING THE RAPE YOU SHOWED HER YOU ARE CAPABLE OF, if you can control yourself. And that You WOULD angery force Her, in punishment, and enjoy it.

You could not have confirmed stronger, harder or better what others say about "Men think a Woman might ________. Women think a Man might kill Us". In our mammalian brain section, We know We are unlikely to be bigger, stronger or faster than an aggressor (statistically physically, nobody pull arms, or exceptions). You did a wonderful job at training a victim.


1) If She does not please or submit She will be forced to, and it will physically hurt. She can't make that punishment stop, light or hard, take it. Only worse if You fight.


2) After some pain subsides evaluate survival. (DO NOT EVEN SAY YOU WOULD NEVER- You would never INTENTIONALLY- when in a manic rage). Your life is literally in the hands of an attacker (so many possible on neck) therefor You literally threatened Her LIFE, after making sure that She knew resistance was futile! (dang borgs ).

-keep fighting, despite guaranteed pain, possible head neck morbidity prolonged pain.

OR

-At least if He iis focused on the other thing (sorry too rough) He will not chock Me, kill Me (accident or not) or keep inflicting pain.


3) Then gallantly don't take what you had set up, which seems like You weren't done roughing Her up (punish) to Your satisfaction. And then make certain she knows its only the benevolence of a stronger, bigger person, in a fight where She had no chance with those as the criteria, and made SURE She feels it tomorrow.

Someday, someone is going to touch Her somewhere, or be in Her arms when She flinches at something on TV. They may even cry, not in front of Her, knowing a hand was there in pain She fights away, to not burden them.


shameful, and discressionarry maybe?, would have ended on You knees on the floor 2 seconds after You struck her ONCE. What could She have realistically done to stop You.


someone might come hunt you down if you say 'she should have known better than to...….'

[Bugeyes]

As a woman who is in an abusive relationship your words and admitting that a problem is happening is a possibility to a better outcome for you. My abusive relationship he won't admit what he does. You can get help for yourself. Maybe she can heal too maybe not. I'm working on healing even though he isn't. I know I will be okay. I hope you can grow to be stronger and teach others how to love within before loving without.

[NotMyUsername15]

The relationship ending should be the least of your concerns, you should be more worried if whether or not she's at the police station filling a report against you.

[cookieman12]

The way you described it seemed harsh on your part. No offense, but I personally think its over between the two of you. Since she can't forgive you, no matter how hard you try, then there is no point of trying anymore. I would not even be surprised if she called the police or filed a report against you.

[MzAsh]

You’re lying. If you can do something like that once, you’re likely to do it again. You should be in prison.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure what will happen. She can take you back or not. It's really difficult situation.

[BrianSmith]

The trust is gone. She can't stay with you.

[Anonymous]

You should tell us where you live.