What do you think of people who need a lot of affection?

Question

I'm curious

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

What do you think ‘ alot’ is?

Maybe give us a reference point, then we can say if that is us or not.

All I can tell from the answers is many people feel a lot of shame admitting they need affection. Humans need affection, it’s just how we are. Healthy people are ok acknowledging this. Insecure people can not just be content to feel the way they feel but ahve to be repulsed by someone else feeling the way _ they_ do.

Everyone will want differing amounts of different things at different points in their life. But affection is one of the thjngs we all will need and whether we can recognize it or not is another matter.

But as im sure it’s been said ( we’ll im saying it anyhow lol) be wary of the person who claims that don’t need by daylight, . they will steel what they need in the dark. I like it and ahve much respect when people have the confidence to be honest. Especially about thjngs like affection that are not on the ‘cool list’.

People who are not loved become violent. And many people would rather say they beat the shit out if someone than ask for a hug. This is our world and this repulsion towards our own humanity, is how we are going to wipe ourselves out if existence. Shame.

Mikayla3 · Accepted Answer

I think we are not happy with ourselves. Or, we find more happiness in the other to complete what is missing in us. Maybe? For some... it is "real" love! The sad part of being an emotionally needy person is when it is not reciprocated. You feel incomplete and lost. I was never one of these people. Till October of last year. When, I feel in love for the first time in my whole life. But, he don't know that he is the only person that I have actually loved. I had measures of it for those before him. Was never like this... so the only thing I can tell anyone. Is be very careful who you meet, trust, fall for... keep your guard till you get to know that persons character. How they are as a person and before you sleep with one and join your soul. Ask yourself one question. "Do I want to share blood?" Believe me, this will keep you from a world of heartbreaks... and you will be most likely to find a reciprocated love. Good luck affectionate one's. Much ❤️

devi13 · Accepted Answer

Some people really need affection because they never get affection from their family or other people who around them. Don't reject it because we never know if they need affeection just because they want or they need (i mean some people have personality disorder) if you rejected, it will broke them heart and they can do anything what they want. Sometime it have consequences will hurt themself

Fitness-Fanatic · Accepted Answer

I thrive on affection. I love giving and receiving affection. Especially spontaneous hugs and kisses. I couldn't be with a guy who wasn't affectionate. That would be a deal breaker for me. Affection makes me feel loved, wanted and safe

Musicgeek21 · Accepted Answer

I think its natural and is an important part of humans behaviorial ecosystem This is a gray area and can be quite fragile. Some people just are more tactile and physical affection is how they are satisfied. Trauma/neglect can be involved, but not in every case. When it comes down to it, every single person, shy or open, likes touch or hates it, wants to feel loved and appreciated because each and every person deep down has some insecurity and questions their worth as a human to society in reference to other members. If someone wants a hug give it to them, if they dont than dont. Some people need more than one a day some only need one a week. Physical affection is one of the ways we communicate with each other. A hug means trust and acceptance. A kiss means (I love you chemically) its complicated to explain...

JohnW42 · Accepted Answer

They missed out on affection in their life. Either growing up in a household, disfunctional family, or past relationships. They want to feel loved and wanted. They want to know that their significant other is there. There's nothing wrong with this. One has to be really into this person to meet their needs.

Mexicoman101 · Answer

I generally thrive on affection so for me there's a lot to relate with in people like that. What makes me worried is when the line is blurred and it becomes more like neediness, or clinginess. My first girlfriend would constantly lay her head on my shoulder whenever we were around people & it became a lot like fucking a pet puppy dog or something. As long as you respect boundaries & demonstrate a willingness to reciprocate affection, I don't see it as anything but a plus to meet someone like that.

yosecretsquirrel · Answer

I guess it would depend on the degree of intensity and the reasons. There is a point at which it moves from being a sensitive person thirsting for the attention of that special person to that of a Mental disorder such as borderline personality disorder. In the case of the former, I would say it's ok provided it is mutual but might need to be attenuated a bit to keep it mutual. In the case of the latter, it is unhealthy on the low end and dangerous on the high end. Seeking constant validation from another is a clear sign of high levels of personal insecurity, but if it's Borderline Personality Disorder it can destroy lives, literally.

TheEpicIrishman · Answer

I think it depends on the dynamic of the relationship. I've been both the needy one and not so needy one. If it doesn't become overbearing for the other partner and doesn't distract them from their responsibilities, then it should be fine. However, I've also seen some people demand heavy amounts of affection from their partner, so much to the point said needy person expects their partner to make them the number one priority in their lives before work, school, family, and friends. That kind of dedication only comes with time, and demanding it so soon will chase the partner off or make them miserable.

cumsinbuckets · Answer

well first of all, my opinion is that people who need a lot of affection trying to compensate for a childhood of of tragety. but they do not always snap out of their neediness, I am a man of 46 years highly affectionate, but also deeply emotionally scarred do to the constant standoffishness of "some people" that think they are doing a favor to those of the more needy nature pushing them away, thus making them like me towhere I'm single no want or need for "human" so to speak contact from either sex I'm so glad to know that there is so many people out there that do not need the affection of others your world must be so perfect and sterile , that I for one cannot wait for your moment of weakness, so that if I'm around you I'll just tell you to suck it up cupcake that's life

Zackskullz73 · Answer

I just had to ask, is this the kind of people who whine that that people didn't gave them much of it? or is this person kinda have the short end of the stick through out their lives and need some love in their hearts?

If it's the former, I'd say "I pity the people who have to tolerate you."

If it's the latter, well all they need is a bit of love ya know. why don't you spare some time and get to know what got them this way...

luvstoned4him · Answer

I just think thats their nature or that they lacked maternal love and assurance.

As a child I never received love , I watched my parents fight and be constantly at each other's throats and everything I did for my mom wasn't good enough so I always had low confidence or felt that I wasn't good enough. Its hard now for me to openly show love or accept praise for something I create because I never really felt like I deserved it.

existing_not_living · Answer

I think they are probably people who have been through some kind of trauma in their life or were never given the affection they needed from their family. I know I wasn't which is why I'm so affectionate and feel hurt when others aren't the same way with me. However I'm not a needy person. I just sometimes need a little extra lovin'.

SoManyQs · Answer

Everyone is different. Sure, some don't love PDA, but others do. Some don't like being fussed over, and others revel for it. Like I said, everyone's different. We all crave some kind of affection through different ways. Who's to say which way is the right way?

OceanVibes · Answer

I believe it is very normal to want affection and also to give affection, usually warm souls need more of it. Affection can give a beautiful purpose to someone's life, sometimes it is like a ray of sun, other times like a snowflake, maybe a leaf or a summer wind and like the seasons we need it, some of us need a whole lot of it becouse maybe they lacked for it at a certain time. I think they are very normal people and I am inclined to like them more then others and can connect better with them.

Midnight_Rose97 · Answer

They're usually people who need that affection to heal, there is almost always a reason behind the way they feel. Past trauma, bad relationships e. t. c
I like loving people like this because at least I'm not classed as overbearing with love lol

spoonman2014 · Answer

I can go either way depending on the context, if you are a friends with benefits I'll barely give any affection, enough that I'm not a total douche but that has lead girls to being upset and so that ends. But then when i''m in a relationship i'm like a rescue pitbull you see on the dodo website and some girls have been annoyed or felt uncomfortable by it

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

We all have a certain amount of affection we want in a relationship
not all people are the same , some need less , some want more it
all depends the person them self. I'm a very affectionate guy and
i like girls who are very affectionate but everyone has their right
to be who they are.

Babsie1984 · Answer

Some people are just more affectionate, but it can also be a security thing for people that have low self esteem.

Lycaneye · Answer

I personally need it.. but I was very suffocating in my younger days.. so I thinks it's healthy with a lot of affection and those who need it, should have it.. but they should be careful not to only focus on their own needs.

Anonymous · Answer

I was in a relationship with someone who needed a lot of affection and broke up with them because I felt like I could never be what they need and they deserved someone who could... they came across as needy to me but that's just because I'm not super affectionate.

OhButterscotch · Answer

I am one of them and I love giving affection/getting affection in different ways.

Paul1964 · Answer

They're insecure and clingy.

Too much need for affection can be damaging as it smothers the other partner. However, from a mans point of view spontaneously showing affection like brushing her butt and cuddling and pecking her is lovely at the right moment and will mean more to her making her feel sexy and attractive but showering her in affection will make her feel the opposite and could push her away leaving her to believe that your too needy.

SorrowPlays · Answer

If the attention is returned back, then it is okay and reasonable. Some people need reassuring.

Calixx · Answer

I need a lot of affection/attention. My boyfriend doesn't give me nearly as much as I need, I am often hurt by this. But I know he just expresses love differently

Goodwifie · Answer

I love giving and receiving affection from my husband.  I show affection towards my children.

Alistayr · Answer

I love them, they're sweet, they are the best thing ever. Did I say, I love them. I worship the ground they walk on. They really are the greatest. How could anyone not like them.

Peachman · Answer

I think its normal and there is generally a reason behind it

gtjrh4zrfg · Answer

Almost lost a friend because of this. I mean I couldn't give him/her much affection/attention during maybe... 2 weeks? Went full retard thinking I don't like to hang out with him/her anymore... blablabla

Daniel3035 · Answer

They're the most loyal and trustworthy people because they're so open about it and how they want affection they're not scared to say it. Which is rare too.

backtoblackkkk · Answer

I think those kinds of people are desperate. Some affection is okay but there's a point when it gets annoying. I don't want to have to kiss and hold a guy's hand all the time. That's a turn-off because it shows that the guy is weak and needy.

deraz24 · Answer

I don't know it shouldn't be too excessive bc no one should put that much power over them in another person's hands but its nice to know that you're cared for, loved whatever. Reassurance is nvr bad to me

Cafrinn · Answer

Exhausting. I know people like this, and it just becomes tiring. A constant need for affection is a constant need for attention, and I think people who demand this need to a) be more self-aware and b) become more self-sufficient.

dannymexico90 · Answer

It's not a need. Only insecure people have the need. It's a want. Like I just started dating a chick who loves to hold on in public and loves to cuddle a lot in bed. I don't mind because I'm the same way.

vishna · Answer

Cute in the beginning-but it can get old quickly if that's just not the way you love. The chance runs they may feel neglected when you truly adore them.

Hidden_P · Answer

Each to their own. I'm clingy and I know it. My boyfriend is somewhat aloof. But we work. I don't think I could deal with a clingy person... It depends on the definition of clingy

daffodile · Answer

I'm not overly affectionate except towards my daughter, but it could be many reasons some that stick out for me is a lack of confidence perhaps they lacked love from their parents which is sad. Some people are just more touchy feely so they need it.

Streamhopper · Answer

I like affection. I'm not high maintenance, but I do like affection. Holding hands, hugging, light kisses in public. Hiding little notes to be found, sending random flowers. It's just how I am.

graemerogers97 · Answer

IN A NUT SHELL, EVERYONE NERDS AND YEARNS FOR SOME KIND OF ATTENTION. BECAUSE WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT + NEED, WELL I WILL TELL YOU. EVERYBODY NEEDS LOVED + NEEDED. I KNOW IT FOR A FACT... because I am a unbelievable "DRAMA QUEEN". AT THE BEST OF TIMES🔹

Spongebob1235 · Answer

I dont think anything of people who need a lot of affection.  I personally am not very good at giving or receiving a lot of it as i feel smoothered and uncomfortable. I like it... in small doses

DisneyDude · Answer

I know I would need attention...

Part of a relationship is what YOU need as well, so if they need a certain type and amount of attention that doesn't jive with you AND they don't have other aspects of themselves that make the attention-needing worth it to you in the relationship, then they might not be for you.

hahahmm · Answer

In my experience people like that are self-centered and bad news in a relationship but if they could be as good at giving as they are at taking I guess it would balance out

zombiebabe · Answer

they're been hurt at some point in their lives and require more affection.. nothing bad about it unless its one of those simply thirsty people

SuitAndTie · Answer

I think they're human and want to be loved, just like everybody else.

Dd125 · Answer

Ig id think that they are needy, but then again nothing is wrong with some love/affection. I love my space though, and so if it is over done it's annoying.

mooky06 · Answer

I love to feel loved. There shouldn't be a problem with that.  People have that sort of desire and want in their life. It's not uncommon

FatherJack · Answer

If they are male , it would be a handicap in life. Men are shown much less affection from boyhood onward , than women , so most of us function fine with little to none. We have less emotionally wired brains too , fortunately for us.

AshrafWest · Answer

People who need a lot of affection can give a lot if affection. And suck kind of women always make good mothers and wives

Anonymous · Answer

My friend says he loves affection through touch because he lost his dad and brother when he was younger. The places he loves to touch... butt, chest, hips & waist. Anybody else think that his story is a way to get girls to let him touch them?

blunttalker · Answer

I'm one... so I think that they just gotta lot of love to give , they're passionate , they love passion and that's what they want in a relationship

LittleSally · Answer

That they probably have some emotional issues... insecurities, lack of the same in their home as children...

mslemons · Answer

i think a relationship definitely need 'affection'. i lost that wig my best friend and it's no longer a relationship anymore

Anticipation · Answer

it only works, when there is mutual mental connection. If the couple are really into each other they are able to find that balance.

Drifter83UK · Answer

I find it odd. I do somewhat empathise, but as a person who doesn't show feelings too often my logic would be that...

momo770 · Answer

There's something wrong with somebody who is clingy. I don't have time in my life for that kind of person. I empathize with them, but I would not be with them.

JustRollTheDice · Answer

I'm not the biggest fan and I enjoy my personal space and having 'me time'

innocentflower · Answer

Lmao I am one of those people who need affection not necessarily attention seeking just would like affection in a relationship

ATuairiscean · Answer

Very good question - Within a relationship some would love it while others would think they are clingy - A lot depends on relationship dynamic

Robsinsf53 · Answer

I think they have underlying issues that need to be addressed or she/he will always be looking for someone who may not exist.

lightning32 · Answer

it's cute until it's clingy. they need to give time for you to live away from them too.

Sugarsugar1998 · Answer

I think that's normal. even better if they're honest and blunt.

ShortCircuit · Answer

I am one of those people lol.

Paris13 · Answer

Starved for Love for some Reason of their own Season. Probably stems from their Childhood. xx

BlondieGirl_ · Answer

I'm like that but I can't help it, they just need love.

RexCatholicissimus · Answer

I suppose it's better than not wanting any affection at all.

xXHozanXX · Answer

Well if they're really hot it's good but despite that... I wouldn't wanna know them in the case of a zombie apocolypse!

What do you think of people who need a lot of affection?

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