When someone tells you to "calm down" when angry, has it ever actually calmed you down?

Question

vishna · Accepted Answer

No one tells me that... I don't think I get really mad very often. If anything I just rant and tell it dramatically haha. I don't think I'm a very heated person.

Lol but because I am so chill, I sometimes don't understand why people are so mad haha. So, yea, I know I'm guilty of saying 'calm down' to people. However :3 some of the people in my life are sorta whiny and need to grow up and take a chill pill <3

Bliss-taylor · Accepted Answer

It can. I've had moments where I was getting irrationally pissed. He tells me to calm down in a soothing voice. Not in an irritated one and I most of the time walk away and take a breath because I realized I was being a bitch. But when someone tells me it as if they can order me to calm down, when they literally just pissed me off and they knew that was going to be the outcome. Yeah, It makes it way worse.

Quintessence · Accepted Answer

It really depends on how they say it. And WHO is saying it.
If it's spoken in a derisive manner, intended to further agitate me, and is said by the person who is the object of my anger, then agitation is the effect it will have.
If it's spoken in a sensible, sagely, reassurant manner by someone outside the focal point of my anger, then yes, it does help calm me down.

BleepRawrsaurus_Rex · Accepted Answer

Fuck no

GreedyGiver651 · Accepted Answer

No... Also, can I ask... Does it ever help when someone freaks out and asks "what's wrong? " or "are you okay?" after you stub your toe or hit a nerve. Like immidiately after? I hate that... If I'm cursing and jumping around I don't want to immediately explain what happened.

Decentguy · Accepted Answer

it made me more angry lol

just_tired · Answer

I get angry so rarely, I'm not sure, if anyone's ever said that to me :D If I wan't absolutely mad, it might just work with the right tone

Izumiblu · Answer

Yeah, would depend on who’s saying it generally but yeah it has. There are a few people that I actually listen to, you know, most of the time. Occasionally I’ll get mad enough I won’t listen but I’d be maxed out and I wouldn’t be able to get more angry at least.

mattai787 · Answer

See if I know that I am right in the situation and someone is trying to exploit me.. I remain angry.. However if someone tells me to calm down and explains to me that the entire thing is a misunderstanding.. I'd calm down immediately.. Given the reasoning is genuine!

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

Nothing is more annoying than "handler speak/jargon" when I'm upset and/or agitated over something. I never want to be talked down to (talk WITH me; not TO me or AT me) or have someone be unintentionally condescending... especially when I'm angry. Makes for a nice story afterwards, though...

HungLikeAHorsefly · Answer

Nah. I have seen a technique called something like "match & escalate" used successfully in which you agree with the upset person, escalate it by yelling louder, then de-escalate once they realize you're in agreement.

Time_Still · Answer

Depends on who say it and when.

If someone tells me to calm down when they have clearly lost control of the situation and it all depends on me to make it right, I snap.
If someone is trying to help me, I actually do calm down.

JimRSmith · Answer

I think it can sometimes work, depending on who says it and how.  One of my mates is a 6'4" former Lieutenant Colonel. When he tells people to calm down, it never fails to work...

anmari2001 · Answer

Kinda like this but nobody takes me seriously, damn baby face and baby voice

SirRexington · Answer

Usually it further engulfs me in fire made of my rage. But depending on who it is and how they say it then it can calm me down.

Like if a friend holds me and tells me to calm down in a relaxed tone I'm more likely to relax rather than stay angry. Though it isn't a guarantee.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Not really but it makes me think there might be an intelligent way to manage my issue that I haven't considered yet.

Elliegirl · Answer

It usually works when my boyfriend tells me to calm down. When other people tell me to calm down, it often just pisses me off.

LegateLanius · Answer

I try to make sure that I don't get angry and that actually helps point out when I have lost composure.

Pinay_ako · Answer

It's like someone adding more fuel to the fire to me. So let me calm down on my own.

Papavera · Answer

'DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN KJRAGLNBK XNHYXKLJGVHLKJNKBXKKJVNBSVBJLBVJ!!!' It usually ends up like that.

llorando · Answer

Nope, it takes a lot to make me angry (which rarely happens), so when I'm angry it takes way more than someone telling me to clam down for me to actually calm down.

GracefulCharm · Answer

If I wasn't calm, I wouldn't be able to hit a moving target with one shot from this glock could I? Bang bang, tell me to calm down now! HUH!

Charleslvajr · Answer

I want to throat punch a person who says that. Usually, I tell people to step away at least 10 feet until I speak to them. It's safer that way.

AlphaStyles · Answer

Me after they tell me to calm down

Flower-petal · Answer

Oh I frikken hate to be told to calm down lmfao!! @rockrewls

MaiaLikesAnime · Answer

No one has ever told me to calm down when I'm angry.

Blake0048 · Answer

No its a passive aggressive statement much like "are you ok?"

LeeKenz · Answer

Nope. But when I’m calm and they tell me to calm down it’s even worse

Coconut_Man · Answer

I'm always calm so if they tell me to calm down... I lose my shit.

Starstrucker · Answer

Depends on the situation and the way they say it.. if a person says calm down in a mocking way or says it in a wrong situation anyone would get mad.. thats why sometimes silence is the best answer...

AM-205 · Answer

I wouldn't know, because no one ever tells me! (Chuckie... yikes.)

Uhhjsshshdh · Answer

If it's someone that I want to look good in front of, maybe

lordhossein · Answer

Yes, if he or she tell me the right way, it has its effects

That2kKid21 · Answer

Nah, it cools the situation for me. But I guess it depends on who tells me to calm down...

Anonymous · Answer

I can definitely say it works for me. As long as it's not like a mocking tone or anything like that.

xZoeyx · Answer

It depends on who said it and if I'm in the mood to cooperate lol

Whatthefluff · Answer

Nope lol. It never does

lizziepooh03 · Answer

No - it usually just makes me more upset. :(

_NoOneImportant_ · Answer

No, it just makes feel all ashamed and embarrassed

freakyzeaky · Answer

"Deep breaths" hahahaha! jk jk

TheIceCreamQueen · Answer

Usually makes me more mad ngl

ShesAmerican · Answer

No I even get more pissed LOL

effyourfeelings · Answer

No It made me more angry

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

Yes, right after I punched him in the head

Nadia1994 · Answer

Most of the times no.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No i think it just makes things worst.

beebella · Answer

No. Words don't calm me down.

Anonymous · Answer

No, never. Probably the exact opposite

DarkerThanGrey · Answer

Hahahs, yes but depends on the person.

Rubified94 · Answer

Never... they only make it worse.

Waffles731 · Answer

Usually it pissws me off

PoliceLivesMatter · Answer

It actually has

Omar5881 · Answer

Its makes it worse lol

scooogy · Answer

No, it just aggrevates me more

sidvt · Answer

Depends on the person who says it

CarpetDenim · Answer

Usually, yes.

LoveBirb · Answer

It really depends on the way Its said.

AnotherRedAccount · Answer

No, because I'm never angry

9teen · Answer

Sounds good, doesn't work.

cherryphi82 · Answer

Not a chance

omgjassy · Answer

I go crazy

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

I'm always calm

CrazyyChick · Answer

Nope never

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

A few times, yeah.

clampfan101 · Answer

No way.

metalman12 · Answer

Hell no

When someone tells you to "calm down" when angry, has it ever actually calmed you down?

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When someone tells you to "calm down" when angry, has it ever actually calmed you down?

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