Would you tell a stranger of the opposite gender when their zippers down?

[Anonymous]

The guy who sits next to me in class today had his fly wide open for the entire 2 hour and 30 minute period. It was positively gaping and I couldn't help but stare. Like the flap thing that's normally behind the zipper to cover you up just wasn't there so his boxers and bulge were clearly visible!!! I was too nervous to tell him and I felt kinda bad when he walked out of class, totally oblivious to how badly he was embarrassing himself. (My friends at least got a kick out of the pictures I sent them!) But back to my question-- obviously in this instance I chose not to say anything to him even though I definitely should have. I fell like if it were a girl though I might have let her know. Girls-- would you tell this man? Guys-- if it were a girl with her fly open would you say something? Just curious

Updates

+1 y

Ok geez guys I didn't expect this kind of backlash. It was funny! Just to give you some context on the whole 'me taking pictures of his open zipper' thing-- I didn't even think to take pictures until I noticed the girl on the other side of him holding her phone suspiciously. That girl even asked me if I noticed his open zipper after class and I was like, "of course!". We had a good laugh about it. His boxers were bright red with little white hearts! I was mesmerized the whole class period lol

[Huntfortruth]

I have and I would tell them.
Is it awkward? Yeah, but it's the nice thing to do especially when done in a subtle and respectful way. Plus it potentially saves the stranger from a much more awkward incident.
Side note: Taking photos was definitely inconsiderate, inappropriate and imature in my option.
There is noway a guy would get away with doing that. That behavior is no different and no better than that of an Up-skirter.

[Asker]

ok yeah it was all of those things. Inconsiderate, inappropriate and definitely immature. But I don't think it compares to looking up girls skirts. Guys do that for sexual gratification. This was just for the purpose of comedy!! My friends definitely thought the pictures were funny-- (they kept asking for updates and I had to keep sending new pics lol). I don't know what the other girl in class taking pictures was using them for but as for me: I don't think my actions resemble that of an up-skirter. I really didn't think including that detail would be so controversial...

[Huntfortruth]

I get the point you are trying to make but your intentions in no way change that fact that is was wrong.
It does indeed resemble and fit in the same category as an Up-skirter.

Let look at it this way.
A guy gos to a mall and takes up- skirting videos of young women over the age of 18 without their knowledge and without their consent and when he cought he could says that he is not a pervert and his "intentions" are pure.

He only did it because his friends dared him to as a "joke"

Or it was part of an initiation into a fraternity and was harmless.

Does that make up-skirting. Okay?

[Huntfortruth]

( I'm going to use an analogy that's far different from anything sexual or with the human body).

It is Illegal to break into someone's house. A B&E breaking and entering
Pretty cut and dry.

Now let's say I let a friend borrow my diamond earrings, so she could wear them to a party. Only that was a week ago and she never gave them back.
So I decide to break into her house while she's at work and take back my earrings.
...
Her neighbor see me and calls the cops.
I have broken the law
My friend has ever right to press charges and they will stick.
I broke the law.
My "intentions" were just to get my earing, but that does not change the fact that I broke the law.
If I am charged I will be charged with a B&E no different from any other criminal who broke into private property... despite what their "intentions" were..

[Asker]

You're probably right in that, legally speaking, taking pictures of his wide open zipper falls into the same category as an upskirt. But the social implications aren't anywhere near the same!
But back to my original question since you're actually taking the time to respond: in my situation do you really think you could muster the courage to say something to him? Like I was about to when I saw him walking to his seat but then he sat down and his fly spread apart like crazy and I got too flustered. Then after debating with myself for 10 minutes I decided I'd be too embarrassed to tell him-- it would imply that I knew about his obviously open fly the whole time! (Because how could I not!) Even in hindsight I'm glad I didn't because the view and my friends hilarious reactions were worth it. Even if they were at that poor guys expense mwhahaha

[ravedave]

Even after all the feedback, even after everyone pointing out how shitty it was, you're still completely unapologetic and even laughing at the guy. What in the fuck...

[Huntfortruth]

Yes. I would muster the courage, suck it up and tell him. I don't think I could let him leave the room without letting him him know.
I have done so before. I feel it's the right thing to do and alway appreciate when others have let me know about somthing I could not see or was unaware of.

[Huntfortruth]

Just really quickly. You said that the
"social implications aren't anywhere near the same!"
Do you see how that's a huge problem?

Why is the male victim somehow less important then the female victim?

How is the same action less serious or pess wrong?

Secondly. If you "got too flustered" and "decided I'd be too embarrassed to tell him"
Then you clearly realised this was an embarrising situation, why would you laugh at him even if it was behind his back. His zipper was down, not a big deal but you chose to take this tiny accident and exploit his situation for you and your friends entertainment.
Not cool.

[ravedave]

As emotional as I get on double standards and bs views on male consent and victimhood, I really appreciate when there are women out there who can see the subject from a progressive light. Really appreciate it @Huntfortruth

[Huntfortruth]

@ravedave
I have zero tolerance for double standards. I find it mind boggling that there are people who refuse to acknowledge double standards or don't see how wrong it is.

Empathy is such an important thing!! Yet it gets lost in a culture of blindly following the latest hashtags and popular "movements" or " cause" of the month or week.

[Meninist]

@Huntfortruth thanks for being a voice from the female gender that voices her concern over what @malizard did.

@Malizard I’ve got another question; would you tell him you took photos of his open zipper?

[Asker]

alright @Meninist whats it gonna take for me to atone for this grievous sin. No way am I gonna admit to taking pictures of his open fly to him. Honestly I'd rather leave MY fly wide open for a day and act oblivious. And if I noticed someone taking pictures I wouldn't even care. Dare me dude

[ravedave]

Literally just have an OUNCE of remorse or a legitimate admission of the fact that what you did was wrong. You have multiple men and women explain why what you did was fucked up, and yet you don't give a fuck. You continue laughing about the whole situation with absolutely no remorse, it's disgusting.

[VeryCuteEyes]

Yup, just to save the person a ton of embarrassment.

[ChaseParker]

Lol it's like my friend that's a girl. She often would have it where one of the buttons on her button up would come undone near the middle where the boobs are. She told me that if it happened I shouldn't be embarrassed to tell her like another guy had been too embarrassed to tell her. He didn't want to make it seem like he was checking her out. But tbh, I didn't always tell her because it looked really nice 😰😬

[FakeName123]

Well, ask yourself how you would feel if someone took pictures of you in the same situation?

Personally I don't find it a big deal as long as you don't make a picture of the incident and his face (so it can't be identified), but I can see the argument of privacy and such.

[Asker]

No his face wasn't in the picture-- I barely know the guy anyway. I just told my group chat that this guy I was sitting next to had his fly wide open and they were like 'prove it'. So I just said 'ok' and sent them a picture. Honestly at the time I didn't think I was being very daring or cruel. Inconsiderate yes but, I mean, I didn't think I was doing anything worse than not telling him in the first place.

[FakeName123]

I didn't ask you to justify yourself defensively. I asked you, how YOU would feel about it if the roles were reversed.

[DeterMind]

I don't think telling or not telling is the point here. You took pictures and sent them to friends without him knowing. Yet if a male did that to a female he would be thrown out of school, fired from his job, and lose his friends. Gotta love the double standard.

[ravedave]

And yet even when she's confronted by all the guys here explaining how much of a double standard it is, and how creepy it was to do, she says she'd do it again.

Man, the double standards we have towards men's rights, consent, and harassment is so fucked up. The perpetrators can't even recognize how fucked up their actions are.

[DeterMind]

So true! How would anyone be able to say that this situation was ok, but in reverse it wouldn't be? It doesn't make any sense. Women want equal rights, but don't want to give up the right that they hold and men don't. Apparently they don't realize they can't have everything.

[Meninist]

@ravedave this is a man deserving of the #metoo badge that’s sling around these days.

[DeterMind]

Updated the question to say "it was funny!" Except it wasn't. Would you be laughing if a guy did that to you? And "I only thought of it after I saw someone else do it" ohhh yeah that makes sense, see someone else stab someone and now I'm gonna do it too. What kind of logic is that?

[ravedave]

Lol I appreciate it, I hate double standards like it.

Yeah honestly her update made it sound even worse. Trying to justify this behavior by saying "but someone else did it" is disgusting.

[Meninist]

@ravedave when I say “this is a man” I meant the guy in OP’s story.
But good points in this thread, Dave. 👌

[Meninist]

And good points made by Deter mind too.

[CoffeeWC]

If that guy found out you were staring at his boxers the whole period, he'd be pissed, not only because of what you did, but also because you didn't tell him anything. If I noticed something like that on a girl I would tell her. And I would not take pictures.

[Meninist]

So let me get this straight you took photos of a man during a wardrobe malfunction?

Do you think it’s right for men to take pictures of women in that position?

[Meninist]

And not only take the picture but then share it with their friends

[ravedave]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that caught that detail 🤨

[Meninist]

@ravedave the double standards of women these days sickens me.

[Asker]

It was with my friends and I mean cmon... its funny! It's not like his dick was hanging out. Look I didn't even think to take pictures until I noticed the girl on the other side of him holding phone suspiciously. And if he got to his next class without realizing his fly was wide open then I bet we're not the only ones.

[Meninist]

So if one girl does it, you do it.

So if Harvey weinstein touches up women, all men can do it?

So what if you are with your friends? Do you think it’s okay if men take photos of women during a wardrobe malfunction (without consent) and then share it to their friends? Answer that question

[Meninist]

What you did was wrong and you know it.

[Meninist]

And just look at what the other men here are saying.

You fucked up, pervert.

[ravedave]

You at least recognize how creepy you were being right? How would you feel if this happened to you and you found out some guy took pictures and sent them to all his friends?

Are you honestly telling me you don't see the problem here?

[DeterMind]

With your friends huh? Why does that matter? And I don't think anyone is laughing. Especially not him after he found out his fly way open the whole time.

[Meninist]

Men standing in solidarity against injustice is what I live for.

[Meninist]

@Malizard

“Guys-- if it were a girl with her fly open would you say something? “ I certainly wouldn’t take pictures of her and show it to all my friends. And the worst part is, for men that’s a serious allegation, we could get into a lot of trouble. But for you, a woman, to do it is no problem.

Hypocrites these days.

[ravedave]

@Malizard
You realize your update doesn't make you sound any better right? Just because someone else joined it doesn't make it okay. If a guy notices one guy trying to take pictures of a girl's panties without her knowledge, that doesn't somehow magically mean everyone is allowed to do it.

How do you not understand why this is fucked up?

[Meninist]

@Malizard

“ It was funny” - did he laugh? No he wasn’t even aware you were doing it. It was funny for Harvey Weinstein to touch up all those women, you could argue.

”I didn't even think to take pictures until I noticed the girl on the other side of him holding her phone suspiciously.” so that makes it okay? If I saw a man raping a woman and then only joined in because he was doing it too, it’s still wrong.

“We had a good laugh about it“ - yeah you and that other pevert has a good laugh about it. Did he?

[Asker]

Fine dude you've got a point it was wrong of me and that other girl to take pictures. I guess it was wrong of me not to say anything either. I mean I was about to right as soon as I saw him walking to his seat but then he sat down and his fly spread apart like mad! I figured he'd notice at some point during class so I might as well enjoy the view. Of course he never did and I let him walk out back into the broader public totally unawares mwhahaha!

[Meninist]

The problem doesn’t lie in whether or not his zipper was down, whether or not you looked or whether or not you told him it was down.

The problem here is you violated another man, took picture of him without his consent (of his crotch nonetheless) for your own gain.

You could have not told him, let him go out and make that mistake himself, but you NEVER had to take pictures of him.

[Meninist]

And the fact that you seem totally unapologetic about it is disgusting.

[ActionFrank]

Damn girl you took pictures? Thats ice cold. If I'm ever around you I'll need to make sure my pants are zipped or the consequences will surely be dire. That said-- no if a girl sitting next to me had her fly wide open, panties showing and all, I'd probably not say anything and just enjoy the view.

[Asker]

lol thats what I figure most guys would do

PS I read your answer to @menemists question and yes I'm sure I was sporting a devilish grin for most of that class period lol

[master21]

what do you mean if it was the boobs I would say I like your boobs and your boobs are out if it was their vagina area I would say that's a nice vagina and say you're not wearing any panties and I whip out my cock cuz it would probably be hard and can I bang your pussy

[Harsh_5299]

@Malizard
"(My friends at least got a kick out of the pictures I sent them!)"
If I was a guy and did that to a girl who didn't notice her wardrobe malfunction, i'd be in jail by now...
This, my friends... is double standards

[DIAMOND911]

I would and have told females when their zipper is down but i do it professionally of to the side so noone else hears whats being said

[Decentguy]

if a girl would tell that to a guy, im sure the guy would feel embarrassed

[Decentguy]

and that was a pretty rude and a creepy move you made by taking his bulge pictures. If any guy did taht to you, im pretty sure you'd be angry as hell on him and calling him a creepy pervert

[Asker]

Well my friends and I thought it was hilarious. I did it then and I'd do it again. He had bright red boxers with little red hears for christs sake! Whenever he looked over at me I had to avert my gaze so that he wouldn't notice me ogling the whole time lol

[Meninist]

“I had to avert my gaze”

So you are aware you were being obscene

[Decentguy]

Sure you would do it again, But remember kido, KARMA is a bitch. What you put into universe, it eventually comes back to you too.
www.thefreshquotes.com/.../...ou.-Karma-Quotes.jpg

[ravedave]

I like how you completely dodged the whole scenario if it was reversed and some guy was taking a picture of your wardrobe malfunction and sending them to all his friends.

[Decentguy]

@ravedave Rght On man.

[Asker]

@ravedave Yeah probably. What do you want me to do dude? Go to class with my fly wide open and see how I feel? I've forgotten to zip my pants before its not like its catastrophic

[Meninist]

@malizard did men take pictures of you with your fly down and then share it to all their friends?

[Asker]

@Meninist Not that I know of. And if they did it hasn't hurt me because I don't know about it. What that guy doesn't know won't hurt him. Except in the case of his open fly I guess lol

[ravedave]

Oh okay, so I can go around trying to take pictures up women's skirts and down their shirts as long as they don't know about it. Cool, that's good to know.

[Meninist]

@ravedave no you can take those pictures so long as you make puns about it.

[Anonymous]

I probably wouldn’t tell a guy... but I’d tell a fellow girl because sisters gotta look out for each other... but I don’t want a guy to think I’m staring because I’m observant...

[lucas262]

Iv had women in public with their dresses tucked in their draws and like any gentlemen I'd let them know discreetly so yes.

[jellyroo]

Yes I would.
Who cares if it's awkward, if someone did it for me I'd be grateful.

[drondo4]

Well if you had the hots for him it would be a good opening piece lol. otherwise I would let it slide

[Maazin]

Normally, if it involves the opposite gender.. It's best to let the person know through a fellow of his/her gender.

[hello_kitty_man]

I would tell them, who wants anyone else to see your knickers.

[ravedave]

Wait... You took pictures?

[MaelaK]

I would not dare to tell them.

[jakeforfun]

NO. Can I see Inside?

[ZeussLightningBolt]

Probably. It would be funny

[SomeGuy965]

Of course. Any gender.

[krowlordz]

I would and flirt with her about it

[weaverman]

He prob knew u were staring

[Asker]

@weaverman Then why wouldn't he zip his pants? If you're saying he did it on purpose then thats a little scary actually. It means he did something pervy and baited me and that other girl into doing something pervy. omg I never even considered that. Would a guy seriously do that? He wasn't even flashing his dick or anything it was just an open fly...

[weaverman]

Lol it was enough to keep you staring and taking a pic

[2opaz]

i would stare

[Asker]

lol I was about to say 'typical man' but then I remembered thats literally what I did for almost the whole class period to that guy. No judgement here