How is hitting a girl any worse than kicking a guy in the balls?

[Anonymous]

For any given reason. (No matter how stupid it is)
Self defense, retaliation, revenge, because they were assholes, annoying, cheated...
When the person is equally guilty, experiences the same pain, and permanent injury is equally likely, why does gender still matter?

How can you say in any situation that a guy deserves a kick in the balls, but when a girl does something equally bad, she doesn't deserve the same pain and injury?

(btw I'm not saying that hitting girls is ok. I'm saying that kicking a guy in the balls is JUST AS wrong.)

[MrKinktastic]

I think the amount of actual ball kicking is overstated as girls say it a lot but rarely do it.

I think its a weird double standard for jokes too. I wouldn't agree the risk of injury is the same though as women do still die from spousal abuse whereas death by roshambo is pretty unheard of.

Generally speaking a mans capacity to inflict physical damage is proportionately higher than most womens. Bigger fists, more muscle mass, higher centre of gravity, these things make a huge difference.

[Asker]

Yeah, but I'm talking about an assault that has already manifested in a certain result.
About an assault where the pain and injury are THE SAME.
I agree, worse injuries are worse. Kinda obvious.
But I am talking about EQUAL pain, EQUAL injuries, EQUAL reasons.

How does gender matter, then?

[Asker]

And bigger fists don't do more damage. It's the opposite. Nails go through wood so easily, because the zone of impact is tiny. Because the SAME power is transferred over a smaller zone.

[MrKinktastic]

Im not going to debate the physics of a punch with you. Men hit harder.

If reasons and results are the same though Id say gender is more or less irrelevant. Id think more of the guy if he could stop her without hurting her though.

[Asker]

Why? Why does she deserve this courtesy?
And I'm not particularly talking about stopping someone from hurting you.

I am talking about a scenario, where:

Person A causes person B a certain amount of pain and injury as an aggressor.
Then the assault stops.
Person B decides to retaliate and causes person A the EXACT SAME pain and injury, that person A caused them.

Now, my question is: how does gender matter even in the slightest in this scenario?

(I know, retaliating is against the law, and should be avoided. But those situation still arise, and I wonder why gender matters in them, when the situation is as described.)

[Asker]

And let's leave the potential for damage aside. In this scenario, the potential already manifested as a result, and was the same for everyone involved. Not the same FORCE, but the same OUTCOME. The same pain and injury.

[MrKinktastic]

Person b is still committing the worse offense as it was premeditated in my opinion.

Gender isn't really a factor in that scenario though as outcomes were the same.

[Asker]

Aha. So if a man slaps a woman in anger, and the woman hits him in the face afterwards, and they both experienced the exact same pain, the woman is WORSE than the man, because she premeditated it?

[MrKinktastic]

No, again the capacity for harm was different and it was still in the heat of the moment.

If she walked away and came back and jumped him later that would be worse.

[Asker]

What do you mean the capacity? The potential already manifested. And in this scenario, the results of bothe her hit and his hit are THE SAME.

The potential of that specific hit was NOT greater than hers, otherwise it wouldn't have manifested the same result.
Actually, SHE would have to hit harder than him, in order to cause him the same pain as her causes her.

[Asker]

*both

[Asker]

** he causes her

[MrKinktastic]

you're confusing potential and actual harm.

[Asker]

Also, you're contradicting yourself. I just laid out the scenario for you.
Then you said that person B was worse, and that gender doesn't matter.
Then I replaced person A by "man" and person B by "woman", and suddenly you change your answer.

[MrKinktastic]

You changed the scenario by changing the timeline too, not just the genders. Also capacity for harm matters in an assault so gender makes a difference outside of hypothetical scenarios.

Im done chatting with you. You clearly have an agenda and are trying to twist peoples words to try to get them to agree with you.

[Asker]

The capacity for harm is EVIDENTLY the SAME, when it manifests as the SAME result.
And I did NOT change anything in the scenario. Read again.
What am I twisting? YOU twisted your own words.
YOU are twisting the situation.
And I don't care whether you agree with me or not, I don't even know you.
I just want to hear your reasoning. If I wasn't open for my mind to be changed, I wouldn't have this conversation.
Even if I could convince you, I would gain nothing from it. I want you to make a case for your viewpoint, so I have something to hold mine up against. That's what we call a "debate".

[Asker]

And HOW. HOW ON EARTH does gender matter, when the pain and injury that was caused is EXACTLY THE FUCKING SAME? How? It makes no sense. No sense at all. Not in the slightest.

And by the way, you said something different about that earlier, too.

[Asker]

And what you call an agenda is AN OPINION.

Just because it doesn't happen to match with YOURS, does not mean that there is anything malevolent about it.

[Jan_Classic]

Since feminism it's no longer a special crime: hitting a girl. Gender does not matter any more. However it's still unfair: hitting her in the balls isn't the same as hitting him in the balls.

[Asker]

Well yeah, it hurts HIM more

[Jan_Classic]

Yeah it's ouch =D

[passinby]

Feminism already calls us evil, abusive, misogynists so let’s live up to their expectations and mimic the pain distribution and give them the equality they seek so badly.

[Asker]

Hitting BACK with the same result as the original assault is not evil, abusive or misogynistic.
And I'm genuinely in favor of equality of opportunity and infront of the law, as well as in the worth of our boundaries.

[passinby]

Good for you *applaud*

[Asker]

I just wasn't sure how to take your comment. It sound a little like "Bitches want equality? Well I'm gonna hit'em!", and this is not what this is about. Might be that I misinterpreted that, though.

[Mexicoman101]

I would say punching a woman in the face is as evil as kicking a guy in the balls.

[Mexicoman101]

That’s why nobody respects men who have to attack another mans crotch to fight.

[Asker]

Right. But when a guy punches a woman in the face, people think he deserves some pain in return.
When a girl kick a guy in the balls, people think she should still not be hurt in return.

[Mexicoman101]

If a bitch kicks me in the balls what happens next is just going to hurt

[Asker]

You mean the feeling you get when you get kicked in the balls by a bitch? 😂

[Mexicoman101]

No when I grab her and throw her on the ground

[Asker]

That would be going easy on her... A kick in the balls is much worse than being thrown on the ground. But I understand that you hesitate to say that you're going to do anything more drastic, because then it is YOU who hates women, in people's eyes, even though you're ony doing to them what they did to you, and even though you would do the same if it was a guy who kicked or hit you

[Asker]

*only (not ony)

[Mexicoman101]

No, honestly, I just don’t feel like it would be right to just beat the shit out of a woman who punches you or kicks you in the nuts. They are weaker. All you really need to do is establish dominance which a little manhandling and throwing on the ground does the trick for. I don’t want to hurt anybody but I would want to scare them if they made me that pissed by kicking me in the nuts.

[Mexicoman101]

Its like if someone throws a rock at you and you have on full body armor with an AK47, you shouldn’t just unload it into them even if it hits you in the face. You could shoot them in the leg, you could use a taser, you could hit them with the gun, etc.

[Asker]

What does it matter who is weaker, as long as the pain is the same? It obviously didn't make any difference then.
And why do you owe such high morals to someone who assaults you at your weakest point?

Why does her having less muscle mass make that any better? Why does that make the same pain worse, when she experiences it? Why does that make her less deserving of the same punishment?

I don't understand the "She's weaker" argument at all. Not in the least.

[Asker]

And you didn't listen. I said THE SAME pain and injury.
You said "She throws a rock, you shoot at her with a gun".

I am talking about EQUAL outcomes. YOU are talking about excessive retaliation, and an outcome that is much worse for her.

[Mexicoman101]

Yeah I don't know man I don’t really want to hurt anybody. I don’t buy into the ‘eye for an eye’ shit. That sucks. Ideally, all I want to do is stop the bitch. I’m just saying that I know myself enough to know that I would be so angry at that point I would probably want to attack her so what I’d prefer to do is use that energy to establish dominance and inflict minimal pain, but scare her.

[Mexicoman101]

I don’t think when people hit you its just like a green light to get vengeance in the same way, or at least it shouldn’t be.

[Asker]

An eye for an eye is perfectly fine.
"Two eyes for an eye", or "your sister's eye for an eye" is where it becomes a problem.

And I don't have any sympathy, when someone gets EXACTLY what they do to others.
How could you. It is literally their own doing. Their own medicine. They fall on their own sword.

Would you also pity someone, who steals from others, not out of necessity, but for fun, when their wallet gets stolen?

People don't deserve to be treated any better than they treat others, especially not by the people they mistreated.
Infact, it's both a lesson in empathy, AND it establishes a line, that requires MUTUAL respect to maintain, instead of just one sided respect.

[Mexicoman101]

I think there’s virtue in restraint, conflict should always be a last resort in my opinion. If you start hurting people just because you want to, you’re exercising a sadistic part of your brain under the auspices of justice. I don’t want to do that, I come from an angry enough background of violent people. I just want people to get along and if you wrong me, we can discuss it like adults or I’ll have to stop you. I think its awful to revel in the idea of hurting people, unless they want to be hurt which is another story.

[Asker]

You know, when someone assaults someone else, they apparently have not the least respect fo that person's rights and body, or the unspoken contract that prohibits both from harming each other.
When THEY decide to VIOLATE that contract, by INITIATING violence, why do they still get to reap the benefits of respecting it (which they did not do)?

And again: What difference does it make, when the genders are reversed? You know, I can respect your opinion. But then, by that logic, a man who hits women shouldn't be hit back because it is wrong, either.

Because it doesn't make any difference who has more muscle mass, when the pain and injury the victim experienced at the hands of the assailant, is equal.

[Mexicoman101]

A man who hits a woman shouldn’t be hit, unless he keeps at it in which case she should do whatever is necessary to survive. If he just smacks her in the face and walks away, tell a cop.

[Mexicoman101]

I prefer to lead by example. You shouldn’t be a doormat and you shouldn’t be triggered into sadism.

[Asker]

Only YOU are not the one hurting people just because you want to. YOU are not the sadist, if you hit BACK.
The ASSAILANT is.
YOU are maintaing the boundaries that constitute your rights and your worth as a human being, by enforcing them by EQUAL consequences, when they are violated.
You're not doing it out of sadism, or because you can, but because you are A WORTHY human being, and noone gets to do that to you, when they are not ready to face an equal retaliation.
Otherwise, this action is saying "You are worth LESS than me. I can put YOU in a certain amount of pain as an AGGRESSOR, but if YOU do the exact SAME thing to me in RESPONSE to that, you are just as bad, or WORSE than me."
The physical retaliation is what says "NO. You're WRONG. I am worth JUST as much as you, and THIS is what you did to me.".

This is about psychological self-preservation, and physical safety.

[Mexicoman101]

I don’t view it as a matter of ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ as much as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’.

[Asker]

It's not fucking sadism. It is self preservation. Sadism is when YOU initiate. When you do something to someone, knowing they can't or won't retaliate, when you control someone or put yourself ABOVE them.

Retaliating against an assault is NOT sadism.
And a man who hits women deserves to be hit.
Don't pretend like hitting back is the same as hitting first. It's not. It's just not.
All you have to fucking do is NOT HIT FIRST.
THAT is the problem. Not hitting back.

[Asker]

I think putting an assailant who gets hit back, and a victim who hits back, on the SAME level, both in their wrong doing and in their victimization, is VERY unhealthy.

[Mexicoman101]

I don’t think hitting back is equivalent to hitting someone first, but it nevertheless shouldn’t happen if the person can be restrained or you can just knock them down and demonstrate “I could fuck you up right, but I don’t want to, so don’t make this worse”

[Mexicoman101]

Maybe if I really hate some bitch then I’ll hit them back, but I don’t like giving into the hate.

[Asker]

I don't see how people who do that deserve that courtesy.

[Mexicoman101]

Its not about what they deserve, its about being firm enough to not let them bring you down to their level.

[Mexicoman101]

If you treat people with dignity, you are dignified. If you treat a fucked up human being like a fucked up human being, you’re playing their game.

[Mexicoman101]

Plus I don’t like seeing women cry. I hit a girl once when I was a kid who was older than I was, she was hitting me , then I got angry started hitting her back and she started bawling. That just fucks with me. I’d rather have her scared than crying.

[Asker]

You are NOT down on their level when you hit back. You are KEEPING yourself at a level, THEY try to take from you, while they themselves lay claim to it.

They are the ones trying to cause an imbalance, trying to TAKE something from you, when they initiate violence.
YOU are keeping things in place.

[Mexicoman101]

People like that can’t take shit away from me.

[Mexicoman101]

I just find it very unimpressive to hit women if you don’t need to.

[Asker]

You are not playing a game. YOU are saying "This is NOT a game. Keep off me, or you'll reap what you sow.

And a girl who cries after being retaliated against, is even more despicable.
SHE cries, when you hit back, but willingly hits YOU first? AND you were younger and smaller? That bitch deserves to cry, and for noone to care. Crying doesn't mean she's a good person, or that their tears come from a good place.
They cry because they don't get their way. There's nothing redeeming about crying. Especially, when you do the thing that MAKES you cry to OTHERS, for the sheer fun of it.
Well fucking deserved.
And how fucked up is it, that YOU had to feel bad afterwards?
She hits you first, without feeling bad, then YOU hit back, then the bitch cries, even though she did something WORSE to YOU a second before, and you BOTH end up feeling bad for her, even though SHE was the aggressor, and you the victim?

This just shows how skewed our in favor of women. This is fucked up, nothing more.

[Asker]

*society is

[Mexicoman101]

Look man, I just have a visceral reaction against women crying. That shit bums me out. I do not feel bad for that trailer trash bitch who was trying to bully me, but its still unpleasant to see a woman cry. It looks pathetic. I don’t want to see that.

[Asker]

What does this have to do with them being women? Again, why is the SAME pain and/or injury WORSE, when a woman experiences it? Makes no sense.
And a woman CAN harm you. You're naive if you think otherwise.
And if what she does to you is NOT BAD, and you do something to her in return that feels EQUAL to her, then what you do to her is NOT BAD either, obviously.

[Mexicoman101]

Well they can hurt you, they just can’t hurt you like you can hurt them. She axe handed me in the face, then hit me in the face like two times after, but I just felt very annoyed and angry. I didn’t feel like crying. It didn’t hurt That much, but it hurt enough I realized I had to do something. As she launched to hit me again I hit her maybe three times in the torso and she was whining in the arms of her friend after. I could’t really control my strength when I was that pissed off about being abused by somebody taller and older, and I ended up inflicting crying pain. She inflicted pain, yeah, but it wasn’t like I was getting hit by Me.

[Asker]

... She cried because she is used to higher standards. She doesn't ACTUALLY have it worse than you.

That's like saying that keeping someone, who was a slave their whole life as a slave, is BETTER than keeping someone, who lived in freedom their whole life as a slave, because one of them doesn't know what they're missing, and the other gets something taken from them they had their whole life.

You see what I mean? She cried because she was an entitled bitch, not because it was OBJECTIVELY WORSE for her.
The real crime is that YOU are not at a place, where pain and being punched means the same violation of your person to you, as it does to her.
Her tears show that more value is ascribed to her safety and her feelings.

[Mexicoman101]

No, I think she had it worse than me. I didn’t feel like crying, but she was all fucked after I retaliated one time. Men hit harder than women, that’s just the long and short of it. I think her tears show that she not expecting to be in such pain and it came on too strong. I’m not saying I was necessarily wrong for retaliating, I just in hindsight wish I could have done it in a way that left her scared, but not crying.

[Mexicoman101]

up* after

[Mexicoman101]

was* not

[Asker]

Sorry, that's nonsense. A man's hardest hit is harder than a woman's.
But a hit with the same force is a hit with the same force.

And if SHE hits first, SHE also hit YOU harder, than you hit her, up until that point.

[Asker]

And every little baby cries when they don't get their will. It's often pure narcissism.
I knew a kid who cut up worms with a knife in elementary school. Bet he would have cried too, had you taken his knife from him. Not that anyone was so crazy as to attempt that.

[Mexicoman101]

Okay would you rather get punched as hard as possible by the average man or the average woman? If someone forced you to make that choice what would you pick?

[Mexicoman101]

Maybe she cried because she lost, its possible. But I don’t know, I think it was because she was hurting.

[Mexicoman101]

I’m not going to argue she wasn’t narcissistic, believe me, I was just standing up for my friend who she was a bitch to and she decided to escalate to violence when I was just talking shit back to her. But still, there are better ways to handle a narcissistic bitch than to punch her back.

[Mexicoman101]

I didn’t even care about getting her back anyway. I walked across the street when she axe handed me trying to avoid a fight, and then she came over to hit me and then I just got tired of it. It wasn’t about justice, it was “stop doing that”

[Asker]

Sure there are better ways. I just refuse to blame anyone who decides to retaliate equally, and to pity the aggressor, when they get what they dish out.

[Mexicoman101]

Well if an adult woman punches a man then she’s just stupid. I’m just saying I personally reject retaliating with equal measure in those cases because it’s unnecessary and an ugly scene. Not saying don’t retaliate.

[Mexicoman101]

When that happens to you, you’ll realize it doesn’t feel good or remotely impressive to respond with the same act they did.

[Asker]

I can respect that. I just think you shouldn't do that to the point where you feel like people can tread all over you, and everyone around you doesn't mind, but as soon as YOU do the same to them in retaliation, YOU'RE the monster.
At that point, you're effectively (in terms of the value that is put on your safety, your health, your dignity) less worth than your abuser. And that is wrong.

[Mexicoman101]

Yeah I understand where that sentiment comes from. We all deserve not to get fucked with physically, and it should go south for you if you decide to cross that boundary regardless of gender. There’s nothing peaceful about letting people abuse you, you’d actually be encouraging them to think they’re invulnerable so maybe they hit a man who will some crazy shit like smash their heads into a tree or something if you don’t shut it down.

[Mexicoman101]

Will do*

[Amonymous]

People are just sexist. If that happened I'd happily just beat their ass to the ground (Beat their ass till they fall to the ground because I don't take that shit) then leave.

[Amonymous]

Also, if you ahve any questions or objections, feel free to say. But that's just what I'd usually attempt.

[Amonymous]

Also I just really snap easily with those things, but after that I more say sorry, are you alright then leave if they are actually hurt.