How do women get men to buy them drinks?

[Anonymous]

I go to bars just that I tend to be shy and not talk to people unless talked to. Seemed though I don't create much interest in people. I think I am quite attractive physically, just tend to sit in one place and talk to people I know or in the periphery. Why do some women have men buying their drinks for them?

Updates

+1 y

I guess the question was motivated by my ego. I was a little jealous of a new girl in my social group and my guy friend kept buying her drinks but never bought me any. She also got bought a drink at another bar by a some random dude.

[Anonymous]

It's not hard. Most guys will buy women drinks if they're not bustas. You hit the nail on the head when you said it's because you tend to be shy and not create interest in people. Also even though you "think" you're quite attractive...ARE YOU? Not trying to be mean but I'm just asking if you really are or not because that can affect guys buying you drinks.

BTW it is really not a big deal if a guy buys you a drink or not...men only buy girls drinks because a woman is obviously more "loose" after a few drinks and will most likely be easier to take home. So I don't take it as a compliment like he really likes you, guys are supposed to buy girls drinks it makes their jobs easier, its not like he bought you a diamond ring lmao..I don't take guys I meet in clubs seriously anyway its just for fun

[Asker]

Well I get some affirmation about my appearance from looks I get but just no further action after that probably because I am not the extra friendly smiley type. I act too cool maybe. No, its not a big deal that they don't buy me drinks or not. Like I said to other answers, its more a female ego thing. Most guys I don't really care for. Chemistry to date is a completely different issue.

[Anonymous]

Ah good question..Im a pro at this literally I can go for a night out with no money because most my drinks get bought for me, I'm very outgoing and friendly il talk to anyone yeno and I'm not afraid to be myself and have a laugh with the lads, sum just offer or when I'm at the bar sometimes guys will approach me try flirt then offer yeno and sumtimes if I know the guy I'm not afraid to tell him to buy me one. And the talk of coming across as a slut is not always the case, all guys that have bought me drinks have never got very far with me the most a kiss and my number if I'm into them. But yeah just enjoy yourself you'll be approached. :)

[Asker]

What do you talk about to people?

[Anonymous]

A lot of guys today are very shy with good reason. I can't explain the guys buying your friends drinks except maybe that your shyness does to them what guys shyness does to girls. Shy guys tell me they are (or feel like) pariahs when it comes to girls. Many girls say they don't like shy guys and won't have anything to do with them. I imagine it can work both ways. Perhaps it's just the company you are keeping. Those are just some random thoughts. Life is very unkind to shy people. Men and women.

[islands7]

The definition of your actions in the first paragraph is the opposite of what to do.

Guys may think drinks are just a tired old pickup line - that will be rejected, a waste of money.

I'll buy a drink or pitcher for her + our table of friends if she shows me a good time, either by talking me up, dancing - certainly after just a little of that all she has to whisper is I could really go for a beer/drink/one-of-those. Saying she's thirsty could get into a conversation best saved during drinks.

If getting drinks in bars is a goal, read the Loni Anderson biography and her bar research prior to creating her personality that made her a great star.

[Myth024]

Step 1: Be born female.. check

Step 2: Be single or at least pretend to be single.. check

Step 3: Go to a bar.. check

Step 4: Look available..

Even tho you might be sitting in one place the fact that you are talking to people you know means the regulars already know you and you may have blended into the scenery. Try a bar you've never been to before, go alone. Follow steps 1 through 4. You could also try actually sitting at the bar instead of trying to hide in the back. Make occasional eye contact with a random guy.

Look bored.

Now if only that worked for me... *grin*

[Asker]

Going to a bar alone sounds weird to me. Also don't want to attract creepy men.

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

That is kina funny lol

[arsenal25]

shy and reserved people usually do not get approached anywhere. So firt you have to look around the room, once you find the cute guys you wouldn't mind talking to start making eye contact now and than and smile. Don't be in one place, talking to the same person and on your phone. Would you approach you? probably not, so basically smile and have a good time, and guys will def. come to you

[Asker]

Talking to cute guys has never worked for me. I've always found I can never date a guy whom I found physically attractive unless that guy was interested to approach first, usually after talking for a while and finding that we get on really well talking. I don't really flirt nor know how. I tend to try to strike friendly conversations to people beside me. Walking around and talking to random people feels weird to me.

[arsenal25]

lol no no I didn't mean walk around and talk to people you don't know. I mean people you KNOW who ever you went there with. And I never said date, you don't have to date anyone from the bar. I usually go out and have fun, and like I said just make eye contact with people as long as you look approachable they will come up to you, that is HOW YOU get drinks. That was your question why guys buy drinks for girls? b.c. these girls give the guy hope some kind. they are not too friendly they are flirty

[arsenal25]

That how I usually get drinks and girls I know. moment guy gets some hope that he will be lucky with you, or get's your number etc. he will make the initiative to buy you a drink or start talking to you. That's why shy, and reserved at bars doesn't work, guys are there to pick up girls, give signals ( even though YOU KNOW he will not get far with you lol ) but act it a bit, flirt, smirk and smile guys eat it up lol ego boost and hope and free drinks keep flowing

[Asker]

Trouble is in the group there really aren't guys that I'm interested in to want to flirt. Sometimes its friends of friends in which case its hard for me to talk to them unless they were sitting close by.. Also the girl I was refering to don't seem to be flirting at all just being friendly.

[arsenal25]

if you don't want to flirt or talk and smile and are shy instead, than you are out of luck. any advice you get you have a negative answer or excuse -___- no drinks for you. she is probably doing something right, like flattering them and outgoing and talkative.

[Asker]

Yeah u're right its prob a personality thing. I do thrive having a darker side and I find that I sometimes have difficulty being friendly to every guy. That girl is that sort, just very nice to everyone. Something about my accent or something I don't know. Maybe I just have very specific stuff that I'd talk about, doesn't help tt I've gotten culturally detached from people in my own country having spent so many years away.

[BluMac81]

Its very possible that this new girl looks more 'approachable' than you do. You may be giving off vibes that you are not single or you are not looking to hook up with any guy, this often happens when the girl is shy and/or quiet. Its not your fault.

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

Why would you want that? If you need that much attention, you shouldn't be trying to get it from guys at bars lol. If your just curious, then maybe it's just because you don't come off like a slut...Which would be a good thing. Now stop asking silly questions :D, Hope that helps, and don't feel bad, we all have our sh*ty moments.

[Asker]

Nah I don't think women who have men buying them drinks necessarily mean they are sluts. They are just really attractive maybe in a certain way. It doesn't even have to be big boobs even it seems.

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

Oh, so are you talking like small crap bars or classy bars haha. I seem to forget that there is more than just the dive bars.

[Asker]

Does it matter what kind of bars?

[TheWhiteFreshPrince]

Im sure it has something to do with it. Like if it was a dive bar, I'm sure the people there might not be the same as a classy bar lol.

[genevieve]

unless your only looking for a free drink or one night stand, go look somewhere else. Believe me most of those guys that buy you drinks, you want to have nothing to do with

[Asker]

That's true, I'll actually probably be afraid to accept a drink.. I guess I was a little jealous of a new girl in my social group and my guy friend whom I've known a little longer kept buying her drinks but never bought me any. This girl also got bought a drink at another bar we were at byv an unknown guy.

[arsenal25]

you can't think that way, as long as you use your better judgment you can meet some cool guys. Everyone at school, work etc. goes out to bars to socialize (and yes some ofcourse get laid) but these guys are not slimy or ass holes or players, way you present yourself and let guys treat you that's how they will. My brother is a great guy, and his friends I go out with them and they buy girls drinks and talk to them, why? b.c. the girl is pretty and that's how they strike a conversations with her.

[genevieve]

I'm not saying there aren't exeptions and if you're just looking for some fun conversation, for god's sake you can have that in a bar. But you're still more likley to find a 'serious' boyfriend somewhere else and you can bet that the majority of guys buying you a drink and making converstion, do that for exactly one reason.

[teardrop06]

I don't mind buying myself drinks because I don't want my drink that has had drugs slipped into it. Plus, I have had guys try to get me to black out to have sex with me so I do not trust guys that give out drinks.

[Big_Rick]

Honestly? The type of guys who buy women drinks are the guys who want to "get some". If the woman is hot -- and appears to be "easy" (slutty?) -- she will probably get several offers.

But are those the guys that you want to have buying you drinks? Maybe the guys that you're more interested in think that you're hot but also feel that you're unapproachable and perhaps waiting for your guy to show up (The guys who are "players" would probably risk this, and really don't care).

[Asker]

There are contexts that I wouldn't mind a guy buying me a drink like a friend in a group. If you read my other answers around here, its mostly a female ego thing which motivated my question.

[socalgamehater2006]

why are you even asking this question? you just have to welcome or deny a man's advances, and women don't have to be talkative or be very social, they can be socially handicapped, and still get a boyfriend or get a one-night stand.

[Asker]

Indeed. I am just wondering how some women get drinks without paying for them with sexual favours or money. I am trying to be cheap.

[Asker]

Actually I'm not that cheap, I'm quite happy to pay for my own drinks or just drink less if I can't afford. Its more a female ego thing I guess.

[thisGUYknows]

its must be easier than guys OFFERING a drink that's for sure. just be friendly. no harm done. and if he looks like a creeper then slowly move away.

[Yeahhbro]

hmmm Excuse me? Are you asking a man how to manipulate another man? Sorry sister I ain't helping you on that one.

[dryad]

Some girls are floating with charisma who know how to talk to men, who know how to manipulate them...

[arashmenalagha]

hehe-really?!:)

[dryad]

I'm not one of them, trust me :D

[Anonymous]

Get on the dance floor and shake your tail feathers :o) x

[Anonymous]

just do nothing, stand still, because all women have to do is wait for men to approach them

[Asker]

that's kind of what I'm already doing.

[Anonymous]

thats a very ladylike goal lmao

[Anonymous]

just smile and be friendly

[JackHutson]

just flirt with them