I think the bitterness for men stems down to the fact that we find most woman sexy and attractive even if other women deem them to be average. So I think a lot of guys that get rejected often become salty that women have that sort of power over them but they don’t have the same. I have a girlfriend now but I remember I fell into this trap of bitterness let me explain:
So I’m very research oriented and want to know all the facts so I thought “hey maybe reading actual factual stuff will make me feel better about some of this rejection and will show that men are desired the same” (which they are by the way in many ways I was just reading the wrong information) Anyways, I was doing online dating at the time and I was wondering why I wasn’t getting any messages even though I was 6,4 and fit so I started reading studies. I read a business insider article and it cited a study that stated “for men to be 95% confident to get a response men must send over 100 messages” another independent study I read said that they made a fake profile with the same bio of a very attractive model woman and then a man. The woman had her inbox filled within days and she probably would have gotten more if it wasn’t for that. They calculated that for the men to reach a similar amount of messages in his inbox it would take 2.3 years. My analytical self read all this and began to feel bitter. “Women don’t desire us as much I guess” I thought. But soon I realized after getting a girlfriend and having more experiences in the world that the disparity is simply because women approach and message less and it’s just a gender norm. I think almost all of my bitterness has disappeared today and I have very positive relationships with women and their differences but sometimes I do struggle. Occasionally on apps like Instagram I wonder why I always see women in bikinis but hardly ever see shirtless men getting the same amount of attention unless that man is a model and even then statistically even then men receive far less attention. I think aspects like these are the things I was bitter about the most. The basic truths of the norms of our society. I am still learning and trying to fix that. My girlfriend has helped a lot with that and has corrected some of my distortions about stuff like this. Every man has similar thoughts at some point in their life and I was the same.
What bothers me on here specifically, is
~ When people ask questions with the answer in the question. And the everyone answers with the answer in the question. It’s like WOW I learned a lot about how cults work, thanks. 🙄
You do not have to tell people which people people do think feel etc, in order to find out who thinks feels does whatever which thing more or less- if at all... just ASK What they think.
just ASK do you do / think/, feel / such and such. And look at the answers and the poll results. Yes it won’t be 💯 bc many people lie to themselves but at least you are not beginning the post with bias.
It’s far more informative and interesting when people Try to think for themselves.
~Along those lines, I dislike when women or men answer a question directed at their gender, by saying how the other gender is.
Inversely, when they answer a question about their gender when the question is aimed at the other gender.
~ Though I really dislike the heavily gender based questions, as if you can’t find out how women or men think unless you only out certain situations in teens of women or men.
Likewise , people who feel compelled to preface things with you know how” we “ are...
This all creates a lot of unnecessary “ well I’m a woman/ man and I don’t do do that” or well I do that and I’m not a woman /man.. then everyone splinters off onto pro or against and Things never really gets discussed.
~ People say “ well of course we phrase things in terms of women or men... its called girls ask girls ask Etc”
And exactly how does deciding Before hand who or what or how a person is based on their header, belong you understand what you claim you do not know. It does not help. It dies the opposite. It reinforce Preconceived notions and blocks actual cognizing of relations..
Whatever is actually happening g hard sweet under sweeping generalizations and all the interesting kernels reality That do not fit with the popular narrative , get dismissed as someone not lining their gender or just being disagreeable.
Putting people in a position where to answer a question they have to start With” no” just makes them seem automatically and unnecessarily defensive. It makes my much more sense to ask your question have the poll and see where the cards land.
Mostly what we see by the way questions are asked is who holds on tightly to prejudice and who tries not to. But it takes so much more time to get to the actual essence of the matter which I think is objectively , to try to understand each other better as humans and work together more efficiently in whatever that capacity is, Work life marriage causes religion organization etc
~ The fact there’s is no “ behavior” section but only god is or guys, in my opinion is automatically problematic. How many times have I wantes to ask a question to see how yes all genders behave, but without leading the witness. My only choices are to bias people before posting based on if I put it under girl or guy, or take it out of the category of bets I or all together which in my opinion is unreasonable. Very many times. Each time it is very frustrating.
~~ If two people are behaving incredibly odd and they are not my teacher nor boss me work mate nor friend nor family etc and I just am interested to understand the social dynamics and there is no section for psychology or behavior, I have to put it under other. Even though it is very precisely about behavior. I think a neutral behavior section could potentially go a long way. For the willing. 😊
Wow, BBB, you sure like to discuss the heated topics.
I probably could make a long list here. Which would put me in a bad mood. And besides, you asked for "the biggest." So I think my answer is this:
It is not so much any individual, biased, all-encompassing, overgeneralizing claim. It is the idiocy, and lack of intelligence, behind such statements. They infuriate me, sadden me, depress me, and make me want to throw my hands up and give in, or sometimes sink to their level (cause trust me, I could so easily make a list too), and descend into the same depravity, corruption and wickedness. It takes self-control to not do this. A lot of it. Something I think 'the other side' (whichever side you're on) does not acknowledge or recognize. I don't hate the people, so much as I hate the levels they sink to, and the ease at which they dip themselves into that water. 'Do not go gently into that good night...' How about that for a different use of the phrase. Fight your anger, fight your hate, fight your own bigotry. Or don't expect us to drive straight, along next to you, forever. You're punishing the ones around you, who have done nothing to you. And that will eventually be returned in kind. We are not entirely separate entities. We share the planet. But we can live separately, if that's what you all decide.
I saw your question and before I read further, I was going to say "stereotyping". Stereotyping people is just ignorant, whether it's about gender, race, ethnicity, religion or whatever.
Doesn't gender bashing imply deep seeded issues like resentment, loathing and even hatred. How could someone with those feelings enjoy sex with a member of the opposite gender? It seems to me that it's necessary to rather idolize the opposite gender to enjoy hetero sex to the fullest.
I think gender bashing is based, to a great extent, on history. Certain kinds of feminists point out socially and institutionally embedded misogyny in the past and use that to claim that nothing has changed. They say that men are genetically programmed to be ass holes without realizing that woman didn't gain the right vote or make other strides over the years without the support of men. In that sense, it reminds me of what has become of the black lives matter movement. They point to sins of the past while failing to see society as it actually is today. And they only pick out the history that suits their narrative.
To some extent, I wonder if the popularization of man bashing in some circles is actually about profiteering. For some people, it could be merely about selling books and gaining celebrity. It could also have a lot to do with the current push for gender fluidity - denigrating masculinity.
I don't get it. But neither do I understand guys who bash women, and there seem to be quite a few who do (as exemplified here on GAG). Some men have zero respect for women, so I guess it's natural for women who have had bad experiences to think all men are like that.
Opinion
82Opinion
I agree and disagree. I think SOME things are common among most people of the same gender (like men being more logical and women being more emotional, men acting dumb more often and women being more entitled, etc), partially due to nature, and partially due to society.
I remember reading an interesting sci-fi story about an island where all the women were big and Amazonian and all the men were "normal" height and size. The women gave birth to children within seven days relatively effortlessly, and the children were female 6 out of 10 times, making boys rarer. Because of this small shifts in the society, the women "evolved" to become the workhorses of that society and the men were the coddled and protected parental figures that raised the kids and called all the shots in society, but always complained because they had to stay at home with the kids all day while the women toiled in the sun and worked halfway to death doing labor.
I could easily see the parable here, but the moral of the story for everyone else is, everything we know about gender and gender roles evolved from an essential necessity for women to birth and raise the kids and men to protect them at all costs, including building a better safer world to live in. Yet, modern feminism and other valueless ideologies in society would have you think that being the most protected and cherished creatures in the entire existence of Earth means women are "oppressed" in society.
Gender bashing, nine times out of ten, comes from a lack of empathy and willingness to see the world from the other gender's point of view. We could all learn a thing or two from each other, if we just stop playing the game of "who has it worse?" Besides, for most of human history, everyone had a crappy life, except for the rich. Don't attack the opposite gender, attack the elitists in society who put themselves above the rest of humanity.
Screw gender bashing in general!
That said, it's unfortunate that it seems to be far more justified or accepted to be from women to men than the other way around. I get it, many women have been through some shit where 100% of the 0.0000238% of the male population they encounter are "trash," but by overgeneralizing men as the problem, how can anybody blame me or others for trying to fuck off (for both our sakes). You'd think that's what women want, for me to just stay out or go MGTOW, but we can't even sexualize fictional hand-drawn/3D modeled females, even want robot hookers, without being a danger to real women. For fuck sake, let me beat off alone, lol...
I think by assuming that (all) men are naturally evil or something, it may lead to men justifying their evil, because it's "natural." "All men are rapists" is one of the scariest things I've heard, along with "all consensual sex with men is rape." Yes, I've heard and read this. The problem is that if men accept this (holy shit, if men really accepted this), it may NORMALIZE RAPE AS ACCEPTABLE! People see things as one thing, but it can flip to be the other. Either men should never have consensual sex because it's rape, or it's okay for men to rape because it's consensual sex. I wouldn't promote messages like that. It's bad enough to have women who have been raped to be taken less seriously because others wanna say rape = touched-on-the-shoulder, as I believe words have meaning and shouldn't be overly flexible. I'm not trying to downplay personal experiences, but words have meaning. A rich man's struggle in some things can be as bad as a poor man's struggles in other things, we can't say what is or isn't unless we experience both or many sides.
The problem with gender bashing is that it hurts everybody. There is another more pernicious issue that can't be dismissed that segregates men & women & that is the legal protections for women that aren't applied to men. Social implications are bad enough; ie: "believe all women"; that can easily destroy a man's life, which is something very difficult to do the other way around. I personally could have been damaged but because I have a good relationship with the staff I work with I managed to avoid it. It is far more common than people want to admit. I've seen it with many men in nursing, yes I'm a nurse. The number of domestic breakdowns that include violence allegations that are false is very, very high & until women get burned by these allegations; ie gaol time; men will always be on the back foot & relationships will continue to dwindle. Allegations of violence against children are unsubstantiated to the tune of 73% in Australia. All allegations of abuse against children here have to be investigated. That is the law. A child cannot continue abuse lies. They're easy to see through. The people who allege this abuse should get gaol time as well to stop false allegations. We know who the primary alleging party is but the reality of child abuse is that 70.8% is perpetrated by mum, in fact they also hold the child murder advantage as well at 27% over dads at 18%. This number does not include abortions by the way. I'm not patting men on the back here because none of it is a good thing. Many of these deaths are caused by sleeping with babies, shaken baby syndrome & neglect. Remember mums are the predominate carer & many the sole carer so these numbers shouldn't really astound anyone. Boys have fewer & fewer role models in society because teachers & carers who are male are unfairly dismissed & devalues in society. Ultimately without changes, everything will continue to deteriorate as men realise this much earlier than previously. How without men will society continue to progress? Who will do the maintenance of sewers & high wires not to forget builders, electricians, plumbers etc who are well over 90% male. Women need to correct this situation. If you think my viewpoint is misogynistic then you are a fool & you have no argument. You are just parroting others viewpoints.
So true babe so true... The things you pointed out are because of our prejudiced... Which means to prejudge from our experience from what we've heard from what we've been taught from what we've assumed we build a picture of whatever and we prejudge people by that... In which case I believe all people are prejudiced we all prejudge people it might be weight lack of weight color religion whether or not they're vegan or not whether they wear their hair up wear their hair down I mean we have a set of parameters that we judge people by when we meet them and they're not always there because of some of that data that we've collected along the way and a lot of times that subconscious and I'm going a whole different subject aren't I sorry..
I have a problem with prejudging anyone about anything I try to be open-minded but at the same time I know that I have my faults I'm irritated by some of the gender bashing or gender promoting... Having almost all of the badasses on TV being female seems to not be a correct representation of everything... But I don't blame anyone woman I meet for that, it's Hollywood. I think we all regardless of sex, religion, race, and/or any other catagory are or at least should be treated the same. We all have different strengths and we should pull those strengths which would make us stronger... Strength comes from many strands woven together... Let us all pull together...
MEN AND WOMEN WERE MEANT TO "SMASH" NOT BASH ONE ANOTHER=
BE A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER 🙂
Hahaha fantastic! Simply marvelous! I really loved how you... laid... this one out :D :D :D get it?
The biggest issue I have with gender bashing is the existence thereof.
I don't know what women's biggest complaint towards men are (How come I didn't see that many? Aside from cheating but in my experience it happens not that often - just like gold digging).
But the men, who say, that all women are gold diggers? That's what they get for chasing after the gold diggers and ignoring the girls, who aren't gold diggers (remember what these boys also said? That women shouldn't work/drive or that nobody cares, that they have a masters degree? These are literally the fruits of their own actions and nobody else's and see nothing but gold diggers. Women keep doing what they're doing (either building her career or digging for money) and those boys are a 1 in 1 million variables in her life). Nobody put a gun to the head of these boys and told them "give her/me your money (or no sex tonight)".
And it's what's keeping us a divided nation , world because people form their opinions mind set on what they read and see in the media and by how our so called leaders act behave instead of relying on their own personal view of common sense right wrong most are so desperate to be apart of, will knowingly follow the pack just to be included in something any thing to be able to have something to say on social media sites no one wants to appear boring or seem to be doing nothing to their peers on face book why I follow in no one's footsteps when I can and do make my own, we are in a time of confusion and change and it with the old ways of doing things notice that in government only those in their 80, s90, s are clinging on to office why and why do we not out a note capable person in their spot someone not connected with us the people instead of those disconnected Ellie's who feel that paying another law will solve things you can't force people to get along it starts by leadership and take a good look at our leaders 4 years if childish bickering infighting it's time to clean the house of leadership another 90 something president really out of 300 million this is the best we can produce we got to be better do better we can be better than this we are of many nation's countries races but above all we are all Americans and it's time we come as one nation one people under one flag and do all this bull shit please it's only hurting us our kids if not for them so the bull shit for you the decent person in you or you we all will tear ourselves apart along with all this nation stand for and it's bigger than us all we are one here not black white Latino Asian it where ever you are from this is our only home why are we tearing it apart, stop it think come together it's the only way the right way we all know it inside us put pride aside and unite as one nation please
It's mostly just annoying and comes off as extremely ignorant, and even bitter in a lot of cases as well.
I think a lot of people see gender as a much bigger part of a person's identity than it really is. Yes, there are differences between the sexes, but all of us are individuals and all of one gender or the other is not collectively the same in almost any way, especially emotionally.
A lot of people who have had multiple bad experiences with the opposite sex tend to become really jaded as well, and assume the entire gender is all the same. I get that it's easy to become frustrated when you run into one bad person after another, especially if they all share similar undesirable traits, but think about it; that's a very small sample of the entire population of that sex. So, to say that all men or women are the same is pretty ignorant and naive.
It's not even funny how silly it is. One second I'll hear from a guy that all women only care about receiving the biggest dick and money, yet in the other about how men only care about sex and who's the prettiest. It starts to just make me wonder if it's not a gender thing, but just instead that a lot of people are just that way.
I think people really should try looking at situations from other's perspectives instead of because you got hurt you're going to put a huge generalization on a gender.
Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason... regardless if it’s everyone or not it’s still our brains telling us hey this is likely to happen... if you know a man has a 50% chance to cheat or leave you and when he goes a 80% chance to take half what you own and full child custody... bet you wouldn’t get married either... because that’s the approx stats for divorce in the USA for a first relationship.
The obvious biggest issue is men hate women and women hate men now... but it’s not unwarranted... women expect specific things from men and me. Expect specific things from women... neither sides willing to give these things so your gonna have to be a hell of a woman to temp me to get serious...
I think there’s a lot, but a big one goes back to century’s ago, where women would stay home and work and men would go out and provide for the family. This has been brought into our society and is still alive today. I think this is why our society believes all men shouldn’t show weakness and women shouldn’t do certain things because it’s considered “manly.” Media is also a big part of our world nowadays. Especially when they display the way both genders should dress like. How women should have a skinny and flat body. I don’t like that. Everyone is perfect just the way they are. And both genders should be considered equal and be equal.
Like many social issues it stems from an issue rooted in human psychology. Yet not many see this.
You could say its a flaw, issue or whatever terms makes you feel comfortable. The issue is that if we hear something enough times it can become a assumption. If we hear the something enough it can jump from being a assumption to the absolute truth in our mind. So people end up running around with a assumption or turth in their brain that has no empirical evidence to back it up. We also let this assumptions or truths dictate our behavior.
These assumptions or truths can be passed to others. So it becomes a constantly spinning cycle. The kind of cycle that makes free thinkers, researchers and people that truly value the higher functions of the human brain want to headbutt the nearest wall.
The ignorance often witnessed on this site. I can give a sixteen year old girl a pass
because she’s naive and still lives in the shadows of a world she barely knows exist.
But these thirty and forty something guys and women asking them dumb ass,
Why do guys or what do girls shit, drives me crazy.
Like wait the f**king minute, how old are you? Second they sound stupid and biased
even poising such dumb ass questions, even when they know it isn’t true but ask
anyways. Don’t be stupid and try branding anyone based off the poor choices in guys
or girls you individually made. If you have a history of choosing guys that lie and cheat, don’t fucking ask me why do guys lie and cheat. She’s a dumb ass.
I think it's like any other form of scapegoating. The most vociferous haters almost always have the characteristic (s) they dislike so much in themselves- or at least the perceive those faults or shortcomings in themselves. It's far more difficult for a guy to make peace and come to terms with the latent feminine nature within them so they externalize it and create a scapegoat. The example I used is a man who hates gay men but I think it applies to any broad rage at any group. And, of course, it's men that are most often guilty behind mob mentalitty etc
We work on the basis that we should divide the worlds population into 2 category's (those being male or female) when really if we're going to divide the world into 2 category's we need to evolve as a human race and realise that the only definitions we need to make are Dickhead or non-Dickhead! (I'll let anyone who knows me speculate what category I fall in... as lack of self awareness is a Dickhead move lol). I've been accused in the past of having a disproportionate amount of female friends, but I'd argue I have a disproportionate amount of non-dickhead friends and you can come to your own judgement what that means on a gender basis.
lol love the "smash" line there... agree with all the points you made... and I'll add that the assumptions, as they are bashing, are often made with a mean or negative perspective.. so yes... one man or woman at some time in history did (some sort of bad thing) - does not mean every man or woman would or has or condones, etc.
Will also add that I am friends with a few transgender women... you think female and male gender bashing is bad... you should see the stuff the transgendered folks see... it's beyond ugly.
Frankly, nothing. It is bizarre to witness. However, in the grand scheme of things, the proportion of the asshole women to the proportion of the asshole men bashing one another appears roughly proportionate to each other. Ignore them and allow them to do the rest of us a favor by killing each other off.
This really only seems to exist online and on television screens. The closest I get to seeing this behavior is from wives making smartassed comments of their husbands and husbands making lamenting comments of their wives. Still no where near the scale of grandiose rhetoric bullshit I see piled high online or on television.
Just divisionist bullshit that most seem smart enough not to get sucked into.
I agree with you whole heartedly. Most of my answers to questions here revolve around the same response which is all people don't do, act, and feel, the same way.
I understand why people ask do all men or women questions but in reality they're probably wanting to ask why does this one person I know or several people I've dated do the things they do.
The answer always is you have to ask them to find out and hope they give an honest answer. We can't know why people do what they do all the time.
The same as you and I would add throwing their pain at the opposite gender : one man hurt them and they suddenly hate/blame all men because of their pain.
It's not directly tied to this topic but I also hate the "gender competition", like which gender is better? What's the point of that? What positive thing does it bring to the world? To me, one is not better than the other, we are not equal, we are different but we complete each other. Why do people have to turn such a beautiful thing where we work together in harmony into a competition where we are against each other?
There are two Hollywood (!) movies that display positive "gender" (actually sex) stereotypes. Both star Sam Elliott and his real-life wife in one of them. Conagher, that includes his wife Katharine Ross and the real The Quick and the Dead from the Louis L'Amour novel. Both display women as Feminism should be. Both display mature men as we really are: Strong, with flaws, but honorable.
The biggest issue I have with gender bashing is the same issue I have with race-bashing, sexuality-bashing, and bashing anyone over a demographic: It's discrimination against a group of people, and it's that simple. I see some people who bash genders, but will be the first people to cry "racism" against someone, and vice versa.
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