Ok this mytake is a result of my recent question:
And a few replies on this post where it seems like blame was being put on the victim. Do people not see though that when you put blame on the victim you are victimizing them again.
What is victim Blaming?
Some responses that disturbed me were "if they chose to stay they're at fault" .... To which I responded "Say that to a small child being abused by their parent". Why, why do people try to blame anyone young or old, for the horrible actions of someone else?
Here's an insert of one answer and why you should not blame or shame victims:
And even if the victim was an adult at the time of abuse is still no reason to blame them. This 'victims choose to be victimized, they seek out abusers" is not always true. There is red flags sometimes, but not ALWAYS. Abuse doesn't always happen from day one, sometimes it can be months or even years before the abuse starts. And abuse is never just physical or sexual, it's also always emotional. The abuser gets into their victims head to where they believe it's their fault or they deserve it. And if people, society treats victims the same, well that makes it even easier for abusers to convince their victims.
Instead of judging, shaming, blaming victims maybe try treating them with empathy and respect and caring that they didn't receive from their abusers.
But it's not just abuse where you see this mindset. How many times when someone gets cheated on, do people try to put the blame on the person being cheated on..... When the blame should be on the cheater alone....
I'm a big believer of it takes two. Two to make or break a relationship. So it can easily be the fault of both why a relationship is having issues. Lack of communication being a big reason. But there is ever only one and one person only to blame for the act of cheating.
So to those who've been cheated on, always remember:
And for those who are so quick to blame the cheated on partner and make excuses for the cheater, just remember you could easily find yourself being that partner that was cheated on, because:
Unfortunately, we seem to have become a society that can only have empathy or understanding if they've personally gone through it. You may not ever personally know exactly how someone feels unless you've been in their shoes, but at least try to be more understanding and respectful to people that have been victims. Do not be guilty of victimizing people more.
Thank you for reading 💜💜