Why do some men reject very pretty women?

[Anonymous]

My cousin is like super model pretty and one guy she liked for years used her sexually but would never commit to her and he told her she will never have him. He ended up married and with a child by a very unattractive girl. I find this so strange because he still tries to contact my cousin and he even contacted me and asked me where is she. My cousin went through a bad depression, but she’s moved on. My question is why does this happen often? I see it at night clubs too where the plain looking chick gets hit on the most.

[abc3643]

If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

Just to reiterate, this is Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2 in a nutshell:

If a girl is attractive enough, many guys will not approach her simply because:

1. He thinks he doesn't have a shot because:
A. He thinks she's already taken. After all, a girl that attractive is going to have lots of guys hitting on her.
B. Even if she was available, like with all women, no guy wants to get shot down. With a beautiful girl, guys expect that they will get shot down.

2. If he did get her, she'd be a lot of work to keep her.

3. ... and then she'll eventually leave him for a better-looking / richer guy anyway.

[Asker]

She was already in love with him and used to cry to me all the time over him.

[abc3643]

I feel bad for her... for now.
If she is as attractive as you say, she will find a new boyfriend soon - one who will likely be a devoted puppy to her.

[Novacane]

First I want to say that looks are subjective, She is your cousin so of course you are gonna see her as a very attractive person, but just because you see her that way doesn't mean everyone sees her that way. Also, a lot of very beautiful women are very stuck up (not all but most) so sometimes what's the point of approaching them if you know the end results that they will not pay attention to you, especially if you are not a super good looking guy. "plain" women as you called them can be more approachable and reasonable with their options, not too much expectations.

[Asker]

So if this is the case why is he still trying to contact her? He even went through the trouble to contact me. I’m just trying to help my cousin.

[Novacane]

As you said she's really pretty, obviously he enjoyed having her while he did even if it was just to use her sexually, as we know men ain't shit, marriage won't stop them, he might not "like" her but he probably wants to keep her around sexually

[AmandaYVR]

Maybe the great looking girl looks too high-maintenance.
Or snobby/full of herself.
Or there will be too much competition around her, trying to ward other guys off.
Or her personality sucks. Beauty doesn't create good personalities or character or nice people. In fact, some rest on it and don't develop themselves in other ways enough.

[Don-__-Don]

In the case for your cousin.

The guy she liked most likely wanted her for sex due to how pretty she was, and he didn't think she was good enough to go any further than that.

Generally, I see this as universal the downside is for women who are very attractive.

When your looks are the best thing in your arsenal. You're gonna be seen as a pump in dump at best. That's why that guy never commited to your cousin most likely.


That's my assumption

[Tea-Spaghetti]

I don’t know they maybe intimidated. I personally don’t get it though your cousin sounds like she deserves better

[Grond21]

When women give themselves up as sexual toys, they set the standard for how the man should view her. As something to be used and nothing more. He was following her in what she allowed for herself.

[llorando]

Just think of it as a chocolate Easter bunny, underneath the decedent chocolate shell is either a yummy caramel center or just plain old, ordinary air..

[Dave31989]

probably felt she couldn't commit herself.. like, as in, she likely would have men all over her all the time

[Asker]

He was actually her first love. My cousin is such a goodie two shoes.

[Dave31989]

i bet

[Not_Average]

Because it’s not only looks that matter.

[Asker]

They got along so good and they were so cute together. The dude asked me where she’s at and I was like bruh you had a chance I don’t think she’s trying to talk to you