So my health declined within the last year. I got so sick that I had to get heart surgery and a feeding tube. This was extremely difficult. My boyfriend is wanting to see my stomach with all the scars but I’m embarrassed. I haven’t shown him yet. I could get bandaids and cover them. This is what they look like. Is this unattractive? (This photo is not me, but it’s a public photo)
How should I handle my feeding tube scar?
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Well insaw the the dark dot pretty quickly but I had to stare at the pic for a looooong time to see the second on going up and down. I dont thing they are a big deal.
Plus he's your boyfriend and this was a legit medical thing, I doubt he's going to care, if he does he's not a good boyfriend🤷♂️.
Not to be a dick but I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. I know you wish the scares weren't there but they are, they were necessary, they aren't your fault and they aren't going anywhere anytime soon so it's not worth being bummed about.
You could maybe try some of that lotion that's suppose to reduce stretch Mark's, that might lighten them up over time.
Don't try to hide it because he will more than likely see it at some point. It is a part of you and nothing you should be ashamed of, especially given that circumstance on why it is there. You had no control with that.
Put it this way, I got some scars on my body and so does my girlfriend. Every time I see them I always kiss them or rub them. She is still my girl, nothing has changed. Scars are just a reminder of things that happened in the past, both literally and metaphorically.
Think of it in a cool way. "Scars are just proof that I was stronger than whatever tried to kill me."
How you handle things now sets the tone for how you will handle sensitive matters in the future. If he had something like this to reveal to you, how would you hope that he would proceed?
Just embrace it and explain it and look to the future ya could go so far as to point out that he's one of the things that is keeping you mentally and physically motivated to stay healthy and end the story with a sweet cutesy ending. Ending it with him being like a rock that helping you move forward past what has happened.
At worst he might question you about what it was like though. And maybe will trace the scar out of imagining what it must have been like but then go back if you are meeting like in person. To hugging you XD. I doubt he's going to think bad about it other than pushing you to continue to live healthy so you don't end up on the tube a second time.
Hannah you should not be embarrassed about your scars. You went down a tough road and you came back a fighter. You are a SURVIVOR. Instead of being embarrassed, you should be proud of them. You faught for your life at a young age. There is nothing wrong with having scars. My dad used to call them battle wounds. They are like a badge of honor. You had health issues so you went in to fight. You faught a tough battle and you came back a winner. Hannah, show those scars to your boyfriend and be proud of them. You are a stronger woman because of those scars.
I would want to see all of you if your my girl, scars and all. Men don’t need perfect, we want ‘perfect for us’ and we love you with scars health problems and all. We don’t do ‘grocery lists’ like a lot of women do. Women don’t have to be afraid to be there true selves with the right guy.
So it's like standards. Things you see on dating sites. I need a man who: makes 6 figures, is at least 6 feet tall, doesn't watch sports, etc. There are lists of attributes that one demands before one will even consider a date.
Hey I, personally think that it looks Perfectly fine because believe it or not I too have the EXACT Same thing/scar as well because I was in a Terrible Car crash/Accident my Junior Year in High School and I had to end up getting a Feeding Tube as well and/so I have the SAME EXACT Scar from when I myself had a Feeding Tube BUT when I had a Feeding Tube I was in a Coma (for Only a Month, THANK GOD) and/so I, personally am Perfectly 100% Fine with having a Feeding Tube Scar on the side of my Stomach.
Girl, you're willing to post on social media but not show your boyfriend, that you should be sharing your most intimate details? Scars are life's way of telling others that you have lived life. Some of us have more scars externally than others, some of us have more internal, emotional scars. Either way, be proud you survived that which caused the scars and get on with living your life to the fullest.
A girl I know has a scar on her cheek, what she did was put pimple patches on the scar and then cover it up with makeup that blended into her skin tone. Hardly noticeable. This could help you feel less embarrassed. The patches might even help restore the scar and also bio oil helps with that too.
I had emergency open-hearth surgery and one scar is about 8" long and 1" wide in the middle of my chest and the other runs from my left wrist to my elbow where a vein was removed to repair the blocked arteries to my heart. I don't bother trying to cover them at the beach and such as they are a great conversation-starter. When I handed over my passport at the border, the guard saw the long nasty scar on my arm and thanked me for my service.
I don't think it's anything to worry about. It's part of who you are and a good guy will understand. You have no reason to feel embarrassed. If you forewarn him about it that should be sufficient. Let him know if it's okay for him to touch or if that would bother you.
You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Our scars are who we are. It’s not like we choose to have them. They are stories. Some have really good stories behind them and others, well they might remind us of a moment in time when things were pretty tough. It sounds like he really likes you. If that’s the case, he’ll love your scars too. Trust me. You have nothing to worry about.
Girl your body is very beautiful! Don’t let a scare and complete accident limit how much you allow people to love you. If he truly loves you he will love your scares and if what you said in an earlier post about him kissing your chest scare then he will also love on these scares. Just let him love you.
Hanny, don't be worried about it. You're a fighter and a champ. Talk honestly about this to him. I'm sure that he would appreciate your honesty. These are superficial imperfections which don't matter much. Stay safe and healthy. I've been tested positive for Covid-19 and am in quarantine at home.
You could possibly have that scar revised with plastic surgery, but it doesn't look bad at all. Your boyfriend, if he is a decent guy at all, won't mind it. I certainly would not, and I have seen far worse and not minded. It's what is inside that counts, not the outward appearance.
I have a couple of those from heart surgery (single bypass). I just ignore it as an old battle scar. It doesn't change who I am. If your boyfriend can't deal with it, then he's just kind of shallow. He's not perfect either.
Scars may not look nice, but don't actually change how attractive we find people. There have been studies confirming this and everything. (Actually some evidence mild facial scars on men make them more attractive for short term relationships).
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
You expect it will disappear or become pretty with time? Well answer is no.
Just show it to him and stop overthinking.
Obviously when you ready.
By delaying it you get yourself deeper in depression, just get it over with, you will feel much better then.
What he expects? That everything is like it was before there? Is he unaware how long you been sick and with what or he is just stupid?
i don't think those scars make you ugly. there are definitely scars that i would consider unsightly but those just are on the level of a mole or something to me. no reason to feel insecure in my opinion.
its a personal decision, but I think it is nice that he cares, it is a part of your life, your history, it is not something to be ashamed of. You survived, he wants to share that part if your life... maybe you "inspire" him...
My daughter had a feeding tube for years. When it was removed, very little is left to show it was there. I do not know why you would have such a prominent scar. Surgery can get rid of that.
Don’t cover it it up! Scars are like words on a page they tell beautiful stories of strength, endurance, courage, and are a little window into who you are as a person.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
You could probably fill out more in terms of curves and body shape. That’ll make your skin tighter again and make you more attractive :)
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