I have 3! The first one is telling me am weak and am not good enough for my family. The second is my diabetes demon which it gets scary sometimes and threat me to have worse health and won't be there when my loved ones needs me. The last one, it shows me the past from war and all the hell i grew up with, haunting me every single time i feel happy. So far! I am winning, one day i will fall like i always do, but i won't be able to get up again to fight back.
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I am just worried about my future. I have been unemployed since last May and my benefits run out next week. Hopefully the government gives us an extension. I also feel the isolation. My wife is the only one I ever talk to and she works during the day.
I don't drink or use drugs. I try to work out every day. I am sick of winter and sick of watching television all day. Things could be worse I know but I am looking forward to summer.
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The biggest demon I'm fighting right now is anxiety.
I beat depression during lockdown, had been taking antidepressant for *years* and tried to quit a few times but couldn't because it got bad again, but during lockdown I actually had the time stay in bed, rest and fight the withdrawl. It took a couple of months but finally did it and now I don't even miss them! :D
The anxiety on the other hand is taking its toll, but I guess it's to be expected if people that didn't suffer from it before are experiencing it during lockdown, it's somewhat normal that I that am prone to it get it as well. But I'm handling it as best as I can.
I haven't gone out at all in well over a year, like 6 times for social reasons throughout this period and I only go out to do the shopping once a week and that's it because I work from home. My parents live with me and they are at risk because of their age and illnesses, so I've been incredibly careful and disciplined for *them*.
But I'm sure I'll overcome the demon of anxiety as well, it's just taking a little more, but I'm actually quite proud of myself for beating depression, that's quite an acomplishment for me <3
Hope you are all doing ok :3Nothing too serious. Just the voice in my head thatβs making me eat poorly lately. Last week was my birthday week and I made way too many allowances for myself, went up a few pounds. Frustrating because Iβd almost never eat cake on my own, but my gfβs mom got me a rum cake and sent me home with the leftovers, so that was like three pieces of cake in a week, on top of the other bullshit I ate. Not even going to talk about the pizza where I ate 6 of the 8 slices😅😅😅 Calories still count on your birthday, FYI, thereβs just no way around it😂 There might actually be a beach season this summer, so I really gotta tighten it up the next few months lmao. Itβs been all salads this week, haha.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/FRhGCEIB-4Y(Kristen Wiig is outstanding here😂😂😂)
Like a tone.
- Feeling like I don't have direction
- Feeling like I've wasted my life
- Not having a purpose
- Fearing that I don't have value
- Fearing that I lack mental capability
- Feeling like I have too much to achieve yet my time is not my own
- Feeling like I can't rely on anyone - yet everyone fails over onto me
- Feeling like no one has an interest in hearing me - yet am expected to hear so much
- Feeling like I 'll never achieve time to pursue my own projects
- Feeling like I matter in as much only what others can take from meThe big public demon is postmodernist society. It is the hell I always dreamed it would be. Dr. Suess for crying out loud! Everything fun gets canceled. Ammusing is offensive and everything and everybody is racist because apparently nobody does anything for any other reason. Everything you say can and does get used against you in the court of public opinion and main stream media. It's a complete shit show and something has to give. I don't think it can go on this way much longer, people are going to snap.
Personal demons, I won't discuss in public.Anger towards my family. My parents overreacted to basically everything and my older brother was always mean to me and my younger sister never listened to, cooperated with, or respected me. My parents never did anything about either of them. Because of this, I have serious trouble with confidence, expressing anger (though I definitely feel a lot of it), asserting myself, and expecting and demanding respect from people, and such.
They also forced me to go to college. I never wanted to go. Yeah, I had delusions about being a famous singer and all, but I would have eventually given up on that and done what I wanted, which was become a Marine.
Because of all this, I've never felt confident or comfortable taking risks or doing the things I wanted to do and deal with the consequences as they come. Instead I live in fear of them all the time.
So yeah, that's what I'm dealing with.I am friends with the monster under the bed.
I am a sober drug abuser
I sober alcoholic
I have major depressive disorder
Ptsd
Generalized anxiety order
Adhd
And they all fight every day all day in my head.
I moved out my home of 22 years because my husband was verbally abusive. Now he has gotten the kids, no fault of mine, he is just good. I live with my parents now. Which is wonderful to help them. But i ache for my family. My kids are 20 and 29. I can't risk wanting to die in that house with my soon to be ex husbands mouth.
Thats enough for now lolAnger is the main one. That's something I've struggled with for almost all my life.
Confusion has been a big problem for me lately also. It seems like both thinking and figuring things out are getting harder and harder. Maybe it's my age? Or stress... I can't decide which.I'm a perfectionist at heart, and I'm harder on myself than anyone else when I make mistakes. I'm still learning to cope with that. Also dealing with my ADHD and social anxiety while serving customers all day and it gets mentally exhausting.🙃
Not sure if I even answered this right, but it felt good to get it out.Gene Simmons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIIAFVFvkW4
He's a tough demon to beat though because he's The Doctor of Love.Loneliness and hatred. Loneliness makes me hate all those that are making sure i stay lonely. The government and the fearfull lot of covid sheeple. Hatred grows. I hope the vaccines will work because i might throw my life away if they keep banning everything human. I wpuld rather die a human than live like a robotpath. A robotpath is a person who follows instructions even to his or her detriment. Robotpaths are what creates dictators and destroys humanity.
May be i should listen to the hatred demon more...A furry, orange, 10-pound demon cat that won't stop screaming at you until you give him a ridiculous amount of attention. That'll appease him for 20 minutes before he demands more from you. He is the devil incarnate and I battle his insatiable neediness every day.
Besides depression, it would be vengefulness. Wanting to hurt people the way I've been hurt. Wanting to expose people for who and what they really are.
Iβm having a very very hard time with men right now. Donβt get me wrong, I love good men. I am having a hard time because I was very very badly hurt by men in my family. That followed me and changed my choice in men u til I realized what I was doing. Itβs very conflicting because I absolutely adore men.
Neurological Demons, left over from chemotherapy, causing intense burning, and bee-sting feelings.
Nothing mental, or addiction, as these neurological ones are more than enough, for now. . .The only demon I have dealt with recently is an insurance company I have been paying premiums into for the last 5 years that now says I don't qualify for benefits. Kind of sound like fraud don't you think?
I feel like I've conquered most of them. The ones I haven't slain yet, I've learned how to steer against their influence and not let them affect me too much. :)
None at the moment, but if any demons show up I ain't going down without a fight. I just bought a new 12 gauge.
I think health issues with physical and mental health are demons for me
but with medications, I find I don't let them get me down I just keep on going?- Toxic coworkers I donβt trust as far as I can throw
- The scale/my weight
- My self esteem and confidence in myself
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