Yes and no. I've been conditioned to follow many gender norms and have made peace with it, even though I advocate for more diversity in our understanding of gender and for people to realize many of these things aren't inherent or natural differences.
I'd say my personality is the only stereotypically masculine thing, because I rely on a high standard of logic in the way I form my opinions (most men don't even do this, ironically), I'm assertive, loud, I can be argumentative (not in a violent way, just in a challenging ideas with my logic and picking apart other people's logic kind of way), and I'm naturally dominant. By dominant I mean very assertive and confident, I tend to be a leader in social circles. Quieter and more passive people always end up relying on me to start and lead conversations, take on more responsibility for planning or guiding social situations, etc. I do like a degree of control, but I'm not a control freak per se. I'm always open to other people's opinions and intentionally take steps back all the time because I know how naturally I can dominate conversations without realizing it and how difficult participation or even confrontation can be for others. I'll encourage someone who's pissed at me but can't speak up to tell me straight how they feel, even if it's not what I want to hear. Communicating and advocating for myself come naturally to me and I tend to feel like I need to protect others. I'm not comfortable with the prescribed submission that many traditional cultures prefer women to embody. I'm more a leader than a follower. Even if I'm not leading explicitly, I challenge ideas and won't do something I don't want to, will always speak up for myself and even defend others if I can do so safely. I'm very bold and I can have a sharp tongue. I love talking about emotions and acknowledge my feelings, but also have issues with repressing emotions and fully feeling my feelings.
I'm very into some things that people think aren't "for women," but these ideas are less prevalent these days. I'm into politics, economics, I'll read articles or watch videos about science and history. Basically, some people think all women do is watch reality tv and talk about makeup all day and if you don't embody that, they're "shook."
But I do love makeup and beauty content online, I love to cook (and eat lol), I have a very feminine appearance (and I support women who don't like dresses, skirts, and "girly" things!), I'm a huge feminist, and a total woman's woman. I struggle to connect with men a lot and I have low tolerance for the sexist shit that I often hear from them. The only man friends I have are gay, unfortunately. The times I've been friends with men, some sexual tension shit always comes up and then one of us (usually me) freaks out and the whole thing combusts. Not surprisingly, I'm single af 😂
Mostly. I'm a logically-thinking problem solver with strong protective instincts. I'm not much of a handyman, and I can't fix anything more than the most basic of car problems, but I can take apart and rebuild a computer in my sleep. I love babies, but I speak to them in plain English without raising the pitch of my voice, and two of my primary goals as an uncle were 1. teaching my nephew to belch on command and 2. teaching my niece to belch even LOUDER. (Both completed successfully, by the way!). I can bake a couple of different kinds of cookies, but if you care more about how they look than how they taste, you're going to be disappointed.
I'm not much of one for playing sports and watching them bores the snot out of me, though I WAS deeply disappointed to hear that Barkley 2 got canceled. If someone vandalized my car by painting it hot pink with a picture of Barbie riding a unicorn vomiting rainbows, my first reaction would be "Good, now I don't have to try and remember where I parked; I can just look for the crowd of baffled people surrounding it". If I find I need to accomplish a task I don't know how to do, my first instinct is usually to learn how and do it myself.
Does that tell you what you want to know? I've found that in general, you'll get along more smoothly in life if you see those standards as DEscriptive rather than PROscriptive; as "what you can expect from gender X" rather than "what gender X is required to do".
I'm a guy. I like tools, building things, video games, tits, engines, motorcycles.
But also no bc I like violin, tea, cooking, talking about emotion and the spa.
The only reason I got for why I'm like this that people seem to accept is that I was raised by my 2 moms. (I still don't know why that explains anything)
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Tea? I didn't know tea is considered a girls' interest lol
Not exactly. I have many traditionally masculine pursuits and interests. I LOVE college football. I am a good handyman around the house - electrical, plumbing, carpentry, painting. I enjoy working on my car. I am a president of two different organizations.
I also have some pursuits that are NOT traditionally considered masculine. I enjoy cooking and baking. I care about the way my home looks and I spend time thinking about how it should be decorated. I am a good housekeeper. I love my two cats and try to be nurturing to them. I play piano and sing.
I think that people feel more pressure to conform to traditional gender roles in the normal range of intelligence. As you get into groups of above average intelligence, people are more willing to resist and break away from the norms.
I guess my tastes are pretty masculine. I like heavy metal music, I have a 15 yr old boy's sense of humor (I still think farts are funny), I like adult animation (South Park, Rick and Morty, Big Mouth, Castlevania, etc.), I LOVE dinosaurs, and I like to play videos games. But I also know how to cook, I clean, and I like to dress feminine when I go out or it's a special occasion, although most days it's just shorts and t-shirts 😂. And leggings or sweatpants when it's cold. I don't "dress up" very often.
I suspect my bourgeois female neighbors think I'm cheap or tomboy-ish since I do a lot of heavy-duty tasks in & around our house with my husband. They're not shy to ask why I'm doing "hard labor" (that's their term) or "work for a man to do" when I can ask them for their contractor's numbers. I proudly tell them that I enjoy working with my husband no matter how tough the tasks are and that it's wiser to save money than spend it needlessly.
In one instance, their jaws dropped as I became the buzz of the neighborhood when they watched me climb up & down our tall antenna tower to adjust our ham radio antenna. Since then, their concerns about things I do starting mounting. I repeatedly respond with "because I can do it!"
Rules? What f-n rules? I do what I am wired instinctively to do. I started working automotive at age 8, yes 8, and then construction at 14 driving truck before I had a driver’s license. I did the career thing and earned all the degrees, all the way. However, I still live in the sticks, hunt, grow food and live off-grid because that is my natural habitat. All of your unnatural contrived bulsht is making all of you nuts and it is coming out every day with another imaginary gender added to the whacko list, or proposing a 6pm curfew for men so that women don’t have to live in fear. Eventually, all of your minds will dissolve as big burly men are tasked to wash dishes while women go slam down beers at the bowling alley after doing road construction for the day e. g. lmao
I like to cook, clean, organize parties, wear feminine clothes/shoes, and watch the bachelor. I dabble in makeup from time to time. I can come off as ditzy and enthusiastic to those who don't know me well, and it's also reinforced by the fact I'm a secretary in my day job.
I've been told that I come across as more logical than other of my gender, which I find to be more of an insult to my gender. We all have logical thoughts, based on our understanding of the situation in the present, even if we are off base contextually.
There is also wisdom in distinguishing the difference between following the logical verbal thread, and addressing a situation with EQ. I float between the two as needed and whether I'm supporting or friend, or debating a corworker.
I don't pick the whole spectrum but, it's not like I picking anything from the ladies. I am a handyman, ie fix things and maintain them, I don't like sports so that's out the window, nor do enjoy cars, they are just tools to me. I prefer cider/mead over beer but beer over wine.
I don't enjoy chasing skirts, I can enjoy their company but I don't play their games.
I am not much for cleaning, laundry or cooking but has to be done.
I can enjoy a bit of gardening if the weather allows it to be pleasant.
Kind of. I love wearing dresses, makeup, and one day want to have a family. However, ever since I was little, I've always felt I had more of a ‘masculine’ edge. Like I would 100% choose pants over a dress any day. I love sports. My favourite toys growing up were dinosaurs, cars, and Beyblades. I hated Barbie dolls, or dolls in general. I also am taking my Masters in Architecture, and a lot of people are surprised that I even made it in. Work is so important to me, and I want to be able to provide for myself and my family. And on that note, I don’t want to have a family or get married until I’m at least in my 30s, as I want to own my own home, travel the world, establish a successful career, etc.
Honestly, I can't say, because I'm the stereotypical "alpha male," but still a flashy, more feminine in mannerisms, bisexual guy.
I started playing sports in junior high, started regularly working out at the same time, always been on the more aggressive side, definitely a man whore, love sports cars, love luxury cars, can do physical labor if necessary, etc. etc.
However, I have plenty of pink and flamboyant cloths, including fur coats, I can cook, I have a frilly standard poodle as my dearest pet, though I have aggressive tendencies I prefer to focus on intellectualism.
Though with the level of confidence I put behind everything, even the more feminine things I do have an air of masculinity to them, so most people would probably say I fit the gender stereotype, though I believe I'm more "feminine" than most stereotypical males.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I am 100% straight. But I’m a bit too sensitive. This has been a monkey on my back for almost my entire life.
I’m definitely less emotional than the average woman but unfortunately not as stoic as the average man. It’s tough but I have to make the most of it.
2
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I really love emotional guys, in fact my crush is a straight softie that cries watching movies <3 Sadly I can't have him because he isn't into me.
The ability to urinate standing up without messing myself, follow instructions on laundry special care procedures laid down by the lady of the house, proper table edicate deemed appropriate by the lady of the house, and never forget to put toilet seat up before using the comode, return seat to original closed position when finished, and never forget to flush (Like I need to be told that. I've got a 👃 of my own, you know), as well as Basic Auto repair and maintenance not requiring a full diagnostic and retrofit, to be attended to without being reminded or supervised by the lady of the house, unless she's bored and consideres time under the hood of the car quality bonding time😉. Like changing spark plugs together putting a little spark in the relationship🤭.
Mostly NO but only in terms of commitment I fit in the female role (loving one gem person forever but also being loved back). I just HATE the fact that women have to get pregnant and endure the damage physically and mentally followed by 3 years of missing out on life just to take care of a child. I am born to be free, enjoy whatever I want and I will rather have challenges and exciting life than to sit in a basic home being miserable and waiting for happily ever after (which isn't real), life keeps on changing, we get bored so that's why I'll have a dynamic and entertaining life.
What rules? I didn't realize there were rules. Who makes them by the way? I'd love to hear them. Not that I intend to follow any, just curious. I prefer following my own rules. I always sit down when I pee, because I choose to. I hoover and do the washing-up. In bed I'm a sub. I don't drive a car, which is again a choice. I don't watch football, or any kind of sports. In fact I don't own a TV. I don't socialize in pubs either. I'm very good with kids. In fact I've been an aupair for a few families. Yet I don't cook and I'm good at DIY. I am confident, trustworthy and I know how to provide safety and security in life.
What does all that make me?
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(Under 18)
+1 y
I don't fink so. - My favorite color is Blue - I hate girl toys - I love playing video games - Hate girls, love hanging out with boys - It's often said that a girl will flush while coming in contact with a boy. Wot? I do the "guy" handshake-hug thingy with every boy I have established a friendship with - Hairy arms are gross? I don't think so. I have a fair amount of hair on my arms, but I love it. It's what makes me unique. (And waxing is painful)
I don't know what more gender roles are there. ---Peace---
1
4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
"Hating girls" is just internalized misogyny, it doesn't make someone cool. You are just 14 though, teens have that sort of mindset sadly.
I didn't say it was cool. Girls in my life are totally messed up. I guess I do have that mindset. But I don't intend on changing it. I do not hate all girls. Just the ones in my specific life are cruel and backstabbers.
Hardly!! I don't mistreat women, i don't go for cars or fighting or drinking beer all day long, action movies every great once in a while are okay but, I'd prefer comedy or sci-fi. I don't have sex every day, I don't cheat on a girl if I'm EVER lucky enough to get one, I have no problem with wearing female attire, just as most women have no problem wearing male attire, I'm not interested in beating people up because they're different from me, I think for myself rather than listen to ANYTHING CNN, tells me, I use my brain first, or, at least, TRY to!!
As for gender roles, I do but at the same time I don’t, I absolutely love feminine things and feminine activities but I also heavily enjoy masculine things and activities. I don’t like enforcing a certain one on myself but rather just doing what I want to do. One day wear a puffy dress and the next a pair of basketball shorts. No shame in being who you are.
Don’t let outdated ideas control you.
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
People think I’m feminine because of my attractiveness (not my words), and the fact I choose to grow my nails long. However, I’ve always felt more on the male side. I live in jeans and never wear dresses. I’m capable of the usual ‘male’ household tasks, DIY and things like gardening, mowing the lawn etc. I once made a 6” wooden back gate for example (which is still in place), build a wooden playhouse for my youngest, and I tiled and painted my family bathroom when I was about 15 lol. (I’ve also tiled a kitchen floor in this house). However, I can’t change a tyre lol I’m an excellent cook and baker, and can organise the household like clockwork. And I enjoy wearing lipstick lol.
Yep, I feel happier and more comfortable in my "gender rules".
I personally feel Society will be unhappier in a whole if we we're to go against the natural makeup of human behaviour.
E. g. a more feminine guy would have a harder time attracting a girl because females of any species (mostly mammals) are instinctively attracted to the strongest aka more dominat males.
The same way guys are attracted to the most feminine females.
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Anonymous(30-35)
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