Do you ever feel pressured , to change who you are to please others?

Question

I have learned , that you have to love yourself unconditionally, . When that happens, you won't have that need, to change , for others.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Not at all, if someone doesn’t like you for the way you are then they shouldn’t mean anything to you , people that are worth keeping by your side are people that accept you for you , you should never change who you are to be accepted by others , if you do that then it’s fake and it still doesn’t mean anything., Being accepted for image is pathetic unless you are making money from it , The only way you can change yourself is for yourself , but don’t do it for someone else, Most people in this world are brainwashed from what they see on tv or on the internet thinking they need to look a certain way , dress a certain way , be a certain weight etc. To be accepted , when It’s all false reality. It’s sad that this world is brainwashed that way , while these companies are laughing their way to the bank People are so brainwashed to believe image is more important then the heart, People that think that way are dealing with their own insecurities , I am not saying don’t exercise and just let yourself go but you do what makes you happy , not do what others want you to do , if someone tells you you need to lose weight or you need to dress better , tell them to go fuck themselves and tell them to look in the mirror , people that can criticize others to make themselves feel better about themselves are worthless pieces of shit and they are probably the most insecure person you will ever meet. People like that , just remove them from your life cuz they mean nothing , There time will come when they realize they were a total piece of shit for judging people that way , If this world was smart , we should all put are phones down and look at the world around us , 99 percent of the shit we see on the internet is bullshit , it’s a money making scam , I went to an amusement park yesterday and 99 percent of the people there didn’t look like anything that I see on the internet , cuz it’s all bullshit , put your phones down and look at the world around you , it’s a much better place then the social media false world

Diablopawn · Accepted Answer

I am who i am, if people don't like it, well fine. I am a Lone Wolf anyways.

Cherry234 · Answer

I felt like at times I have been pressured to change for others. There are people who told me I need to "get out of my shell" or that I'm too quiet. I'm naturally introverted so I don't see anything wrong with not being naturally outgoing. I think it's better than talking too much and not being able to shut my mouth. If I really like someone or if there's a topic I'm passionate about then I can talk with that person or talk about that topic for hours. I have the ability to hold a conversation with someone even though I'm not really outgoing

muscularbumblebee · Answer

Occasionally yes but do it less nowadays and as I grow older.

For career: Tattoos and bodybuilding isn’t the usual for someone in the legal industry but if I cover them up with modest clothing I don’t see why it’s anyone’s business. On the other hand I still have to look professional and adhere to these lawyer standards if I was in a typical office

For men: not only having a muscular body and being tall for a woman but also dressing rather gothic and occasionally in men’s clothing as it’s more comfortable. Sometimes I get jealous of more ‘feminine woman’ but at least I’m myself.. mind you when I went on dates in the past there were times a few years back I would wear a tight dress to impress. Now I don’t do that for men but wearing makeup sometimes still (for other women too)

ohshee · Answer

Yeah I don't you kind of giggle when that happens everybody wants you to be somebody else so they can get what they want when somebody wants you to change there's a reason for it don't let anybody push you to do anything because to be honest you're the only person that compression yourself because you're trying to please somebody else forget that please yourself that others like you for you Who You Are and if they don't they can just keep walking if they truly like you as a human as a person as a friend they will be back you're the only person that could control yourself you're the only person in this world that can make yourself happy or sad nobody else somebody else those feelings come from the outside yourself that comes from the inside and the inside is where it's all at nobody can make you feel anything from the outside only you can do it from the inside it's your choice so smile if you want to change something about you that's your choice in only your choice

caring__1 · Answer

This is very true. It's amazing, though, how many people who say this expect others to change for them. Connect with aspects of yourself that you appreciate and with others you appreciate as they already are... not for the potential they can become. If everyone is nurtured to be unique rather than conform, we'd have a much more productive and positive society.

Moimaris · Answer

Yes I’m struggling with it a lot. I think I have a small midlife crisis. I’m turning 30 and I feel lonely. I’m trying to act en dress to attract people but I’m not happy inside. I’m also an introvert and I’m always trying to please others. I’m going to try from this week on to change this. I need to be happy with myself.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I used to, yes. I was raised by a narcissist to be a people pleaser.

As I've grown older, I've realized my life is just so much better being true to myself and not adjusting my core to others.

I have "flex", but I have hard limits and boundaries I will enforce fiercely. I'll be polite or compassionate, but won't to out of my way to bring comfort to asshole strangers.

JackSmy · Answer

YEAH!! LIKE EVERY FCKING DAY!! Don't you?
People want ones that are like them, and ASS-KISSERS, as Bosses, and can't handle FREE THINKERS!!
I AM, WHO I AM, but every day, I have to suppress that, at work, because those IDIOTS cannot handle the TRUTH that I KNOW, and would speak, as to how they are FAILING, and it is SOOOOOO EASY to fix!! It's Painful, sometimes, watching them just screw up, and muzzle me, when I could help!!

serious · Answer

No, I don't. Yes I can change but that will be for the right reasons and not to please others. If people don't like me or don't accept me then so be it. I don't care.

I have always done what I thought was correct and I will continue to do so irrespective of the consequences.

nobody4E · Answer

Yes, almost 24/7. I have a stacking amount of selfhatred, so i always think i should remove myslef from a situation cause i won't be able to please those around me, i feel like a problem. And dislike me so i feel pressured by myslef yes. And it doesn't matter how kind people are or how much confirmation they give, it's almost like a tattoo in my brain. Like I'm wired to feel the need to be something different than myself.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I am a member of the human race aren't I? To be human is to be expected to conform. I've learned over the years some things you just have to do lest you get shunned by society.
That's the great thing about getting older. When you reach a certain age you can go outside with out pants. You can give little kids the finger. etc. and people chalk it up to senility

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

It was something I learned to adjust from as I got older. Not now no. People take me as they find me.

haooy · Answer

This is where I get into problem with self love and self help, you should love yourself, but you should be also be a kind to people and treat them the way you want to be treated. In the name of self-love I have seen people complete a-hole and treating people like shit. I mean there is self-love but it ain't the only thing.

Coulis · Answer

Never happen. I don't know how to be anyone but me. That isn't to say that you don't adjust to fit the social context or situation. But to change me to please others? No no no that's just not at all how I do things.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Not to please others but to get what I want out of life.

nolabels · Answer

There was a time in my life when I felt that sort of pressure, but I never succumbed to it. I'm glad I didn't, and I no longer experience that sort of pressure.

ConfusedMarried · Answer

You should not put yourself in a environment where you can't be your self. Engage with people who like you for who you are without changing. I don't feel pressured to change who I am.

AndrewMG · Answer

Maybe when I was younger... but I think that's part of growing up. Ironically moving away from home and living independently was the first time I felt comfortable with myself (despite that being the chance to reinvent myself lol).

Mgpretty23 · Answer

Only all the time. I have anxiety and this is the reason why I get anxious, I just feel like such a burden on others even though I’m not doing anything wrong.

Lillie_xo · Answer

all the time- haha - (っ- ‸ – ς) I avoid doing it though ! My friends like me as I am so I dont see a point in changing ! (● ‿ ● )

MCheetah · Answer

I used to. Then I realized people suck and most of them are liars and phonies. I wish I could change the way I look, but that's mostly for me.

Fireguy17 · Answer

This is me. I know I am a pretty nice person, and I try to treat people how I like to be treated. I can't get taller, or smarter. I can lose weight, but after that I'm pretty much just me.

Hairylegs222 · Answer

It's their issue having a problem with it. However, when someone is being immature I try to point it out and hope they stop eventually. Staying immature forever is sad.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Yes, Being Shy is a part of who I am and it makes me who I am but People want me to get rid of it. Would you get rid of something that's a big part of who you are?

pjf1958 · Answer

When i was younger it was a lot more common. it seems ludicrous now.

Medlife · Answer

No, I am who I am if someone doesn't like me it is not my problem.

ariadneR · Answer

I used to. Now if you don't like me tough shut. That's your loss. Cause I'm an absolute fucking delight

exitseven · Answer

Not really. I usually try to be myself and if people do not like it which is most of the time, well they know what they can do.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

No, but it probably depends on what quality or qualities are people having an issue with me for.

Twalli · Answer

I found out the same thing you did. It's not easy to love yourself though. I do, but it wasn't easy.

splashmustache · Answer

I never change myself to please others. If i change myself i do it for me.

qwert1234 · Answer

No pressure, but I have to be aware if I am projecting something wrong in general.

rcljr · Answer

Not at all, I am who I am and if someone doesn’t like it that is their problem, not mine.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to feel pressured in the past. Now, I just don’t care anymore. I’ll do whatever I want to do. This is my life and if I make any mistakes, I only have myself to blame and that’s fine.

Iron_Man · Answer

I’m a Christian person I’m not changing for anybody

Rashnaa · Answer

I did that when I was in college to other girls like me and i needed friends

Joshua0213 · Answer

Nah, fuck others. If they don't like me for who I am, I dont care

Anonymous · Answer

I used to bully my friends and be homophobic, thankfully I learned to love myself and never changed :)

Anonymous · Answer

No and when I do, I gently ask them to f**k off and mind their own business.

Mike6977 · Answer

I am who I am and I don't need others or their approval

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

Not that I can recall I'm me you either except that or you don't  Your choice

Anonymous · Answer

Ya I do and I’m constantly fighting to figure out myself without other peoples opinions

girlzruleboyzdrool · Answer

Never. And Def. Not for my mother in law

_no_one_ · Answer

Used to but now i just don't care

Account · Answer

I cannot feel that need.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap. I actively ignore it.

crazy8000 · Answer

Anyone trying that end up losing me.

he-takes-a-part · Answer

Haha this way person can forget what he was

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

A lot.

Anonymous · Answer

No pressure. I choose to change myself to fit in

Medhat-M · Answer

Spot on 👌

Mustermann · Answer

No, not doing that.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

No..

Indiepop123 · Answer

Ya unfortunately

Pterodon · Answer

Fuck no

Sabretooth · Answer

Plenty have tried.

Do you ever feel pressured , to change who you are to please others?

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