How do I know if my so call crush/use to be friends with benefits really block this girl?

[Anonymous]

So just this past week, I had a conversation with him, about her and I told him about this girl. Now, apparently her and I was, suppose to be friends! but she always has a tendency coming after they guys who I like or some what involved with. But anyways, fast forwarding on, I told him to block her and how I wish for them to, to no have any more communication bc she is trouble. And plus, I k what type of hoe and chick she is. But anyways. He was active like 1 hour ago and she was 2 hours ago. Usually I know when gets done with banging a girl, he usually gives her an hour or two. Because, if he gets off at 11a. m then don't have to get his son until like 5. What else, is he doing in between then. Now her husband is usually in the house with her for a fee hours until he has to go to work. And plus she has kids. But anyways. I don't want to make any real assumptions and it's time for me to move on to something else. But from the 1st time that I knew that they was talking. It was like every time that I would look at her photo then his. It was this energy that I kept getting. Plus the way that she was acting towards me. Like she hasn't really reach out to me since, the last time I saw her a few days ago. And he only has been keeping his distance, b. c I told him about my boyfriend. So he told me that he respects that. And lately, he's been like a ghost towards me. But I also feel that he had other girls and once I do become un single lol. He'll be trying to come back my way. But anyways. If he says that he blocked her, should I really take his word on it. Like, the weird part about it. keep reading update to question below...

Updates

+1 y

Is nowadays when I look at her photo then his. I only get silence or static. But lately my nerves have been all over, and I do have this tightness in my stomach aka my gut. But again, I already asked him, like 2 times already if he blocked her. And he said he did, already, he said i got you. But some what of mean, DON'T feel to convince, but ANOTHER part says yes it's confirm, that he did. But again. She was last log on like 2 hours ago.

Updates

+1 y

like 3p. m and he got offline around 4p. m. that's just an hour difference but it's close enough. But am I tripping at this point, or could they still be communication low-key?

[Anonymous]

Okay, I’m going to tell you this kindly so I hope you don’t take offense. But this is a super lengthy, very emotionally driven post about a guy who “was” a friends with benefits, not your boyfriend. I’m sorry but it just isn’t your place to tell him what to do, like blocking your friend. I absolutely understand why you’re upset and annoyed, and yes she is SUPER shady and super WRONG for going after a guy you hooked up with. She has no respect for girl code and I would end that friendship. But you cannot invest so much time and energy into trying to keep them apart. Why? Because you will drive yourself crazy wondering what’s going on, and again, it’s just not your place. This isn’t a cheating boyfriend or even someone you are dating, he’s just a guy that things didn’t work out with. So just do yourself a big favor and move on. I know it’s hard, and you probably don’t want to, but there is literally nothing you can do. If they decide to flirt and hook up, then you cannot stop them or even try to bc he’s not your man. Karma will take care of that situation, honey. But you have to let it go, and give yourself some peace of mind bc you are waaay too emotionally invested in a guy who only used you for sex and will most likely never want more.

[Asker]

I like your ANSWER. And I can't be mad at you, and these last couple of days I have been driving myself crazy. Like I literally went to her house hours yesterday and confronted her about the situation and let her know what I didn't like. And she still lied about it. But having a face-to-face conversation maybe it will make her think things differently. And again you're right I can't be mad but him and I are way more than just friends with benefits. Then I'm not just stressing or pressed on him I just know what type of girl she is and the type of things that she does. And I personally just don't like the fact her talking to him. And yeah I'm a little bit embarrassed because about the situation and how much I begged him over this past week about her, I feel like- I'm trying to claim him as he's mines. And he probably felt that I was crazy I was blowing his inbox up this past week about this girl and them to not talking. But he understood the assignment and did what I asked, even though that he was keeping us as a secret and didn't want to tell me. And like I told her to, I combining into this girl a whole lot about this man and I just submitted the truth to her and said, that he is my 2nd real true love.

[Asker]

Of course, he ain't shit lol. But him and I are better then we ever was. And I won't allow this girl to get in between. And truthfully I shouldn't have to be this way me cutting her off and then him staying I've known her a lot longer. But she has done this before, and the person who I value the most it just really irking my nerves and got under my skin. Maybe I am doing a bit too much is a lot of my friends and people are starting to ask are you two together is he your boyfriend do you want more because you're talkin Mad Reckless and crazy. And I most recently apologized to him about the whole thing because it is embarrassing, and he could have been like you're not my girlfriend. Or said I'm not doing anything. But I need to stop trying to betray like I'm his lady. Him and I are supposed to be working as friends and building that Foundation back again. But maybe I'm not ready to let the emotional part go in ways. The one thing I will say while I'm over here tripping about him, he's invest with someone else. And trust and believe if this was anybody else I knew that I was close to I would have no problems. But truthfully and honestly I just don't want them talking I mean is that so wrong. 😳😳😒😔

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like you’re in a situationship, sis, and as someone who’s been in that before let me tell you it will not pay off. I think after we invest so much time and energy in a person, we want the reward, which is ultimately a relationship. And then you’re having sex, and we both know that intensifies things and complicates them more. If he wanted a relationship, you’d be in one with him, guaranteed. But if he isn’t committing by now, then he’s not going to and I know you don’t want to hear that. What’s hurting you about the situation with him and your friend is not only the betrayal, but you feeling possessive of a man that isn’t yours. They are laughing at you in private, joking about how intensely you don’t want them to talk and making you a laughing stock. But they would never, ever tell you and that makes THEM miserable and shitty. You’re investing your energy/feelings in the wrong situation. You absolutely don’t want it to happen, and I 200% agree that you have the right to feel that way, but you can’t stop them, unfortunately. No matter how you beg and plead for it to stop, it won’t, you just won’t know about it bc they are trash people. You can’t be a crazy person, clocking their every move, what times they do this or that, and arguing at even the thought of them talking. It’s so unhealthy for you, love. Then there’s no payout to this, no commitment from him, no truth from either of them. You will go absolutely insane. If I were you I’d cut them both off, and move forward to something positive and healthy. You should want that for yourself, not this man feeding you lies and stringing you along. I’m telling you this as I’d tell any of my friends. It may sound very blunt, but I believe skirting around the truth, even if the truth hurts, is what is the most helpful in the end.

[Asker]

I'm at that age where I prefer to hear the truth then alive honesty is the best policy even if it does hurt or makes you mad. And to be real honest with you I have thought about cutting him off as well because when I had this conversation with him and I said let me know if any of my friends being your DM's. He's like of course I wouldn't mess with any of your friend and he said he has a lot of respect for me. But the fact is that you didn't tell me right away that's a problem for me but when it came down to asking him he was more open then she was and she's supposed to be loyal to me not him. He could have lied right along with him. But I was able to get some clarity from a psychic and she broke it down and told me everything.

[Asker]

And I ask a psychic why does she keep doing this stuff and she said because she's jealous and she said even if you and him never dated that's still yours it belongs to you she said go get your man and tell her to keep her hands off. Cuz I asked her the same thing I said is it wrong to feel like that she said absolutely not. She said this man has done some stuff to you I can see and cause you pain and may not have gave you the committed that you want. But she did say I do see him trying to be a better person and she said he'd rather cut her off and lose you. And you're right she didn't say anything about a commitment that he wanted she said there's just certain things that he wouldn't do as far as stepping over boundaries. But you're right even if him and I did date, I probably would be acting like this too because honestly I really don't trust him, and you're right if you wanted me to be his lady he would have made me his a long time ago 8 years of knowing each other and seven years of sexting WTF. And trust me babe I already cut the sex part off with him and I like months ago even though I didn't tell him completely like the truth, and it seems like when I tell him no more sex he gets butt hurt about it he doesn't trip like he used to but he says I understand if you don't but then yet months or years later he'll ask me again. And if he's doing all these different women then he don't need my body. But anyways, I told him that I had a boyfriend and how him and I are in a serious committed relationship.

[Asker]

And he said he understood and he said I have a lot of respect for you. So lately he's been at a distance but I'm sure that he's been in somebody else's cheeks, which I'm not tripping about that lol. And I had a goal here and it succeed. But it seems like anytime that I do get online she gets off like he doesn't even talk to me he doesn't even send me any messages. Don't check up on me or anything. And I get it from his end, is a respect thing. But when I ask the psychic why doesn't he reach out to me like that. And she automatically picked up and said did you mention to him about a relationship that you had with someone. And I said yeah I did actually and she said yet he's not trying to move forward because he doesn't want to get involved and that relationship but he doesn't want you to have that relationship even but he's playing it cool. And I said why doesn't he want me to have that relationship. She said you and him are so much alike but she said to answer your question he feels in his mind that he doesn't like to see you with other guys and expect you to only want him. But she said he also feels like that he can go out here and talk to anybody he wishes and wants. Then she did tell me to to be mindful and don't get too close because there is somebody that around him that he is invested in and has more of emotional and physical connection with. I said well if that's the case then he doesn't eat me so she said honey he doesn't want to get serious. She said yes they do flirt and they do hookup but he's not really planning anything with her at this moment yet. So she told me don't feel bad or don't feel upset because you did the right thing by pulling back and away from him. But she said he doesn't want to lose you and I said okay so why does he every now and then you know keep wanting sex for me if he's getting it elsewhere.

[Asker]

She said in his mind he feels that you're one of his best sex partner but then she said that he has a strong sexual desire for you. So she said deacon be with multiple women but he really wants to be with you and that way. She said I'm going to share this with you she said it's almost like in his mind that he would cut off all his other partners for you but then he knows that's like a relationship at that point and he's not ready for that and he knows that's what you're looking for and that you want and he's not ready to provide. So like you said I'm not mad or upset about your honesty because even a psychic says he doesn't want a relationship. And it may seem like I'm pressing him but I'm not as your think. I just think I have to detach myself emotionally. So I asked what can I do to move forward and to some having these feelings for him because like you said yourself is not going anywhere. So she said if you really want to move forward from him then you have to stop thinking about him and consuming every thought of him. She said I'm sure that you can do this but don't kill your brain cells you're still young. So is been past time for me to move on from this situation with him. Smh. I'm going to let you in on something he lied to me back in 2014 and said that he was single then we got into a really first big argument back in 2016 and I blocked him on my life I became my own private investigation and start snooping through this s***. And saw him and some girl and a picture and it said happy one year anniversary baby I'm so happy that we made it this far then a year in 2017 he had a son who is now four years old. That was the time to be done with him and his BS and games. So trust and believe his ass ain't off the hook sweetie. Smh

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely believe in psychics, as I’ve had one break down a huge betrayal to me without even asking her or telling her a single thing about my ex. It was crazy af lol. But what I will say is that psychics are meant to give you an idea of a situation or a bit of clarity, but their readings should only be taken with a grain of salt in your overall decision making, especially with your situation bc at the end of the day, there’s no solid proof of anything. You want to make a decision based off the things you DO know though, which is that they’ve both lied and are acting very suspiciously. I could see what the psychic means about your “friend” being jealous, but in general, your friend is acting as any other shady girl who wants a piece of what you’ve made sound so good. Like I bet you spent many different times talking or venting to her about him, like praising any good thing he does, expressing how much you like him, etc. What’s unfortunate is that in those moments, you were only making him sound more interesting to her, more desirable than she would’ve thought before, so it was like digging your own grave. Women can be sooo freaking trifling and shady, so I stopped bringing guys I liked around my female friends and I don’t talk about the guy. Then there’s no incentive for my friends to have interest in him, and pursue.

[Asker]

And many people and psychics have told me that you don't have to worry about anything with this man because he always finds his way back to you regardless so you always have the opportunity to meet again. But as you suggested there comes a time where you move the hell on I forget about the past. 😁😁😁😁

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like the psychic is misleading you with talking about this guys “true motives”, and to fault, they do this bc you’re paying for their time and they are giving you what you want to hear. Of course you want to feel like you’re the best for him, and that he wants you more than anyone etc etc, but thinking like that will only trap you with him more and make it harder to let go. Because what are his actions saying? Actions are the real fact, not a tarot card session. He’s showing inconsistency, indecisiveness and commitment issues. These are the things you can actually see. If he’s so eager to be with you and all that, then why hasn’t he done it? Why string you along and use you for 8 years, giving you just enough rope to stick around but pulling back when you get serious, you know? This isn’t me taking away from what the psychic said, bc I absolutely believe in their profession. But like I said, I think it’s not always the most genuine. Especially when money is involved.

[Opinion Owner]

But ultimately, I feel like him and your friend have created a stressful mess and I’d cut them both off. I wouldn’t know who to believe, and overall it’s shady. They should’ve never added eachother as friends to begin with or dm’d back and forth. There’s no reason for that. I can’t help but feel like there’s flirting and probably sexting, because she is a needy woman and probably bored in her marriage so she’s loving the attention. It’s really messed up and grounds to cut her off. I’m so glad you’ve gotten a new boyfriend tho, and for his sake, I’d cut the other guy off, rather than straddle the line between the two. I think you ultimately want the other guy and that’s why you put yourself through this, but after so long and no commitment, I’d feel like the writing is on the wall. At least this new guy is committed to you, and not being shady, talking to your friend.

[Asker]

That's so true now let me ask you this and I agree with you 100% now besides with the l psychic told me. I absolutely do find this insane myself and that's why I feel kind of bound to him, not saying that he owns me or anything like that but we have been going at this for seven years sexually in eight years known each other. And I want you to keep it a hundred with me like you have been. But why would somebody keep you around like he knows I'm not trying to sleep with him regardless if I have to tell him about a boyfriend or not. And I'm not assuming anything like he wants a commitment in the future Ono. But if it's just the sex that he likes with me that's crazy. Or as a psychic says he loves sex with me, smh. Because any of my past relationships and guys who I have had a sexual relationship with they all are going on and that is kind of confusing for me why is this guy still around..

[Opinion Owner]

What I would say about that is to pay attention to what’s happening with you two NOW, and not what you hope for in the future, or the moments he has been good to you in the past. I understand why it’s hard to let go: you’ve invested years of back and forth, time, energy, emotions, etc. You want payout, ultimately. But realistically, where has that invested time gotten you in the here and now? He still won’t commit but is content to string you along, fill your head with hopes/dreams, use you for sex, then when someone else “better” comes along, he will go to that. It’s fucked, because that idiot truthfully thinks he can do better, otherwise he would be with you. Men like him will always look for more, but keep you on the back burner as a last resort. And why? Because he knows he can. He has hurt you in so many ways in the past and you take him back somehow each time. He thinks he can count on this and you’re so used to this repetitive cycle that you allow his behavior without a second thought. What’s worse is that his presence affects you finding true happiness. Like right now you have a man who’s committed to you, and you probably have had this potential with other men in the past. But as soon as this guy steps back into the picture, he grabs your focus. You stop putting in real effort and commitment towards your new man and give it right back to the man who doesn’t appreciate it. This is a toxic cycle, but you can break it. As the psychics said — maybe you will ultimately end up together in the end. But don’t hold on to hope for a “maybe” when you already have someone who is giving you “yes”. Don’t hold back from really finding true love because you want this man’s love the most. He wouldn’t do the same for you and that is a fact, otherwise he would be with you and never risk losing you, because I’m sure if he committed, you would give him that energy. You’d do everything NOT to lose him. You deserve that from someone, and not the scraps he gives you.

[Opinion Owner]

Scratch the part about sex, because I somehow missed that you said he isn’t getting any from you, which of course is good! But I do believe that he is putting you on the backburner as a safety net. Tbh, the women he pursues probably won’t put up with his shit, but you do. I think that is a factor in why he has devalued you in his mind and won’t commit. It’s wrong of him, 100% but I think it’s time to break the chain and show him something different. Whatever is happening with him and your friend, let that be their dumb ass business lol they are both sleazy for doing this and you KNOW it won’t work out in the end. That karma is going to screw them hard bc you can’t do bad shit in life and get a reward. But allow yourself peace of mind, and give the man who deserves your attention the energy you give your ex. Be happy, truly happy with the man who doesn’t have the bad track record and is doing right be you. I know it’s hard to move on, but do whatever you have to. Block your ex without fear of him not coming back or losing him — you cannot lose what isn’t yours.

[Opinion Owner]

I’d block the friend too, because there is no coming back from what she has done. You should have to ask, beg, or plead with EITHER of them to leave the other alone. To me, that shows there is more than they will tell you and you can’t trust them whatsoever. She is so selfish and needy that she will destroy your friendship to get this guy that she probably doesn’t even want, she just desires attention and to feel wanted. She has mental issues, probably past trauma to address, fr. And for him? Well he’s a non-committing sack of trash who KNOWS what hurts you and still does it. That’s not love, and he’s not someone to lose a good person over.

[Opinion Owner]

*shouldn’t have to

[Asker]

I agree a thousand percent with you. And, I DON'T trust either one of them. The only thing is he's a liar and so is she. And believe it or not sometimes I can Channel energy that's how I knew that there was some communication going on between them too. And as both of the psychics with saying she was gassing him up Charming him and brother if he tells me that she had no chance with him he still was falling for it. He was entertaining that as well. You see the differences between him and her. When I asked her if she and him were talking she still denied it and said No. And when I went to go check her phone it did seem like he blocked her so I'm proud of him for that. But when I had this conversation with him. I told him to let me know if any of my friends are in your DMs in the simple fact that he didn't tell me. But see here's the twist now I'm not going to go all hard on her completely but he kind of gets a break from me a little bit. But from what the second psychic told me was that she was using my name and saying that I said that those two can talk. And I made him show me some conversations and she basically was asking him questions about me and him. But using my name. But again they are both trifling and a simple fact that he says he wasn't falling for that he was. Like I said to him before, you need to do better. And no as far as communication I'm not sure how long they have been talking and as far as them SEXTING I don't think that they have Just Energy tells me that they haven't. And from the last psychic reading that woman said this woman is still sleeping around with different guys and she definitely sure you have plans for this man of yours.

[Asker]

And I even asked her I said so why haven't Ray told me this and she said because he's scared he's afraid that he's going to lose you. And I'm trying my best not to cry as I type this. :(. I'm only upset and still in my angry feelings towards her. Because she lied his loyalty don't mean s*** but with her it does because she's supposed to be my so-called friend and supposed to have my back. And she didn't. You literally go that far and beyond your limits to talk to this man. And you are right I have confined it and my feelings about this girl The Good the Bad and the crazy. And I didn't think that this would actually turn her attention towards him. And you're right she isn't happy in her marriage. But the psychic told me don't be mad at him she said I see in his cards that he has done a lot of stuff to you and that's not right either but she also said don't trust him too eagerly. But she said that this man has a lot of respect for you and she said his only reasons why he didn't tell you this because he was afraid of losing you. She says so go a little easy on him and she said she was going to put in some spiritual work for me. And she said I don't like this girl's energy and I don't like what she's doing but the simple fact before we even start the reading it was a simple question if her and him was talking. And the first thing she picked up was let me ask you does she have a boy or girl.

[Asker]

And the first psychic I did talk to him not to get confusing I said have those two been talking and she said they have but they've been hiding it. And I said really I said that's crazy. And I said so why hasn't he told me this and the first psychic said that she mentioned that there was multiple accounts that she has and been talking to him on. And when I went to go check her phone, there was. And both psychics said that she reached out to him trying to gain some type of information to get closer to him. And I will not forget what that first psychics in she said she studied Charming him and he likes the attention. She did mention to me also that they like hanging out. But she's like he's not planning a serious relationship with her he only just enjoys the attention. And that's what the other psychic said something similar like that too but she didn't mention to me that they were hanging out. She said that this girl has other plans for him. And broke it down. But she said again don't be so hard on him because he's kind of innocent here to a degree. But she said that she messaged him with questions. And I only question his actions like you were saying how long was he plan on keeping us away from me until they actually f*****. But the psychic said trust me your guy wants no part of this woman ask him and he would tell you. So I did. He said she wasn't fooling me LOL but she did but he said it wasn't going to happen with her and I anyways. He said I was actually more confused than anything. But like you said both of them need to be cut off because if somebody is in your inbox and they're asking questions about me that's for you to come to me directly and say hey I think one of your friends hit me up. Like BITCH are you frfr. But again I can't really be salty just at her. But she does seem very desperate for wanting this man's attention. She's like oh I've been getting random numbers in my DMs and maybe your guy has something to do with this.

[Asker]

And she's like what's his number so I can see if his name was on the list. You see what I mean. She's the one that's acting shady. This man moved on to something else. And I don't think that he's really worried about me or her. He said that he got me. . But... does he really. Give me Bobby and at this point he gets an ultimatum. I'm giving him one more free chance just one because he has done a lot of s*** to me and I have given this man more than enough chances.. but you keep something like this from me as f***** up. And that just shows that if we are or got into a relationship. That he would be keeping secrets. And that's the thing I noticed with him he'll come to me first with asking about sex. But when he can't get what he wants from me. He goes to the next best thing. Like I told her yesterday night. I already know that she's a hoe but he is a whore himself. How do you go around sleeping with different women like that and how can she go around sleeping with different men like that when she's married. She's disgusting and so is he.

[Asker]

And the simple fact is when I asked her yesterday but everything I said let me see your phone she's like the only people that I've been talking to is such and such and such a forest and somebody was trying to help her with moving. She said I don't delete any messages that I have on my phone from messenger. But see the thing is, I didn't ask her for all of that. n so you see what I mean she's like telling on herself. And she's like which I don't have a problem with that but her face start turning red when I asked her again I said you and him don't need to be talking at all and is just a simple fact that he shouldn't be entertaining you. And she just kept saying I don't talk to that man you already know how I feel about him. And I said is not the point rules are rules and if you can't follow the rules to get kicked off the team. But I swear I you should have seen shorty yesterday. She's almost home what's his number so I can see if he text me. She said that's all I was asking. And I was so ready to hit her in her face, and to back slap her. She's type of person that would try still contact him and communicate. And when I was telling her stuff that he told me I said yeah he told me that you were ugly and you wasn't even all that attractive. She seemed really hurt lol. Because like you said, she was very much into him... and both psychic says that she finds him attractive she's attracted to your guy. And the only thing that they said about him was that he likes the fact that she was Charming him. So either way he still was getting sucked into that s***. And she would have had him the way she wanted.

[Asker]

Like one of my guy friends said he's too easy and it seems like he'll fall for anyone rather if it is just a f****** go. But I agree with you also he needs to go to. It's just the simple fact that he's out here being a hoe and not even committing to anyone. I do have a question do you have messenger I would like for you to read some conversations and I'm sure you can pick up bulshit when you see it. But one thing I will say I am happy that he didn't do what I said and he blocked her. 😁😁😁. But I'm not okay with the simple fact that he kept us away from me. She deserves to get a knockout but he deserves to get slapped. Because either one of them didn't follow the rules and which I set for both of them. But the only reason why he got to pass the only reason that he got a pass it's because when I asked him about it he admit it and told the truth. While she's out here still lying.. in the message that he did show me she's asking and saying to him or Erica said that it was okay for us to talk. Bitch I never gave you permission to do anything. I never gave you permission to do anything. But the simple fact that it was too much negative information that I was getting from her and it only made me hateful towards her not him. Like I'm honestly I'm not surprised that she would do such thing I'm only just shocked that she will pick somebody who she knows I have history with. SMH

[Asker]

No offense if you're right but it seems like when a white sister get her a white boyfriend JB trying to flex and think every black guy likes them. I mean honestly he prefers and likes black women but he's definitely not against white woman. So is like why would he really be in her inbox. Feel like my friend said some guys be out here on the chase just for some p****. Smh. But as you would say. She's out of pocket and so is he. And again if he is still entertaining this girl. His life support is about to get cut off.

[Asker]

And like I said the first time that and how I knew that there was communication going on it's because I was meditating on her photo and meditating on his. And it was this weird feeling more like my gut my stomach. And t m i but I kept getting like diarrhea or lime soft bowel movements. It was crazy. I still do have that knot in my stomach from time to time so when I do meditate on him and her photo I get either static or either silence. But before, when I did it before.. it was like noisy in my head and ringing in the air and this very warm energy like I felt like my body was on fire. But also it was panicking and I was having a panic attack. My nerves were very bad.

[Asker]

And I only told him then I was in a relationship so he will stop asking and wanting sex from me. But that doesn't really keep him away completely because he he'll ask next year. It does seem like that it did work.. For now. Because I made it believable. But anyways. I shouldn't have to ask them two to leave each other alone. And again to keep it also real with you. I guess why I am on them not talking. It's bc I found him 1st. It's not about us and me and him having SEX. It's just that I love him a lot. And I honestly haven't really released him back into the universe or some where else. And like I told her.. I get it, he's not my man. But, the sad thing about it is me and him get alone better than her and I do. Sure if he's very inconsistent and he talks to multiple people. But if I can separate my emotional feelings, from him. I'll be able to move on the way I can. And even if we don't get together- he definitely won't be getting any free cookies for me that's for sure. But trust me girl. Some girls would have got rid of his ass too. But we are constantly building and making memories. While the relationship is fading with her. I mean this girl doesn't even check up on me. And I get his reasons why he is keeping his distance. Because he really thinks that I'm in a relationship. But there has been times. That he just was checking up on and not wanting any SEX. But she DON'T. But got the nerve to hit him up. That's a person that says I'm guilty. But as a psychic said she's not my friend! and she will keep continue to keep doing stuff like this. And the guy even told me. He said for future references don't bring me around certain girls who you know that's going to be trying to get at the guys you know. He said actually I don't want to talk to none of them. When I call and text you I'm expecting to speak to just you. So I like what you said before.. How you don't do that with certain guys you like.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know if I like the fact that the psychics are basically telling you to coddle him and make it her fault, essentially. I feel like it takes two to tango, and even if she reached out first (which was WRONG AF), he could've left the message there, told you and then left it alone. With that, it's not even about commitment so much as it is about loyalty, and I feel like neither if them were loyal in this situation. Personally I'd feel betrayed all around, and not go easy on either of them. Yes, she is super trifling for what she did but so is he. That why I think you'd be better off just focusing on your new man. Like this is sooo much drama that could easily be cut off.

[Asker]

But she's really messed up. And even yesterday night I came to her as a woman and not as an enemy. But I told her... How I didn't like what she was doing. And I said, this guy and I go wayyyyy back. And basically I was specifically telling her me and him have a better connection with each other and a better understanding with each other and I don't want no interference and I looked at her directly when talking. And I let her know that what she's doing is wrong and I said you shouldn't be talking to him at all I said that may not stop you but at least have some respect. And I told her, her ex be in my inbox. But I shut that down because I'm not interested in any of the guys she known. And again she seem a little bit upset but know more then what she isn't telling me. I said wrong is wrong and regardless if you tell the truth or not. I said, isn't it crazy how you can deal with the guy and they tried to play that girl and try to act funny. And I said regardless of what he says. I know he was still entertain you. And she said exactly!!! in all caps. He was getting off on it and so was she. And that's the truth right there. And many reasons he needs to get out out and kick to the curve. Smh

[Opinion Owner]

They are probably right, he may not want her. But my thing is, I hate when people (like these psychics for example) push all the blame onto the woman who the guy is messing up with. I feel like they're saying what you want to hear, which is a general thing all women want to hear, so it feels factual, if that makes sense. They laying out this 'oh he really cares for you and doesn't want to lose you' 'fight for him, fight for your man' scenario that is just bs. I'm one to act off what I'm actually seeing vs what's 'written in the stars', and with this dude, all I see is someone selfish who thinks its ok to enter and exit your life when he feels like it and thats just not ok. I also see a dude who's a player, and probably trying to mutally talk to your friend. Men are sneaky af. The will have women under strange names in their phones, delete things, block when they know you will see it and just go to all sorts of lengths to keep being a damn dog lol. Overall, you deserve better. You should WANT better, not hanging on to this man based off the hope that he will come around one day, or the psychics filling your mind with fairytales. Things like this just make it so much harder to move on from a toxic situation and give someone who is genuinely all about you a chance.

[Asker]

I agree 100% and trust me it's definitely in my mind. Like each and every time I read back to messages between him and I or go to his page.. I feel the urge to block him. 💔😞. Because it is so much drama and I'm too old for all this. Smh

[Asker]

The 1st psychic that I talk to she never did say anything about chasing after him or to go get your man. She was absolutely hundred with me. She did say that he's not planning a serious relationship with her. But he definitely was falling for that.

[Asker]

She said he's just as fault as she is because he's hiding. She said that they are hiding it but she did say he does keep in touch with her. So they're both out of pocket for this no excuses for either one. And just like I told her yesterday. Regardless if you don't tell me or not he shouldn't have been entertaining you and I'm sure he was. I said I'm not going to slap you because he's not my man, and I'm not going to fight you because that's taking it way too far. And I did say pacifically I said whatever it is that you're not telling me I will always find out. And I told her as long as I'm around, you and him don't need to be talking. But again why cover up for him.. he's a liar and a cheater as well but she's the type of person that likes to spread my business, and try to make the people in my life go against me. My best friend to whom I'm still friends with he most recently just open up to me about the stuff that she would say to him. And again. 8 years- I'm sure this man knows enough about me. And if I want somebody to hate me and that's because we cause an issue with each other I'm asking him a question about one thing then he randomly out the blue said do you want to link up sometimes. Then when I called him out on his BS. I said yes she told me that you were trying to Fuxk her. He never did say that he wasn't. B. c he would have fucked her. And it all goes back to the conclusion, to if they did or not. Because when I was explaining to him about this type of woman and what she does I said what can she really offer you. And he put lol. Like WTF! So I told him by all means if that's what you want go for it.

[Opinion Owner]

Ugh, just the fact that he put lol is so annoying. I hate when men make a joke of our feelings or gaslight us to think we are being emotional or dramatic for actually having feelings. It’s good that you didn’t physically hit or fight her over him, bc getting yourself into that sort of situation, not over any guy but especially when he’s not your man, just feels counterproductive. I hope you act on your urge to block him tho, bc you’re keeping in contact for all the wrong reasons. You’ve got someone better now, so give him your attention and leave those two to their lives.

[Asker]

Hey I really need to talk to you privately off of girls X guys. com do you have Facebook or SnapChat or Instagram I got some stuff to tell you

[Asker]

You don't have to add me as a friend or anything and sorry it took me so long to respond I was dealing with some stuff with him and that girl. Ugh