What do I do for the meantime while patiently waiting for what I truly want?

[Sarahdelacruz]

So basically my whole life I’ve been told that the love of your life and success comes when you least expect it. That’s totally understandable but what exactly do I do for the meantime? I’ve been having so much trouble just being happy. I’m single and broke. I don’t know what to do with my life. Every time I apply for jobs I get rejected. I've attempted multiple different business ventures and they all were unsuccessful. I have yet to meet a man who is worth giving my time to. Every guy I come across just wants sex and I truly do not want to have sex before marriage. I’m just so confused with my current life. I feel time is just passing by day by day while I’m just stuck in the same situation with nothing but big goals. I want to get married and finally have sex. I want to be financially free and live the life I’ve always dreamed of. But seems like these things are taking forever to happen for me. I’ve been praying and praying for years now and I still don’t feel much progress. I just keep getting older and older and the sex cravings just keep getting greater and greater. Also I have bills and debt and no income. The savings are almost gone. Applied to thousands of jobs and no luck. Like what exactly am I supposed to do? Like everyone I talk to tells me to be patient but how am I supposed to just wake up everyday and go to sleep everyday doing absolutely nothing that’ll help me reach what I want in life? How can I even get what I want by doing nothing but being so called patient? Life just currently doesn’t make any sense to me. I just feel so lost and confused every single day. I’m seriously tired of being stuck in this same position. I’m tired of people telling me how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how lucky my future husband will be, how successful I will become yet I don’t feel any of this about myself. Any advice to get me through these difficult times?

[MrOracle]

While you DO have to be patient sometimes, you also have to be pro-active. You have to be out every day working to achieve your goals, and working hard - while important - isn't enough. You also have to work SMART, which means you have to educate yourself on what the best strategies are and what the risks and pitfalls are so you can take reasonable steps to avoid them.

It sounds like you've been "doing the work" and that you aren't afraid of the hard work part, but perhaps you've not done the "work smart" part? Whether it is finding a good job or finding a good man, NETWORKING with your family and friends is one of the best ways to accomplish these things. Let everyone know you are looking for a job and looking for a husband. Make a list of 5 key things that you are looking for - and make sure these lists are realistic - and then let others help you look.

Meanwhile, learn what it is that the other people want. Whether that's figuring out what skills or traits or prerequisites an employer is looking for, or how they want that information presented, knowing those things and being able to adjust your approach can easily be the difference between being hired or being ignored. You could already be everything they want, but if you can't communicate that to them in the way they want or expect, then it won't help you. And the same with a husband: you may have a list of what you want in a man, but are you the kind of woman that kind of man is likely to want? Do you even know what that kind of man is looking for in a wife?

If you can learn to put yourself in their shoes, and find out their perspective, you can adjust your approach and suddenly your results are very different. You have to be able to open your mind and get rid of your assumptions and "what you THINK you know" and start over from scratch, and find out what THEY want and WHY they want it - even if you don't agree with their reasoning.

Let me give you an example: the last two corporate jobs I had, I went into the interview with statistics from my previous jobs - actual data. When they asked me about my experience, instead of saying "I was pretty good with this and I did a lot of that", I said "over a 2 year period, I was solving an average of 31.5 customer calls per day when the average person doing my job was resolving 19, making my resolution numbers the highest out of 47 people in the department. I resolved 2,689 issues last year - more than 200 over the second-place tech - with a call-back rate of under 1%"

Jaws would drop - I could give them real numbers and they could call to verify them - and I always got an offer. Almost no one ever brought numbers to the interview - real, tangible statistics - but that's exactly the kind of thing that makes it easy for a manager to justify a hire. And it worked. But I had to ask a LOT of questions to different people to figure out that trick - no one just offered that information to me - I had to be proactive and I had to be willing to change my approach. But by making the change, I made THEIR job of hiring me very, very EASY for them. And I was able to up my salary demands too.

Learn what your market wants - what would make it easy for them to say "yes" - and give that to them.

[ReneD13]

Life has many ups and downs and it's completely understandable to feel like you're in a place of being stuck. Best thing to do is to keep pushing forward. Like another commenter said take some time and work on yourself. Learn a new skill or language, try different things and figure out where your passion lies. I would continue to keep applying for jobs in the meantime, maybe watch videos to improve your interview skills. Try and keep things simple for a bit. Also, and I know how difficult it will be, look at life in smaller segments. I have a daily goal of making myself better than I was yesterday in some way, that helps make me feel like no matter what else happened that day I achieved something. I never liked the be patient idea, I understand the concept, but I also believe that hard work drives luck. Sounds like you're doing the right things it just hasn't worked out yet, but I do believe if you continue to focus on improving yourself and put the work in on whatever you can everyday you will get through and out of the current rut you feel like you're in.

[Anonymous]

I get the impression you think you cannot move forward with out a knight to save you first. There is nothing to say that he will fulfill your wishes even if he is perfect for you (and it's unlikely he will be). So then, what to do? You follow your own nose and keep trying even when it seems pointless and assume there is no plan b, this is it, and you must make it work. Do the best you can with what you have.
What exactly do you think he's doing while he waits for you to get it together and turn up?

[Sarahdelacruz]

This response makes absolutely no sense. You don’t know me at all and make zero sense.

[Mango-man]

You could work on yourself and your CV. Learn a new language, attend some courses (to help you when applying for a job), maybe try a different town?
I don't know what position you apply for but maybe you didn't meet some criteria so you could work on improving that.
As for men who want relationship and marriage first and sex later, you could start visiting church meetings or similar events where guys primarily don't go to hit on women.

[loveslongnails]

You've applied to "thousands of jobs and no luck" ? Thousands? If you're living in the USA right now, every major department store has hiring signs out. Almost every restaurant is looking for help. There are on-line jobs you don't even have to interview in person for. Nearly any business seems to be looking for help. I don't understand why you can't find work?

[Sarahdelacruz]

I also do not understand why I cannot find work either. Most confusing shit ever.

[Dchrls78104]

I'm in a similar situation as you, and I've been ridiculed for being a virgin. Those who shame virgins are dolts. Ignore them. It might be good to get a hobby that absorbs your time. If you're a Christian, don't neglect your study of the Bible; it's part of what has kept me going.

[HighValue]

Good things normally don't "just happen" for you in life. If you want something you need to work hard for it. Maybe try taking some classes to get a degree or certificate in something so you will have something that other job applicants won't have.

[BestD4u]

First do and try everything so you know what you don't want.
If you don't, how will you know when you think you have what you wanted?

[Sarahdelacruz]

How can I do what I want with no money

[BestD4u]

Well now we are starting to... tell 5 things you want that cost little or nothing. Then 5 things that do cost.. any amount is fine k

[LegendaryIcon]

nothing, you just live life

[Soleil7001]

They lied to you