Based off what past relationships lacked, what's something you were told you should give more of?

Question

I think i put in a lot of effort when in a relationship. I’m pretty good at communicating, seducing/loving/caring and dropping things if my partner needs me. I try to hear them out and give them what they want. But i know i slack in the department of taking couple’s pics, playing video games as a couple, traveling around the states/countries, dressing up and being more sexually experimental. And tbh, i dont really give a damn. It is what it is. Im unlikely to change 🤷‍♀️
I mentioned already that I really dont care to do much on camera. I’ll shoot a video on occasion but not more than like 3 times a year. If its not a racing game, I doubt i’ll sit around to watch/play. I’ve just grown out of that interest. I dont really care to travel to that many places if it doesn't have the attractions I’m looking for. Idgaf about artifacts and the history of places. I’m more than likely wearing hoodies and sweatpants 360 days of the week and I’m willing to dress up maybe 5 times a year. But when i’m home, im always naked so so be it. As for sexually experimental… if it involves anything going in my asshole, sex while on my period, or bringing in a third party, I want no parts in it. So if i dont find someone whos already on the same page about these things, I’ll happily continue to slack in that department. And if i end up single because of it, then whoopty-dew 🤷‍♀️ #FeelFreeToList

Jaximus-Lion · Accepted Answer

Desii the brave, talks about it like it's nothing. I appreciate your bravery dear. I dis have few relationships before i met the Mrs and none of had sex involved so what they told me i did lack in was that am too serious about sex (i was) i was too stiff talking to a girl (i was bad at flirting, very bad 😁 ), i didn't appreciate them with gifts and i cooked all my food at home (for some that was a red flag) that i won't take them out to a nice fincy diners (which i did a lot) . Am good with the Mrs and she likes/love what i do, what i do is! Am a good dancee, i strip dance for my lady only, i am pretty much naked whem an at home, foreplaying is my thing, i take time and i last really long (it depress us both), we do a lot together as shopping, working in the garden, exploring, road trip, cooking and baking, watching some shows, we go to car shows, play in snow and many other things. I communicate more than the Mrs do because she grew up in a house that no one communicated but raised voices, like we did at our house too. I plant flowers with her for us, i don't look at other women (unless they have a good taste in kicks/sneakers), we are both loyal to each other, i would kill and die for her, she can drive me crazy sometimes but hey! That's true love for me

Diodoro · Accepted Answer

I'm more likely to get comments about not caring enough. Which I've only gotten from two girls actually. But it's funny because literally all of my ex's and girls I've dated I said they never question my love for them

Apparently the comments about me not caring enough had more to do with how they felt in the moment when I wouldn't do something that they wanted, when I had a legitimate reason not to do so.

They would rather me gone and done those things anyways because of my love for them, even though afterwards they said they respected me for sticking to me my guns

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Apparently I should give him more opportunity to control me, ask less questions! Let him call all the shots while I be less strong minded and set in weaker boundaries and expectations. Apparently I should give him the entire upper hand and sit on my hands; his time > my time.
Apparently I should learn to accept his lack of communication, lack of effort and lack of interest in making me feel valued and just be a sex dummy who he can call whenever he wants and shut up all otherwise.

Apparently sex is all I had to give and give and give and give and give and everything else I had was invaluable

melanieeeB · Accepted Answer

I'm not good with sweet words, I don't know some women can say really nice things and all lovey-dovey but I really can't.

My first had a real problem with it and would always lecture me kinda about that. And also some guys I dated also complained about that and that I'm somewhat cold.

But like when I feel comfortable around a man, I'm really affectionate and I will show it.
Sadly in all my years, there was just my ex where I could really open up like that.

t-8900 · Answer

I'm an attentive and giving lover. I hate to toot my own horn but I'd say there's not really much I lacked in the relationship department other than maybe some experience and maybe my pacing at times. Aside from that though it's pretty much been all her own doing. The relationships failed because of infidelity or lying on there part. When you're with me what you see is what you get. They mystery is revealed after a short while and I dont lie or blow hot air up your ass. I'm straight with what I want and I'm direct. No games, no bullshit! Only games you'll get are the ones under the sheets and my tendency to spank your ass your lick you on the neck/ear randomly to keep you going nuts when you least expect it.

Hypnos0929 · Answer

Honesty apparently...
However I think a lot of women underestimate what honesty entails (in regards to me). I can be a bit of a jerk and argumentative at times. Simply put I don't want to be honest if it means fighting every 4th conversation. I feel like some women thrive on that kind of discourse and need it to feel important but as a fair warning from me I like to think "If you act the way I thought you'd act, or worse, when I finally decide to be honest or emotional then I can't trust you anymore.".
Maybe I'm a jerk but you can't expect me to be honest then let you overreact.

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

In the past I rarely wanted to go out or spend a lot of time with the guys I dated although I did like them. I was told that I didn’t put in enough effort. I’m an introvert and I just didn’t like going out a lot or being around other ppls family like that. I’m still that way but I do try because it is important to spend time with your mate and make sacrifices sometimes. Honestly since I’ve grown I learned I was unintentionally selfish with my time.

TonyV · Answer

Women don't give feedback. They get upset and end things, I wish they would have said what the problem was so I could either change or tell them they are the problem but no, whatever I lack they keep secret.
I try to communicate and be honest, maybe too much but not I depmand some level of communication, if you Mad and won't tell me why I no longer care, either we can talk it out or you can take that grudge to your grave, I don't care which

Slartybartfast · Answer

I've been told by several people on different occasions that I should expect more from my relationship and that I needed to look after myself.

Keep in mind I would work two full-time jobs and come home to clean and cook dinner. Sleep an hour or two then back to work.

AviatorTom · Answer

That I should listen more. I try, but it's not always easy. Women talk a lot more than men, and often their segues are not good.

Just the other day, my SO was telling me something about our neighbor, and then switched to tell me something about her sister. Then she said, "She's getting the house decorated for Christmas" which I interpreted was her sister. Nope, I later found out she was talking about our neighbor, and she made some snide comment that I never listen.

Wiredone · Answer

My wife and I have our differences. We learned to deal with them. I love the outdoors, she prefers to stay inside. I'll just go fishing or hiking by myself. We've been married for 28 years this December 22nd. Even though we don't have sex anymore we both still love each other.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I do think your standards are wonderful and I don't like period sex, I don't see how these girls just want sex up their asshole and not vaginal, I don't like threesomes when it comes to sex. I want one woman and I don't like a woman who had more ships
coming in her harbor than leaving.

CaptainLegal · Answer

Well first few relationships I was told I didn´t have enough money or car, I was around 18 that period of time. Later at around 21 years old when I started dating again, they were telling me I was working too much. Now at my age dating is harder, most girls at this age are married or have children etc. Happy with my current girlfriend though, she´s amazing, besides last 2 months when she was a bit angry because of a birth control her doctor prescribed and she was getting mad at me easily lol

lancecantee · Answer

Sharing my emotional thoughts on what the relationship is in it's current state. If I ever have a problem, then we go to a mentally safe distance and place to talk about the relationship. Having a safe space to discuss without judgement greatly increased all my relationships there-after. In hindsight, this seems so obvious, and I'm surprised I never thought of it in the way that was asked of me.

Guardian45 · Answer

Something I was told I should give more of my time, my will. I am very strong-headed and need to show more empathy. I don't change my mind easily and believe I am always right. I tend to wear people down with my stubborness. Gradually, I am learning to be more openminded; willing to listen and adapt and show more empathy to important people in my life who matter most.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I'm usually told to give them some alone time rather than constant attention. Guess guys want some alone me time or something.

Some also want me to game with them, even though I'm not that great at it or that interested.

TheBootyChest · Answer

Understanding of who she is and how she 'thinks/works", and more commitment to fix my issues that is keeping us apart from each other.  I don't know if you want more details. Let me know if you do.

ringmaster696 · Answer

I've been told I think too much, and that my need to resolve problems before bed (health and religious reasons) needs to go too. That I need to learn to just let everything go no matter how wrongly I was treated.

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

I have always been pretty open to trying things, but the one thing I need to work on is stopping work from taking over my life, so I can have a life and a real relationship.

expert_advice · Answer

So when you fall for someone, you obviously don't know there's little details about them. It starts after your spend time with them. At one point, you should learn to understand and show maturity. You don't want anything near your asshole.. But why? You are just being stubborn without a proper logic. What is the guy you fall for is amazing in every thing but he's passionate about anal. If you don't care about that person, you might end up being single.

ohshee · Answer

And this is why we All Like & Love you so much. Because your perfect your beautiful just the way you are

TheorionMage · Answer

Less romantic emotion, greater discernment. Shades of Pepe Le Peau... "What a Fool BELIEVES, he sees... the 'wise' man has the power to 'reason' away..." :'(

kellytheman · Answer

I might be somewhat clueless at times and be a little to much of a nice or generous guy which comes off a little naive person. I also kinda lacked what my feeling where at times if she asked or something happened.

exitseven · Answer

I think that most of the relationships that have ended were because I was always pessimistic and depressed

Based off what past relationships lacked, what's something you were told you should give more of?

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