What's the weirdest thing you believed as a kid?

[Celeste951]

I used to think we didn't breathe while sleeping so I always tried to hold my breath wondering how it was possible-
Don't know how I didn't realize sooner TT

[JustinTheGreat]

I thought when you watched movies, it was all live and happening in real time. I used to feel bad for playing my favorite movies over and over again cause I thought I was making the actors work too hard.

[Celeste951]

Aw that’s actually cute! I’d feel bad too TT

[Part2603]

I thought a condom was a magic talisman that prevented pregnancy. I didn't really consider what mechanism a condom would use to achieve that goal, I just heard the repeated phrase that "condoms prevent pregnancy" or "you need a condom to have sex and avoid pregnancy". In that vague sense, it was easy to think of a condom as a machine or talisman or article of clothing or whatever, without being at all aware of the details. Kind of like somebody who doesn't exactly know what a carburetor is but they know they need one to drive a car.

When I said that I didn't realize that you needed to use multiple disposable condoms and I thought you could just repeatedly use the same one, my conversation partner was disgusted.

[AssholeNumberOne]

HA!!

[EllaNella]

so as a very small child (and i don't know why i thought this), i thought there were two types of carnivorous animals: cats including lions, tigers etc. and dogs including wolves etc. this system worked for quite a while until i found out that bears are carnivorous too and desperately tried to fit them into my system as well. i couldn't figure out if i should place them in the cat or the dog category. lol.
i struggled in silence with this for months

[vald9inches]

Ha thats pretty cute! what about birds? They can be carnivores too, how did they fit in your system? lol 😂

[EllaNella]

birds are not mammals so they had their own category 😂

[vald9inches]

@EllaNella thats true! lol i think the way i remembered it when i was a kid i just made one category for carnivores if they had eyes in the front they were carnivores but that kinda gets screwed up when you try to apply it to apes like us lol

[AssholeNumberOne]

Lmao.

For me, it was either thinking people age backwards at a certain point in time, so I looked forward to being able to eat my hot dogs without buns again, or thinking human widows were only widows because they ate their husbands, like the spider.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I thought my grandma was a wolf, because she told me so many tales about wolves, one day I questioned maybe she was a wolf herself, especially with her deep set hazel eyes.

Later found out she told me wolf tales because I was into scary tales and the only way I was sleeping with her was if she told me those stories 😂

[Adronicus]

Got a couple. My grandfather was ornery. Told me "make sure not to eat any of those watermelon seeds or they'll start growing, out your ears & nose". I was mortified for weeks & checking in the mirror for any green sprouts.

My Grandfather also liked to go to the tavern on weekends, always after work & I remember Grams raising he'll about Grandpa "going to see those floozies at the bar". Not sure how I got the idea, tv maybe, but I always assumed floozies were those Vegas dancers that kick their legs up in the air. I believed this for years.

[Gloree]

I thought if you accidentally swallow a seed it would grow in you. I swallowed an orange seed by mistake. My older ones messed with me telling me it would grow in me and I cried a lot thinking an orange tree would grow out of my head. Thank God my aunt came and debunked their mean teasing.

[josephinelcajon]

Not weird but the biggest disappointment in life is not that Santa Clause is not real because he is. It is that ALL families are just as screwed up as yours! We grow up think OMG I must have the most screwed up family! And then slowly we realize all those families we thought had their shit together is just as bad!

[exitseven]

I used to think that all the teachers in my elementary school actually lived there.

[dustybiker]

omg you brought back a deeply buried memory. A teacher told me she didn’t. How funny.

[dustybiker]

When I was a tot I asked my mum for an elephant. My convincing line was to promise to wipe it’s feet before bringing it in the house. That’s the weirdest thing I remember.

[SeekingVirginWife]

I pushed my mom down the stairs because I thought it was funny the way she fell like humpty dumpty of my bedtime story.

[Celeste951]

Sir- lmaoo please

[Eroache69]

That I would get sucked down the drain if I stayed in the tub when the plug was pulled out 😆😂

[Celeste951]

OMG SAME THOUGH- I’m still weary of drain plugs lmao

[Eroache69]

😂😂

[Dazed0N0Confused]

That if you are watermelon seeds they would grow in your stomach

[Celeste951]

OMG YES, I was told something similar about apple seeds- wouldn’t even eat near them lol

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

One time we went to the funeral home cause my great-grandma passed away
there was an apartment on top of the funeral home and I thought that was Heaven
where Jesus was at also my late mom told me that Aspirin if you have no cold would dry my blood up.

[vald9inches]

Hmmmm its kind of a tie not sure what is weirder
1. That the world was a civilized place and there was no corruption.
vs
2. My penis was like a plant and if i gave it water and sunlight it would grow.
lmfao 😂🤣🤣

[Th3ft]

I always thought (irrationally) that the road adjusted to our car rather then our car adjusting to the road. Don’t know where I got the idea… but for the longest time that was just what I thought.

[Graci_e]

My brother and I were trying to figure out where babies came from so we concluded that it must be the wedding ring that gives you a baby.

[Hürrem]

That when a tooth of mine gets extracted, I need to throw it on the roof of the house and the mouse will come and get it. Once they get it, my tooth will grow again like a mouse tooth that is straight and if they don't, my tooth will grow crooked 😂

[MCheetah]

My half-sister once tricked me into thinking I could go to the bathroom for her. Like, a favor.

[BeMuse]

That the stock market was a good place to invest money. Ah being a kid...

[Wonderwhat]

My dad told me you can get poisoned when you leave a spoon in your food while its in the refrigerator take it out and eat. I thought it was true. So I never left my spoon in the food when I put it in the refrigerator.

[theblacksheepcat]

i was actually afraid of the thought of santa claus because the thought of a stranger entering into your house unannounced while everyone sleeps scared me as a kid. one Christmas eve i was afraid to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night because of this so i held my pee but this fear lasted from 6-8 after that someone told me the truth about him being fake

[SimpleGuy95]

I only knew doctor as a medical profession so when ever I met a doctor I rather asked him if he wears a white coat at work and how heals the people he´s working with.
Because that´s what a doctor does as far as I knew.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

That if I put a peanut butter sandwich in the vcr, it would appreciate it... My parents sure didn't.

[Celeste951]

Lmao I love that, I’m sure the vcr appreciated it