The same reason women don't want to get married young is the same reason men don't want to buy a house young?

[Jamie05rhs]

Discuss.

[Likes2drive]

Not really, nobody can buy a house when they’re young unless they get a big inheritance otherwise I would’ve loved to

[Jamie05rhs]

You can buy a shitty one, though.

[Likes2drive]

Even the shitty ones are too expensive now

[Jamie05rhs]

@Likes2drive Right. Because of our current economy (which isn't normal by any means.)

[Likes2drive]

Exactly. Everything is just artificially inflated Right now.

[Jamie05rhs]

Right!

[Sevenpointfive]

haha, i suppose so. for more than just one reason

[Lliam]

I think most girls grow up dreaming of romance, marriage and babies. They've mommied dolls, seen all the Disney princess movies, and heard all the songs about teen romance. They have unrealistic notions about love.

Once they pass puberty and get their new bodies, some girls think they are ready to fall in love with their first crush, have babies, and live happily ever after like in the movies. They think a man's job is to take care of them the way their parents did.

Other women have more sense. They aren't ready to end their life and become a servant before they have even begun to live it. They don't want to get tied down until they have gained education, survival skills, independence, life experience, and the ability to discern men who share their values, hopes, dreams and needs.

I think most women dream about marriage and babies. That's why they pursue relationships. But some are smart enough to wait until they find a man who will make a good partner for life.

I've read that the ideal age for a woman to have her first baby is 30 years old. By then, she is still in prime physical condition and has also developed the maturity to be a good mom.

And guy's brains don't mature until they are 25 years or so old. Plus, most men aren't in a position to support a family financially before their 30s.

My mom was 30 and my dad was 34 when they got married in 1953. I was born in 1954 and my sister three years later. So I don't think there is any rush to get married.

I think marriage is for life. It's a solemn promise. It's the most important decision we will ever make. Unfortunately, some people get married for immature reasons.

Some guys have a fetish for young women and virgins, so they are butt hurt that women no longer get married off in their teens. They are upset that women are no longer dependent on men for survival and won't put up with a guy who thinks he is the boss. They want compliant, dependent, submissive women. In other words, they don't respect women.

[21Cowboy21]

If you can afford a good down payment - and especially if you have duel income and are situated career wise in a consistent area long term 5yrs+ getting a house is a great financial move. Payments may be similar to rent but you are building additional equity off each payment bi-weekly over time. It may also appreciate in value very minimally over long time horizon if held (not always though so be careful when expecting that).

As for getting married young - young woman may have a lot of benefit in that they are desired by both males their same age and males slightly older than them simultaneously. They will naturally try to find and attract the best suitors possible for themselves (whether that be one or several on rotation is up to the individual to decide what makes them happiest - and males will do the same).

Some girls may want to get married young to one person right away - others may chose. to explore and adventure. more. with different people rather than doing so with one person exclusively - that is a reasonable choice too. And males will do the same. Ultimately the individual should choose what choice will make them the happiest over the short and long term taken into consideration overall and pursue that choice - and hopefully they will find a partner or be with partner (s) who they love sharing life with who will want the same.

[Jamie05rhs]

@21Cowboy21 Yes; I'm aware of all of that. But I'm an adventure seeker; I always have been. So I have never wanted to settle down in any particular place and be stuck there. I want the freedom to move around and see the world.

[Jamie05rhs]

"several on rotation". That's called the Cock Carousel.
And that's my point. Many women don't want to get married young because they want to "explore and adventure with different people" (as you so nicely put it. Lol)

[Jamie05rhs]

... But a lot of women actually don't want to get married young even if they are NOT promiscuous!

[Leopard23]

I think its two general reasons as there are two general types of women in this situation.

1. First type of woman wants to spend her teens, twenties and early 30s having fun, going on holiday, hooking up with different guys and maybe find a guy in her 30s to marry her and have kids with. She may accidentally gey pregnant at some point and have a kid or multiple abortions due to not being on birth control

3. Second type of woman meets her future husband in her teens or early twenties. Wants to get a college education, get a decent job, wants to save up for a wedding and a house, gets married before 30, gets pregnant a year after marraige.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah but the third type isn't doing any of that. They are just avoiding relationships and just living their lives with no care for romance whatsoever. Lol

[DizzyDesii]

Okay you gotta explain to me where those correlate lmao. I wouldve been fine marrying 18+. I would have been fine having a baby 18+. The majority of people in my family, class and town were doing so lol. And i didn't want that because they did it. I just always wanted it and was glad to see it would’ve been considered common here. Anyone who didn't buy a house young was just simply because they couldn't afford it at the time. I know for me, I never intend to buy one thats already been lived in. I want to build a house. Maybe some girls and guys feel the same/opposite? Lmao um I don't know. I still dont see the correlation.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Thank you for asking. The correlation is that women avoid marriage because they don't want to be tied down. They aren't sure exactly what they want in a man and/or they aren't sure how to date and find out if a particular man IS what they want. So they freeze and do nothing.

In a similar fashion, most men will not buy a house right away when they're 18. Because they may want to travel the world and try out different cities. (Such as myself.)

Both examples are avoiding a long-term commitment.

[DizzyDesii]

But is that based on age? I know what i want in a man but i no longer know if marriage is what i want. I know a lot of men who have bought a house but still travel. I think its odd though that a lot of men want to wait til they’re old (and stable is the excuse they use) to have a kid, yet they want to have a kid with some super young woman. Sure men have less risk with not being as fertile but there are still risks like downsyndrome. So thats one contradiction that I never got

[DizzyDesii]

Also, young in my opinion for both genders is being under 30. So i dont expect most to have owned a house in their 20s but i know a lot of modern men who do

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii There are several reasons why you're unsure about marriage. But one of them is the same reason everyone else is unsure about marriage. Because marriage in the USA has not had a very good track record lately.

[Jamie05rhs]

And you're different from other women in that you don't mind having kids without a father in their life. (Which does happen to a lot of women, but usually not because of their own wishes. It was something they were trying to avoid.) You are rare.

[DizzyDesii]

Statistics and records dont influence my opinions. I’m too much of a risk taker for that. I question marriage because sometimes i feel trapped in relationships and well divorce is not as easy as breaking up. So i sometimes question if its the route i really want to take. I also think about things like shared assets or their credit affecting mine since a lot of things would be paired once married. I just like my stuff being totally separate from someone elses. I wouldn't do something like a joint account

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Exactly. You just proved my point.

[DizzyDesii]

Which is? I feel most are worried about marriage in regards to losing their assets. Im not worried about losing them. I just simply don't want to share them in the first place. But there are such things as prenups and so on. So the financials are not fully holding me back like the feeling of being “trapped” is

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii Again, that's precisely my point! LOL. (You're afraid of being "trapped.")

[Jamie05rhs]

(See title of original question. Lol)

[DizzyDesii]

Im not afraid of dating nor marrying. Im afraid of divorcing. My trapped isn't about wanting freedom to hoe around. Its about if you date someone longer and longer and realize they’re not who you thought they were and then you feel bad about wanting to divorce them. I fear how well people hide their true colors. Some people give themselevs away in days/weeks/months but there wre some psychos who can hold out for years. And even if theyre not a bad guy, some people do change (not me though) and its not for the better. Feeling trapped with that is scary

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii You're basically saying the same thing in different words. You're going around in circles and explaining it every which way, but you're just reiterating the same thing that I originally said. In other words, we agree!!

[DizzyDesii]

You said women dont want to be tied down. I do. But if i feel trapped i will divorce him and then am fine with the next best thing tying me down 🤷‍♀️

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii You literally just said these words: "and then you feel bad about wanting to divorce them."

[DizzyDesii]

Yes because it may not be his fault that he's changing but im a routine person and do not like change. So if he changes, i dont want him. I want someone who stays true to themselves. The moment he changes out of the blue, if i can't cope, I’m out. I do the same with jobs. If i dont like it, im out. That doesn't mean i wouldn't allow myself to be tied down by the next man/job. They just have to stay consistent

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii If you can quit, then it isn't commitment.

[Jamie05rhs]

And if you don't like people changing, then pick someone who is steady and not all over the place.

[DizzyDesii]

If you can quit then it isn't commitment? Well duh. That doesn't mean you werent EVER committed or werent EVER okay with being tied down... shit fades out especially if people were faking who they were. AGAIN you said “lwomen avoid marriage because they don't want to be tied down”. I dont avoid marriage and want to be tied down so we dont agree. You also said “They aren't sure exactly what they want in a man and/or they aren't sure how to date and find out if a particular man IS what they want.” I know what i want in a man and i know how to find out if a man is what I want. So if im married to him but one day he ups and changes and wants to be pegged for example. Then the mf is now “not straight” in my eyes and i dont want him anymore. That doesn't mean i was never committed! If they can change then so can i by leaving. I would feel trapped if i stayed with a man whose sexuality i questioned. I would feel trapped if i stayed with a man who turned out to say mysoginistic things. I would feel trapped with a man who turned out to be abusive. I would feel trapped with a man who i loved but he cheated on me. These examples are to show that you can commit but feel trapped when you realize something is no longer for you and you hate to leave because you love the person. This has nothing to do with being tied down in general... only being tied down by a certain person after they have showed colors that scare you away. So no, we dont agree

[Jamie05rhs]

"That doesn't mean you werent EVER committed or werent EVER okay with being tied down."
Bullshit. That isn't commitment.
If you think that's commitment, then you don't understand what commitment means.

[DizzyDesii]

My point was that we dont agree :)

[Jamie05rhs]

"I don't avoid marriage and want to be tied down"
No, you don't want to be tied down. You've just told me that you don't (even though you think you said the opposite.)

[DizzyDesii]

Nope. Again we dont agree. Take it how you may.

[Jamie05rhs]

"So if im married to him but one day he ups and changes and wants to be pegged for example. Then the mf is now “not straight” in my eyes and i dont want him anymore."
If that were to actually occur -- him saying he wants to be pegged -- then all you have to do is say NO.

[Jamie05rhs]

Commitment is 'til death. No matter what. You can come up with any excuse in the book, but that fact would still remain.

[Jamie05rhs]

But since you're worried about all of these things, it again just proves my original point. Therefore, I rest my case.

[DizzyDesii]

Nah if he wanted to be pegged then he’s already not straight in my eyes. Curiosity like that wouldve killed what we built because i’d forever question his sexuality after that. Commitment is til death? Well then hell nawl i probably won't ever be married then. Yes lie your case to rest because i wasn't worried and we still dont agree. I probably wouldn't even add “til death do us part” in the vows. I’m more of a “for as long as our love shall last” type girl 🤷‍♀️ It is what it is

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii O-kay.

[LazerBean]

I don't really comprehend the question. I married young, and my husband bought a house young. And all of our friends of both genders have tried their hardest to get married and buy a house Young.

[Jamie05rhs]

@LazerBean I think that's wonderful. :). I've always respected you, and I'm really proud of you guys! ❤️

But I hope you realize that you're the EXCEPTION! Haha.

[LazerBean]

Well thank you, and I guess so lol I think it does have a lot to do with the area you live in as well, though.

[Jamie05rhs]

@LazerBean You're welcome!

And yeah, maybe. Haha

[TonyV]

I don't think so, young men don't want be free to "hookup with every apartment that catches their eye then settle for a house in their 30s"

Not only have I never heard of someone not wanting a house, most don't cause they can't afford it. I just don't think these two points are comparable.

[Jamie05rhs]

"young men don't want be free to "hookup with every apartment that catches their eye then settle for a house in their 30s" "
I did!! LOL 😆

[Jamie05rhs]

You don't even want to know how many places I've lived. I have a very high Apartment Body Count. Haha

[Anonymous]

Women do want to get married young, every woman I know who wanted to get married either wants or wanted to do it young so I don’t know what you’re on about.

[Jamie05rhs]

You sound British. Lol. But I'm pretty sure you're not from London.

[boggboss]

Thats not true many women that I have seen would prefer to get married young

[Jamie05rhs]

@boggboss Really?
But are you referring to black girls?
Because I don't think white girls would want that. They generally tend to be very independent-minded.

[DizzyDesii]

You realize the independent minded is more associated with black and latina women? So I don't know why you would assume that jamie. My town is a good mix of black and white with some hispanic and Asian. But a lot of the young married couples are white with white, or Asian with white. So you must be speaking of more modern white women or just the feminist ones because i know very few independent white women. So many settled for the housewife/trophy wife role. As for the black women, not all are independent but for those that are, they still get approached by men. But a lot of the men are intimidated by a successful woman.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii I didn't mean that kind of "independent minded". Lol. I'm not talking about strong women who "won't take no shit." I'm talking about solitary women who "don't need no man.". Lol

[Jamie05rhs]

Also, you live in one of the most conservative states in the country. So I'm actually not that surprised that people in your area are still traditional and want to get married.

[DizzyDesii]

We all have taken shit so i didn't mean that either. In referring to independent as in “can be successful without relying on a man”. And as i stated, white women (and Asian too) are the main ones here at least who will settle for housewife/trophy wife roles so that they dont have to work. A lot of black and latina women are the breadwinners here and i dont mean in singleparent households.

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii OHHH. Well, that makes sense, now that you explained it!

[NathanDavis]

I bought three houses before 30... I'm not married yet

[Jamie05rhs]

Tell us more about that, brother. :). What was that like for you? What was the mental process you went through that led you to purchase your first house? What was it that made you feel comfortable enough to do that?

[Jamie05rhs]

@NathanDavis

[NathanDavis]

I just didn't see it as a matter of marriage... and I did not make it about a woman being or not being in my life

by the time I was 25 years old or so, I had the chance to put some money into a small place, the house itself was small but the location was key and that's where I saw the value (today, it is worth double at least)

so, to me.. it is a financial situation, rather than saving in banks or investing on something more uncertain, I've just been buying property here and there (bought after I sold a couple of businesses before)

none of the houses I've bought were purchased thinking of marriage or thinking of a woman... when the time comes and if it happens, and we need to buy a house for a family, that would be done as a couple and it would be done planning for a family

[Jamie05rhs]

@NathanDavis Oh, I don't see it as anything to do with a woman, either. Well, except indirectly. Because women generally tend to want stability. I like my freedom and independence and the ability to go wherever I want whenever I want. So really the only thing that would get me to settle down would be a wife. Because then I would have an excuse to do so.

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, I see. So you just saw it as a financial investment. I get what you're saying; that makes sense.

[NathanDavis]

yes... and when/if needed, I am going to sell them

or I could rent them just like I do now

so, they are not keeping me tied either

[Jamie05rhs]

@NathanDavis Good ideas. Thanks, man. :)

[Fuentes]

Most woman wanna be married young? I never heard this different unless it's new but at the same time idc cause I'm not wifing nothing but this bag 🎒💰💒💍

[Fuentes]

Damn bruh that's church emoji came out Hella SuS lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@Fuentes Those girls don't really want to get married. They're just saying that because you won't commit to them so they see you as a challenge, like a game to beat. It's reverse psychology.

And lol what's wrong with the church emoji?

[Fuentes]

It looked suspect like it looked cooler like the bull, that turned into the cow hahaha

[Jamie05rhs]

@Fuentes Lmfao 😂

[legalboxers]

they are other priorities. But I can refute this because buying a house young is equity. You want something to look good on your credit report

[Jamie05rhs]

@legalboxers I understand what you're saying. But I just didn't want to go through all of the hassle of owning a home when I didn't even know where I wanted to live or where my life was going to take me.

[legalboxers]

@Jamie05rhs I fully get that. at 36 I was invested in my job and path. You are young, a house is a commitment.

[Jamie05rhs]

@legalboxers Yeah

[legalboxers]

people are young, they want to explore, travel. I never had that bug

[Jamie05rhs]

Cool

[Cheerfull009]

Everybody want to marry after achieving his goals

[Jamie05rhs]

Marriage IS my goal! Haha. I've always been a huge "hopeless romantic.". Love is really the only thing that is important to me. I don't care about anything else.

[Cheerfull009]

It is your choice otherwise people want to make their career before marriage, a jobless person cannot marry

[Jamie05rhs]

@Cheerful009 You know there is a difference between a job and a career, right?
I do not have a career, but I have a very extensive resume. I can get any [entry-level] job I want.