Advice needed please, Is something wrong with me?

[Anonymous]

Please someone tell me that I am not insane and someone understands. I have come to a point of genuinely despising myself. I despise my hypersensitivity, I need constant reassurance from the people around me. I crave love and to be understood. I overthink every single, tiny, thing. Every facial expression, every movement, every word.

I am walking on egg shells 24/7 because I fear that everyone around me already hates me and they're all hiding it. I am so tired. I am tired of thinking, sometimes I'm tired of being alive. I am not suicidal anymore but I am so desperately exhausted. I honestly just wish I had an on and off button. I can't sit without thinking about everything and spiraling every second of the day.

When I have a good day, I am only waiting for everything to go wrong, for everything to be ruined. I am afraid to be happy because I know it won't last. I don't want to be a burden, I sometimes think itd be better if I was alone for the rest of my life. I couldn't ruin anyone's day but mine.

[WaterIsland]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. First of all, I don’t think anything is wrong with you. That implies such a negative connotation. Everyone has their own struggles they are facing. Even if they aren’t visible or apparent.


I do think it’d benefit you to get professional advice. Speaking for myself (and guessing most on this site) we aren’t professionals so any advice is truly limited in nature.


The only piece of advice I can really give besides that is this. Imagine you go up to a friend or family member, and start a conversation but they aren’t quite as receptive. There are so many ways you could interpret that. They could be tired. They could be dealing with a lot in their personal life. They could be thinking about work concerns. They might not want to talk right then. So many reasons. And not all of them are negative necessarily, even tho not being receptive to your conversation is kinda negative. So the point with that story is that you have to try to keep in mind that people only show a small fraction of what is really going on. And I’m sure you have good days and bad days, so does everyone else. That doesn’t mean people don’t like you. It just means life has a lot of ups and downs.


Finally. Do your best to remember the positives. Although you might think it’s a struggle. It’s special that you’re able to pick up on all of those emotions and signals. Some people have a really tough time picking up on social signals. I know it’s struggle for you right now. But it shows that you have strong emotions, care a lot, and have a great sense of your surroundings and those around you. All amazing qualities.


As I said tho. I think it’d benefit you to talk to a professional to help work out how to ensure those positive qualities in yourself become a positive instead of a hindrance. Because they truly have the potential to be positive things.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I started therapy last month so I am actively trying to get help. But seriously, thank you so so so much. I can't explain how helpful this was.

[WaterIsland]

I’m so glad!! Life is a journey. And it’s not easy at all. It’s all about slowing trying to view things through a positive lens and perspective. I know that is easier said than done. It’s not easy to just be positive all the time. It requires a lot of effort. But once you can slowly do that more, you’ll realize that even the negative things and struggles make the positive’s brighter and are just learning moments.

I’m so glad you’re getting help, and I hope eventually it helps you. It’s a slow process, but stick with it. It’s a marathon not a sprint.

My direct messages are open, and if I can provide any more advice, let me know. (Keeping in mind I’m not a professional, but I’ll do the best I can).

So glad it was helpful tho! Keep doing the best you can. It’ll get better eventually, especially since you’re putting in the effort.

[Anonymous]

Have you considered professional advice? If you’re struggling this much you may need a higher level of help than GAG.

[Asker]

I started therapy last month. I think it helps but at the same time I just don't know. I can only speak to them once a week so in the middle I have many thoughts, but no where to put them. So I just thought of asking randomly.

[Opinion Owner]

I know this probably sounds lackluster and a bit cliche, but give it time. If you really think about it, you’ve spent your whole life developing what you struggle with now. So it’s going to take some time before you see the sort of results that will stick with you throughout the week. If at all you don’t feel like your therapist is giving you substantial help, then try someone else, since they all have such different approaches. I know things are overwhelming right now but my biggest advice is to do what works. Like if your therapist (or anyone in general) offers a tip that actually helps then remember it when you’re having a spiraling moment or your emotions feel like too much. This journey is a long one but it gets easier bit by bit.