Why do people say love will happen when you least expect it?

Question

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

because when you don't *expect* it, you expect other things. Meaning you have different goals for yourself, so that already means you have self-love: to pursue something that is realistic (not a person) and would make you happy/pleased/ content.

It also means you learn to love the world and be content with self. When you're content with self, you don't come off as desperate, and people can see your actual character, than just your reactionary responses to your own insecurities and eager needs, or so.

The more that people can see your persona/ identity, the better of a chance that you find someone long-term to vibe with.

(While some people CAN go through learning points/ cross milestones together, and that be some type of 'bond' (making them exceptions... it's better when two people can connect on a deeper level and have many things in common/likeness/ and understanding. You get that by two authentic people vibing together/ having that chemistry/ compatibility).

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

Because in most cases that's usually what happens: when you are not looking or expecting love to happen, it will find you. In other words, rather than force or go looking for it, love should occur naturally.

... at least that's what those of us unlucky with love and relationships tell ourselves as reassurance so we don't get depressed, lol.

It seems like my past relationships and crushes happened when I stopped trying to damn hard- and when I did put effort in, posted on dating sites? Disappointment.

That's not to say you shouldn't put -some- effort in, but keep in mind if you completely engross yourself on dating sites, and are trying to find a partner all the time, it's not only going to burn you out, but may become stressful and depressing, depending on your experience. But if you find someone without trying so hard, it's more... I won't say relaxing, but feels natural.

Sensmind · Accepted Answer

I think this is a way of saying "Don't try too hard... Don't overthink things... Don't lose your true self by changing too much... etc " . There is a whole genre of dating/relationship advice based around this.

We are all guilty of this at some stage of our life. An example I will give is making friends , think of all the friends you have made , they mainly happened without forethought so maybe love can happen (I would slightly change here and say) when you don't expect it rather than least expect it.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

SOMETIMES it works like that, and people take note, because it confirms that truism. But when it doesn't work that way, they don't take note that the truism failed. So the process of selective attention helps people to "confirm" what is only SOMETIMES true.

findacure4wokeness · Answer

It is sort of true at least for me. I don't hate women but I Don't think I can be reached on a romantic level anymore so I guess I blocked myself in a way. But women do approach me every now and then even though I don't look for or expect it but this might not happen for everyone like this. Maybe people need to make their own luck and get out and meet people rather then relying on chance. How many decades waiting for the right person is too much? I've heard of virgins in their 70's who have said that the right man or women never came along and I wonder if they relied on this statement too much. Go out and meet people without expectations and you will most likely find someone when you least expect it.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think love is when you are emotionally and mentally ready and not when you hunger and thirst for somebody to be in your life. The relationship has to come at your level of security and comfort and not at your level of need so nobody should date unless they are happy being single.

EricSummer · Answer

This is mainly a thing that older people say to console younger ones who struggle to find love.

Partly it is a cultural thing, too. In Western culture, the ideal love story contains lots of coincidences and love just comes to people without their conscious action.

EpicSnail · Answer

Either it's a bias, because the more effort you expend, the smaller your rewards seem by comparison and vice versa. Or it's a cope. Or it's true, and love can't be forced.

Unit1 · Answer

Lierally i Don't know. It doesn't make any sense.

I had zero expectation of finding love while focusing on escaping my toxic family and the shithole they brought me into. No love has happened.

I have escaped back to Germany at a great cost. If anything, love has a chance now more than ever before.

Tomisworthless · Answer

Cliches or whatever the word is. Love doesn’t happen for most people. Most men die without children that’s a historical fact. Majority of women and about 20-30% of men throughout history reproduced. The men that didn’t were killed in wars, imperial conquests, diseases or unattractiveness.

Anonymous · Answer

Because people hate the fact that they have to futily search for love. They don't want you taking the easy way out and quitting. So they feed you that b. s. line to keep you trying. That way they know they're not the only one out there wasting thier time.

exitseven · Answer

It really does happen like that. When I met my wife it was the day I decided I was giving up on dating. Meeting somebody was the last thing I was thinking about.

FreyaRed · Answer

No. Maybe the first love happens that way, but when you know the rules is short infatuation not something that has to end always in love.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, it’s what happened for me at least, I had no plan of even meeting a person, just out with a friend and got approached by my now-bf. I know if you haven’t experienced it then it doesn’t make sense or sounds dumb though.

Chthou95 · Answer

It's a big fat lie people say to others to give them comfort. This is especially bullshit if you're a man. As a man you have to go out there and seek the things you want. It doesn't come to you. Life is not a movie

inhua · Answer

it's a feel good lie designed to trick the masses into being compliant

shades777 · Answer

I've never heard anyone say that but I get your point, people love feel good platitudes that have no basis in reality but a sucker is born everyday and money rules everything around me, dolla dolla bill yallllllllll!

Venymal · Answer

It’s just one of those dumb sayings people come out with as a coping mechanism that has no basis in reality. Like, “everything happens for a reason”. It’s nonsense.

kevypatyy7 · Answer

That question sounds like an Indian drama I watch at home... Seriously unless when you lose your senseless.

Manuel2 · Answer

As most people have lust but when it is love or lighting bolt. Take it and do not through it away. It like babies. One aboration is one gift thrown away.

Anonymous · Answer

It might be true for some, but for me I've always had to take active measures to find love

AdithyaR · Answer

It's a silly story they say to console lonely people

LiamJHayden · Answer

No idea. For me love happens when I choose to love.

art84 · Answer

Not everyone will happen to find love in this world.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess because it’s so random when it happens and seems like the more you try the less you succeed when it comes to that

Anonymous · Answer

It's true for women not men. Men need to have some money , status. Plus men are expected to initiate so a woman will always feel surprised.

Simslover92 · Answer

Because it usually does.

TheMadLad · Answer

Just to keep the conversation happening..

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Who the fuck knows LOL

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

because that happened to some people

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

That actually happens a LOT...

In_Trance · Answer

Because that's what they perceive

Anonymous · Answer

because they're fucking idiots

Äxlbäksölöl · Answer

It does dough

Anonymous · Answer

It is the truth

Why do people say love will happen when you least expect it?

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Why do people say love will happen when you least expect it?

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