Is forgiveness actually subjective?

[Anonymous]

For instance many of us would think finding our partners in our bed with our best friend is unforgivable. I would too. But is it indeed unforgivable?

What if someone else were to have the heart to forgive both and work it out? Then who are we to say that's suppose to be forgivable and what isn't? What's unforgivable to many of us might be forgivable to someone else.

I've seen extreme cases where a parent was in court and actually forgave the drunk driver that killed his/her child. That's a forgiveness of the highest degree and indeed something I wouldn't ever forgive.

So saying ''that's unforgivable'' wouldn't be correct because there will always be someone out there that actually can forgive higher offenses too. So overall, is forgiveness subjective?

Updates

11 mo

Kent Whitaker for example forgave his son (and still visits him in prison) for murdering his wife and younger brother. He was originally going to be sentenced to death but the father pleaded not to and instead received life in prison.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lhIu2zo76Q
Personally (subjectively) that would be unforgivable to me but it's not objectively unforgivable because the father forgave him.

[BrookeAZ90]

Of course it is. But it's implied when saying something is unforgivable that it refers only to you as you are the only one who would need to. No matter what anyone does, someone is willing to forgive them but it's not necessary to consider them when declaring if you can or not as no one else has been wronged.

[Asker]

Indeed. I updated an extreme case of what I, personally would find unforgivable but kudos to that man that still forgave. A man forgave his oldest son for orchestrating the murder of his wife and other younger son. He basically had his mother and younger brother killed. Yet that man still visit his son in prison.

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

I think it is.

I would never expect someone to forgive someone for a drunk driving accident, or even cheating, but if someone did, id be very impressed. so yes, I think it's subjective, but there are things that take much longer/harder to forgive than others.

[Asker]

I updated another example. It's about a father that forgave his oldest son for killing his wife and other younger son. It's the Whitaker case. His son was already sentenced to death but the father pleaded not to have him killed and he got spared... instead he's now serving life in prison.

[cjdiqnrncoqbeofna]

there was also a case where a group of teenage girls brutally tortured and killed another girl, and the mother ended up gifting the leader of the group a service dog. Shanda sharer case

[MementoMori777]

it is subjective because i have heard of many situations on here where cheating was forgiven for example and that just shoes that it all depends on the persons way of thinking and the capacity or forgiveness they have in their hearts.

[MementoMori777]

shows*

[Asker]

Indeed and that's why it's incorrect to treat something as objectively unforgivable (or say it's totally unforgivable; that's just coming from us and what we think) since every person thinks differently.

[MementoMori777]

yep but they honestly should forgive that, its like walking into a snake pit, getting out of it alive and then walking back into it 😂

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Well I can't exactly forgive someone if they're dead, now can I?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Speaking of course of finding my girl in bed with my best friend

[Asker]

Why even bothering killing a girlfriend and the friend? A girlfriend is just that, a girlfriend and friends can come and go too. Both are easily replaceable.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

No you're right lol

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I'd probably just join them and tell her the next 3some is with a girl

[LiamJHayden]

Forgiveness is subjective, as each person, is still alive and sentient, can choose to forgive or not irrespective of what the wrong is.

[Asker]

Indeed it is. Yet, I've seen those that forgave a remorseful cheater get criticized by other posters. The person found it forgivable but the others kept saying ''never forgive, it's unforgivable''. Maybe to them but not to the person that wants to forgive.