Like I'm a lot more confident and self asserted when I'm halfway between tipsy/drunk. I actually look people in the eyes, probably a touch less polite - which isn't a bad thing considering I probably say sorry about ten times a day whenever out and about to strangers. I speak my mind more rather than holding back or standing in silence too worried to speak in case it makes me more weird.
I've also got this sunglasses effect thing where I feel more assertive when wearing them, I'll look at the floor less and am more bold while looking around wearing them.
Like these might sound like jokes but are but a few examples. Lately I've been getting nervous about crossing a zebra crossing, in case I make someone mad that they have to slow down and allow me to cross.
Or when eating at a restaurant and my chicken breast that I've eaten half of (covered in BBQ sauce, bacon and cheese) was mostly pink with a bloody red centre and I was too nervous about saying anything.
Or the time my hair straighteners set alight in my hand, there was a literal 3 inch fire in my hand, nd I knew it had to be done but didn't want to go in myself about using the manufacturers guarantee.
Or telling my driving instructor that I'm going to cancel and try a new instructor cause i think that it's not working out, I've already seen him get annoyed and angry before so am worried by his response if i say to him I don't want him teaching me anymore (despite the fact I'm paying 80 per session).
I don't know when I got so people pleasery, or maybe nervous about people shouting and getting angry at me. But lately I feel it's gotten to an all time high. It's gotten so bad that the second I do stand up for myself I get a huge sense of satisfaction and feel immensely proud of myself whereas others would see it as part of life.
Yet when I'm drinking I'm never like that and would have no problem saying how I feel, just makes me want to be tipsy without drinking, at least then I'd be more assertive.
I've also got this sunglasses effect thing where I feel more assertive when wearing them, I'll look at the floor less and am more bold while looking around wearing them.
Like these might sound like jokes but are but a few examples. Lately I've been getting nervous about crossing a zebra crossing, in case I make someone mad that they have to slow down and allow me to cross.
Or when eating at a restaurant and my chicken breast that I've eaten half of (covered in BBQ sauce, bacon and cheese) was mostly pink with a bloody red centre and I was too nervous about saying anything.
Or the time my hair straighteners set alight in my hand, there was a literal 3 inch fire in my hand, nd I knew it had to be done but didn't want to go in myself about using the manufacturers guarantee.
Or telling my driving instructor that I'm going to cancel and try a new instructor cause i think that it's not working out, I've already seen him get annoyed and angry before so am worried by his response if i say to him I don't want him teaching me anymore (despite the fact I'm paying 80 per session).
I don't know when I got so people pleasery, or maybe nervous about people shouting and getting angry at me. But lately I feel it's gotten to an all time high. It's gotten so bad that the second I do stand up for myself I get a huge sense of satisfaction and feel immensely proud of myself whereas others would see it as part of life.
Yet when I'm drinking I'm never like that and would have no problem saying how I feel, just makes me want to be tipsy without drinking, at least then I'd be more assertive.
Updates
1 mo
That's odd just got a pm saying I posted this under sexuality - when I definitely put girls behaviour, and that the mods changed it to other, what the heck is up with that. I know I changed it as it automatically put sexuality 🙄 wth is up with gag
